All the Right Mistakes
by performanceaddict
Summary: Harry and Hermione spend one drunken night together, when their relationships with Ginny and Ron are on the rocks...too bad one night wasnt enough. And what will they do now Hermione is pregnant? DH compatible but scraps the epilouge!
1. Chapter 1

Authors Note 1: Hey all, well this is my first fanfict so please be nice! Hope you enjoy!

_**All the Right Mistakes**_

_**Chapter 1**_

"All I said was that he irritates me!" Yelled Harry.

"You're being a jealous bastard Harry Potter and you know it! He's just a friend for Merlins sake!" Ginny screamed back at him. Lately it seemed like these fights were getting more and more common.

"I'm not jealous…all I'm saying is that you two have a history together! That and he keeps leering at you Gin." Harry pleaded with her but to his dismay she didn't listen. Instead she decided to hurl a small china figurine from the glass table beside her. Luckily for him she was a better seeker than a chaser.

It was another one of those nights. Harry had arrived home to the flat in Covent Garden exhausted from Auror training as usual. He was looking for some comfort and soothing in the form of his girlfriend but like so many other nights she was on her way out the door. Yet again she had arranged to meet Dean Thomas her team mate on the Worthington Wasps Quidditch team to discuss strategy. When Harry put up the tiniest of protestation she had, as usual, blown up and called him her latest catchphrase – 'a jealous bastard'.

"That 'history' as you called it was years ago! We were still in school, I can't believe you're acting like this." She said furiously. "And Dean does not leer!"

"All I'm saying is that in the last month he's seen more of you than I have!" Harry yelled.

"Well that's not my problem Harry. You're the one who works twelve hour shifts!" she said childishly picking up her emerald green hand bag that matched her tight fitting dress.

"I can't help the hours that I'm training Gin but you can. You can talk strategy any time! Why does it have to be tonight? Why does it have to be three times a week? Why do you have to get so dressed up?" He questioned her. He was so irritated now. She was never around when he got home and she barely seemed interested in him anymore now that the 'chosen one' glimmer had started to fade. As for their sex life? Well at the moment it was null in void. He had spent so many nights sleeping on the couch it was unreal. Wasn't this supposed to be a happy time? He would often think. The war was over; they were young and just starting out and supposed to be in love. Made for each other people would often say. Weren't they supposed to go out together, drink, have fun with friends and of course go at it like jack rabbits?

Everything else seemed to be going great. Auror training was hard work but he was loving it. He only had about a year left and he would qualify. Ron, Hermione and him had never been better. Ron and Hermione had finally started dating and it looked as if they were going to tie the knot any sometime soon - although they still hadn't moved in together. It seemed they were all so much closer together and he still had other friends from work and of course Neville and Luna were never far away. The only thing that seemed off was him and Ginny.

"It has to be tonight Harry because it has to be tonight! We don't get time to talk during training and as for getting dressed up, we always go for drinks to talk strategy! Do you want me to walk into some fancy bar looking like a tramp? What would people say!?" Ginny told him heading for the door. Harry sighed and looked miserably away.

"Now I'm going, don't wait up." She said finally slamming the door.

Harry flopped down onto the new cream couch and turned the T.V. on. The first few months they had moved in together they hadn't really used it but now Harry was spending more and more time alone and he had become used to the routine of flicking it on. He jumped through the channels until he settled on one with some show about divorced couples. Needless to say it didn't quell his fears. They were nowhere near marriage of course but still the idea of them breaking up made Harry feel slightly queasy – well more than slightly. Not so long ago everything had been so right but now….well he just didn't know. The spacious flat over that had once seemed so inviting now seemed cold and empty. Feeling suddenly drained Harry closed his eyes and drifted off into an uneasy sleep – he didn't bother moving since he knew he'd spend the night there anyway.

"**Oh god Hermione!" Ron cried as he climaxed inside of her. As soon as he was done he rolled off of her and lay back onto the bed and closed his eyes. He was vaguely aware of her muttering the contraceptive spell next to him but was still consumed in the bliss of his orgasm. **

**Hermione on the other hand had that feeling in the pit of her stomach again. And it wasn't the nice one like Ron's. It was that sinking fear that she felt everyday – the fear that she wasn't in love with Ronald Weasley. Sure she loved him. Of course she did but sometimes she wondered if she was 'in love' with him. He was her best friend and she could tell him almost anything but their relationship wasn't exactly perfect. They fought just like they always had about everything and in bed Hermione couldn't help but feel they just didn't gel. Like that night for instance. She had come over to Ron's to talk about Ginny and Harry's anniversary gift that they were going to buy and perhaps drop some hints that maybe they should move in together but to no avail. They had danced around both subjects for hours and were still no closer to getting the couple a present or joining keys. She was so frustrated that she was quite happy that he began to kiss her in that particular way. She hoped that the frustration might help in the bedroom. Needless to say it didn't. Hermione felt that when she and Ron made love it was just going through the motions. It wasn't supposed to be like that was it? Not that she had anyone else to compare it too, since he had been her first and to date her only but it didn't seem like it should be ordinary and boring and the same every single time. More than often she thought if she was doing it right. And that night had been no different. They kissed, they took their clothes off, got into bed, he was on top of her, he was done and that was it. Sighing a sigh of contempt and frustration –which Ron took as satisfaction of course – she sat up and began to put her underwear on. **

"**I'd better go." She said quietly. **

"**So soon?" Ron said with puppy dog eyes, internally groaning with annoyance she noticed he was aroused again. **

"**Well…" she said desperately trying to think of an excuse. "I've got an early meeting tomorrow." **

**She knew it was crap and an even worse excuse but she really didn't feel like staying any longer. Ron looked despondent. **

"**I'm sorry…" she began and leant in to give him a kiss on the cheek. Somehow however he managed to move his face and get her on the lips. He kissed her hard and pulled her towards him. She sighed internally. He once again removed her bra she had just managed to clasp and flipped her underneath him. She didn't object but merely thought -**

"_**Here we go again…" **_

Authors Note 2: There we go. Hope you liked! Reviews would be very nice and helpful! I have a vague idea of where it's going but plot suggestions are welcome!

Thanks

Performance addict

x


	2. Chapter 2

_A/n – Wow! Thanks for all the feedback guys! It was all really encouraging which made me smile! I'll defiantly take into consideration your suggestions. This chapter is sort of a filler I think before we see some Harry/Hermione interaction so it's not hugely exciting but still worth a read I think! Anyways hope you like!_

_**Chapter 2**_

Hermione stood patiently waiting at the muggle coffee stand. She didn't mind waiting, no not at all since this was the only place where you could actually get a decent lemon ice-tea and she would be damned if she was done out of it by a queue. So she stood outside in the fresh April morning waiting for the burst of lemony caffeine. The street she was on looked perfectly normal indeed, no muggle would have ever thought that between the Abbey National Bank and the corner shop stood the wizarding worlds biggest research centre. Hermione was based there and worked for the Magical Acceptance Committee –MAC for short – and her job was to approve all the latest spells and potions as well as improve some old ones. It wasn't the most exciting job in the world but she was doing what she loved – researching and putting it into practise. It was also a nice little foot-hole if she ever wanted a Ministry job and the pay wasn't bad either. It contented her for now.

She yawned as she moved up one in the line. She really did need that tea. She hadn't got home to her own apartment till late the pervious night and if it had been left to Ron she wouldn't have went home at all. However she insisted she had to leave much to his displeasure.

When she finally got to the front of the queue she breathed a sigh of relief, she would finally get a boost of energy and perhaps not spill anything on her new robes like she usually did when she was tired.

"One lemon iced-tea please." She said brightly.

"Sorry Miss all out of those today, the machines on the fritz." Said the man behind the counter. "Anything else I can get you?"

She sighed "Just a latte then."

Five minutes and a bad latte later she was heading back across the road when she saw a familiar redhead just a little way up the street.

"Hey Gin!" Hermione called and waved to her. Ginny spun around and jumped when she saw her. Hermione thought this slightly unusual. They were after all best friends and wasn't Ginny supposed to be at Quidditch practise? She shook off the nagging feeling that something wasn't right as she made her way towards Ginny.

"Hi Hermione." Said Ginny sounding slightly off.

"Hey, everything alright Gin?" Hermione asked concerned.

"Eh…yeah super!" she replied a bit too quickly. Now that she was closer Hermione could examine her. She donned new blue dress robes over a low cut cream blouse and skirt with matching heels. Her hair was impeccably straight –not in her usual messy bun- and she was wearing slightly too much make up. She looked as if she was going to a bar not heading off to a training session like she should be.

"Where you off to?" asked Hermione trying to seem nonchalant as if she hadn't noticed anything.

"Oh, erm well…." She began but stumbled "The team is – is having a function. Yes a charity function. It's a lunch so I thought I'd best you know throw some proper clothes on."

It was a viable story but Hermione didn't really believe it. There was something in Ginny's manner that suggested she was keeping some sort of secret. However Ginny was her friend and she wouldn't push it. It's couldn't have been that big a deal if she didn't know, could it?

"Harry not going?" she asked casually, finding it strange that Harry wouldn't turn up to a charity event to escort Ginny.

"We eh had a fight last night so I em….didn't get to mention it to him. He probably wouldn't have got the day off work anyway." Ginny mumbled.

"Ah I understand." Hermione said. She felt slightly sorry for Ginny. It seemed like her and Harry were fighting more and more. "Well I'd best be off, my lunch break finishes in five. Catch you later Gin!"

Ginny nodded and Hermione began to walk back up the street. Just as she rounded the corner she caught sight of Ginny again – although this time she wasn't alone. Beside her was a man about six foot dressed up just like Ginny. Then she recognised him it was Dean Thomas. Hermione decided to watch just a little longer. She saw Ginny frantically look round as Hermione ducked into a doorway out of sight. It wasn't really spying she though, just a bit of observation. The two talked for a minute or two which gave Hermione a sinking feeling in her stomach. She shrugged it off. It made sense Dean was there he was on the team with Ginny it was perfectly viable that she should be meeting him or giving him a rather long hug or draping her arms around him….or kissing him on the cheek…

That was all Hermione saw for then the two apparated hand in hand and where gone. The sick feeling came back. Why did she kiss him? Granted it was on the cheek but still, Ginny wasn't really a touchy feely person. Shaking her head in disbelief she walked back to her office but she doubted she'd get any work done now.

---

"Potter! Get down!" Yelled a voice from behind him. Instinctively Harry ducked just as a stunning spell whizzed above him.

"Thanks Seamus!" Harry called back as he sent a body bind curse hurling across the other side of the field.

"Stop thanking me and get behind those bunkers, Wood and Malfoy are kicking our arse!" Seamus shouted to him and Harry nodded. Carefully, Harry moved keeping low to the ground, across the field ducking whenever spell came near. Eventually he came close to the bunker and with one not so graceful dive he hurled himself behind it.

"Where is it, where is it?" he said frantically, tearing up the long grass beneath him. Finally he found the small red pouch and stuffed it into his combat robes. That was that done, now if he could only get back to the portkey. He stuck his head just above bunker and signalled to Seamus that it was mission accomplished as the Purple Team - made up of Oliver Wood, Draco Malfoy, Cho Chang and Alicia Spinnet – advanced forward.  
"Reducto!" he yelled and sent Cho Chang and Oliver Wood hurtling backward. Seamus hit Alicia Spinnet full on with a body bind and now all that was left between Harry's team and victory was Draco Malfoy. Harry sent a stunning spell to Malfoy's left and when he ducked he ran back to Seamus who was behind a rather large rock. When they had caught their breath they agreed to make a run for it. However just as they were about to move, Malfoy apparated in front of them.

"Going somewhere Potter?" he said cockily but without any real malice. He raised his wand but Seamus was too quick and tackled Malfoy to the ground.

"Run Harry!" he shouted. Harry hesitated but completion of the exercise was key so he took off at the speed of light towards the old bicycle which was now only feet away. He heard a 'stupefy' from behind and dove forward desperately trying to hide himself in the long grass. All was silent. For now he was hidden but if he tried to move Malfoy would surely see him. Deciding it was worth the risk he inched forward. The portkey was so close now. With one last massive jump he launched himself forward but he felt something hit his back just before he disappeared and all of a sudden he was blasted rather forcefully halfway across the room he had been transported into. He lay gasping for a breath on the floor. His head was swimming and he had a throbbing pain in his back but he was happy. He had won.

"Potter!" said a gruff voice from above him "Do you have your target?" Harry nodded weakly and took out the red pouch. A strong hand pulled him to his feet and Harry came face to face with his tutor. His name was Robert Lodgeville and he was a well respected Auror. He was about mid forties, small, balding and spectacled but Harry knew not to underestimate him.

"Good lad, good lad." He said in a strong Scottish accent. He opened up the pouch and took out a glowing silver coin, with a wave of his wand it was gone.

"Did anyone else make it back?" asked Harry adjusting his glasses.

"Robins brought Wilson back but he's in the Infirmary." The man explained.

"Apparently Malfoy was a little too eager with his Reducto curse and he sent Wilson flying into a tree." Logeville told him "Remind me to have a word with him about effort levels in training." Harry nodded to him "Now go get yourself cleaned up, you've been out there for six hours. After that we're done for today."

Harry did not waste any time. He was exhausted, it had been one of their hardest training sessions yet. The budding Aurors had been split into teams and dumped in the middle of Essex with a set of instructions on where to find a 'target'. After many long hours of deciphering clues and getting past challenges they had ended up in a field in Dublin where the remaining groups, Purple and Yellow – Harry's team – had battled it out to find the pouch.

He took a long shower in the changing room. It felt good to let the warm water flow over his aching muscles and wash the days dirt and grime away. When he was done he wrapped a towel around his waist and made his way to the locker room.

"Congrats Potter that's the second challenge you've won this month." Said Malfoy from behind.

"Thanks, you lead your team well out there." Harry replied politely. They had an agreement now did Harry and Draco. They weren't exactly best friends but they knew if they didn't get along they wouldn't make it through Auror training. He examined Malfoy closely. He had definitely changed since school. He was still as pale as ever but standing there covered in mud and god knows what else Harry could see he had matured significantly. He most certainly was not a ferret any more.

"By the way this came for you at the front desk, Lodgeville asked me to pass it on." Malfoy said handing Harry a piece of parchment. He unrolled it carefully.

_Hey,_

_I was thinking; how about lunch tomorrow just you and me? _

_Love Hermione_

_xxx_

Harry stared at the parchment curiously. Hermione and he never really spent much time alone together. Ron and Hermione did obviously, Ginny and Hermione did because they were girlfriends but Harry and Hermione had not ever been really alone together since school. Musing pleasantly about why Hermione would want to meet him alone he scribbled his reply on the parchment.

"What are you grinning at Potter? Get a naughty note from your little Weasley?" Malfoy teased.

"What do you mean?" Said Harry bewildered.

"Well you're grinning like an idiot over there."

"Whatever Malfoy." Harry scoffed shaking his head. He was not grinning like an idiot; merely smiling at the thought of spending time with his best friend. That was all, wasn't it?

_A/n – hope you liked! Reviews as always would be appreciated, also I'm a bit stuck for a fight between Ron and Hermione so if anyone has some good ideas feel free to suggest them! Tah very much!_

_Performanceaddict_

_x_


	3. Chapter 3

_I am happy to say that this has some Harry/Hermione interaction, not the smutty kind however that we all love – but fear not it is coming soon, no pun intended – hope you like! _

_**Chapter 3**_

Hermione sat chewing on the end of her quill. It was already five thirty and she'd normally be heading home but she was still worrying about her decision. Was it really best to tell Harry what she saw? Should she ask Ginny first? Perhaps but from the way Ginny had acted earlier she knew something was off. Hermione thought however, that she might not start the conversation tomorrow by telling Harry what had happened but rather ask him how things were going with Ginny and see if her fears were quelled. Yes, that's what she would do. They would go to lunch, Harry would assure her everything was fine and Hermione would be able to forget about the strange encounter with the red headed girl. She sighed to herself and put down her quill, it was clear there was no point in even trying to get the rest of her paper work done. The days events still spinning in her head she informed her secretary that she was leaving and flooed back to her apartment.

When she got in she kicked off her black strap heels and dumped her robes on the side of her elegant beige couch. She decided a nice glass of Rosie wine was exactly what she needed. She wandered over to her large American sized fridge and took out her favourite Galloway and poured herself a modest glass. She had barely took a sip when green flames erupted from her fireplace.

"Hey love." Said Ron dusting some soot from his robes.

"Hey…" she replied. In truth she had just wanted a nice quiet night. She was exhausted and didn't really want to see anyone at all. Indeed, all Hermione Granger felt like doing was curling up with a good book and a nice bottle of Rosie and to forget all about her day. Immediately she felt guilty. Ron was her boyfriend she should be happy about spending time with him shouldn't she? However she just felt her relationship was going nowhere and every time they were together she was filled with frustration and then the sinking feeling that they just weren't meant to be.

"Have a good day?" he asked giving her a peck on the cheek.

"It was all right." She said "Ran into Ginny…"

Shit. She hadn't meant to let that slip, now she would have to go into details.

"Really? Where abouts?"

"Oh just out and about." She said desperate to change the subject "How was your day?"

"Yeah it was good. That's strange about Ginny; I thought she had training on a Thursday." Ron mused sitting down on the couch.

"Eh yeah." Said Hermione nervously "She had some thing with the club. Anyway we still have to think of present to get those two."

Ron nodded in agreement. They sat for an hour or so talking casually, the conversation moved from, anniversary presents to weddings and eventually on to children. Somehow they started to discuss the differences between a Muggle upbringing and a Wizarding upbringing. As usual the conversation started to heat up and the bickering started.

"All I'm saying Hermione is that sending wizard kids to a Muggle school is pointless, they'd be better staying at home." Ron said stubbornly.

"It is not pointless! You're saying that for the first eleven years of a child's life they shouldn't be educated, I know it's not the traditional for kids from magical families to go to school but I'm telling you mine will. I think it's important." Hermione said trying to persuade him.

"I don't have anything against Muggles but it wouldn't be fair to a kid, they'd feel like an outcast, a freak! I don't think that many of my mates would agree either. They'd all question why." Ron argued getting more agitated. "That's why _my _kids won't."

"I didn't feel like a freak Ronald Weasley and I wouldn't care what anyone else said. It didn't hurt me or Harry! What does it matter what anyone else thought!?" she shouted exasperated.

"Hermione you don't understand, how could you your just a Mug-" He stopped short realising what he was about to say.

"I'm just what Ron. A muggle born? Oh yes that's it isn't it. How could poor little Hermione understand anything about the Wizarding world she's just a Muggle born." Hermione spat furiously.

"Hermione come on you know I didn't mean it like that-"

"Don't you dare! You meant it exactly like that, you think you know what's best, that you're the only one with common sense because you were brought up in this world, well guess what Ron you're not. I understand plenty!" she shouted "Oh and you won't have to worry about anyone trying to put your kids into a Muggle school because there's no way in hell I'm ever going to have yours! Now just get out!"

He narrowed his eyes and sighed contemptuously and stormed off in a haze of green flames. This happened more often than nought and she knew she wouldn't be seeing him for a few days. She didn't know why she had reacted in that way, she knew if she really wanted to then she could have convinced Ron that Muggle schools were all right. But the truth was she didn't really want to. She didn't really want to have to argue about every single little thing. She wanted someone who at least shared some of her views and was willing to listen. She wanted anyone but Ron. She sighed, something was going to have to change. Flopping back on to the couch she downed the rest of her Rosie wine and finally got to open that book.

---

Harry wriggled uncomfortably on the lumpy couch. When he had arrived home the night before Ginny was already out _again_ and he had fallen asleep in front of the T.V _again_. It was almost ten but he didn't get up, it was his day off and he wasn't meeting Hermione till half twelve so he refused to move. The late morning sunlight poured through the window irritating him and he rolled over uncomfortably. He did this a few more times before surrendering and getting up. He headed to the bedroom and was confused by what he found there – or rather what he didn't find. The room was empty and devoid of his girlfriends sleeping form which he found rather strange. The bed was still made up exactly as it had been last night and didn't look as if it had been slept in. Panic flooded Harry's mind. Where was she? Had she come home? Who was she with? Then he remembered she was witch.

"_Of course." He thought to himself "She's just charmed the bed, it'll make itself the same way every morning. Won't it?" _

He didn't quite believe his own rationing but it was enough to keep him from going mental. And he trusted her didn't he? She was his, his Ginny and she had come home last night, he just didn't hear her. Yes that was it. Shaking off a sinking feeling in his stomach he began to get ready.

At 12:15 he was showered, shaved and ready to go. They had decided to meet at a little Muggle Italian restaurant in the heart of London's theatre land called DiMaggio's. So Harry dressed reasonably smartly black suit trousers and a white open neck shirt. He apparated just outside Diagon Alley and walked ten minutes to the cosy restaurant. When he arrived Hermione was already there waiting for him. He couldn't deny she looked wonderful. She had taken off her work robes and wore a cream blouse underneath a black sleeveless waistcoat and a matching skirt which was perhaps just a little short for work. The whole outfit accentuated her curves and her hair was tied neatly into a bun with a few delicate curls hanging down. Harry's heart gave a slight jump when she hugged him and he couldn't quite figure out why.

"Hey you." She said softly giving him a light kiss on the cheek.

"Hey." He said smiling and sat opposite from her in the booth.

Hermione smiled to herself. It felt nice to spend sometime with Harry, she rather missed talking with him like this after everything had settled down after the war. However she fought to block out a little whispering voice in the back of her mind that. It had always been there she supposed – a tiny, minuscule crush. But it had taken all her self control when she had been alone with him in that tent for those few months during the war not to act on her feelings; especially when Ron had acted like such and idiot. However she had put the intensity of what she felt back then, down to her girlish foolishness and the idea that they would be killed at any moment. All she could think was, thank god she hadn't acted on them that would have been terribly embarrassing. But it was all over now of course.

"So what looks good 'Mione?" he said brightly taking a menu. However she didn't get to answer as the waiter came over.

"All right guys what can I get you to drink?" he said cheerily. He was young and sandy haired and Hermione found him very attractive and gave him a dazzling smile. Harry felt something flip in his stomach and his shoulders tense. Was he jealous? He shrugged it off. No why would he be?

"What about a beautiful, delicious glass of Red wine for your beautiful girl?" he said to Harry and gave Hermione a wink. She laughed lightly but shook her head.

"No, no I have to go back to work this afternoon, just lemonade for me. Harry?" gestured to him.

"I'll have a coke." He said sharply and with another wink to Hermione the waiter left.

"If I didn't know any better I'd say you were jealous Harry Potter." Hermione teased.

"Who says I'm not?" he said quite flirty.

"_Wow. Where did that come from?" he thought. _

Hermione didn't reply but he thought he could see her blush slightly. After a minute of awkward silence they started to talk casually about work and their day until it finally veered round to their 'other halves'. Hermione shifted uncomfortably, she had decided she would only bring up Ginny if she absolutely thought it necessary. Harry explained about them constantly fighting and his nights spent on the couch and she listened with sympathy but pointed out that at least his relationship seemed to be going somewhere.

"But I don't think it is 'Mione. I mean we're growing apart, she just doesn't seem to want to spend any time with me and she's been spending an awful lot of time with Dean Thomas…" he said miserably. Hermione's stomach gave a lurch. She just couldn't do it. She couldn't break his heart and tell him that the woman he loved had practically snogged another guy – especially when all she had was her word. So she listened to him sympathetically and half heartedly tried to assure him that he was imagining it and he and Ginny were just going through a rough patch.

"You're right Hermione…" he said although he didn't truly believe it "You're always right." He took her hand from across the table but all of a sudden she jumped.

"Ouch!" she squealed.

"What is it?" Harry said bewildered.

"A spark, that's so strange." She said and laughed taking his hand again and patting it softly.

"So….how are things with you and Ron?" he asked eager to hear that all relationships weren't doom and gloom but he was to be disappointed. He heard her let out a sigh.

"Not great, I mean I don't think he's cheating on me or anything but…well we had another fight last night." She said staring at her half eaten tomato and mozzarella Panini.

"Oh Hermione I'm sorry. Are you alright? What was it about?" he said concerned.

"It's fine, I'm fine. It was silly, he said that if he had kids then he wouldn't ever send them to a muggle primary school and that I didn't understand because I hadn't been brought up in his world. It just seems that we're having more and more silly fights. I keep hoping that if he just asks me to move in things will get better but…" she stopped short, she hadn't noticed it before but there were tears forming in her eyes. Harry stood up and walked round the table to the other side of the booth. Instinctively he put an arm around her and she buried her face in his shoulder. She began to cry harder and she didn't know where the tears came from. She supposed they had just been building up and building up.

"Hey, it's alright. He's a prick." Harry said lifting her face from his shoulder and wiping away her tears. She couldn't remember Harry saying a bad word against Ron unless he had done something to him directly so she was flattered by his defensiveness for her. She laughed lightly, it was all the thanks she could muster.

"And don't be in too much of a rush to move in together, it's not really helped me and Ginny. And-" he began but stopped. He couldn't really describe what he wanted to say. It was strange but at that moment when she was so fragile in his arms he would have done anything for her and couldn't understand why Ron wouldn't.

"And?"

"And…and if I were him I'd have asked you years ago." He said finally. Hermione didn't know what to make of this but nodded happily. It had been one of the best things he had ever said to her. After a few more minutes Harry moved back across the table and the two continued their meal. They stayed clear of the relationship topic and talked about more pleasant things and when it was time to leave Harry insisted on paying – despite Hermione's protestations – and helped her with her coat. They stood awkwardly for a few moments.

"This was nice." Harry finally stumbled out.

"Yeah, we should do it again soon." She said smiling at him.

"Monday." He said quickly.

"Wow that is soon." She said laughing "But that sounds wonderful but I'm paying!"

"Alright…" he said and kissed her lightly on the cheek. "I'll see you soon 'Mione." He paused and looked at her for a second and smiled in a strange way "Thank you." He said finally and apparated away. Hermione walked dreamily back to her office. Yet again she doubted she'd get any work done but for quite a different reason.

_Well that's that. Hmm I hope the Hermione/Ron fight was believable I racked my brains for ages then just decided to write and see where it went. Reasonably happy with it! Well anyways reviews again would be nice and generally help me write faster! _

_Performanceaddict _

_x_


	4. Chapter 4

_A/n- Yeah so loving the feed back! Whooo! Thanks guys. Again this is a sort of filler chapter before we get to the steamy stuff which is the real reason we read M rated ficts! Lol. Anyway this has some fluff and some chemistry between the couple but as I say it __won't be till next chapter it really hits off. Enjoy!_

_**Chapter 4**_

Harry and Hermione did meet up that Monday, and that Wednesday and that Thursday and went for a stroll through Hyde Park on Sunday afternoon. Every free lunch or day they were together just enjoying each others company. For a while they avoided the subject of Ron and Ginny but they eventually after they could no longer dance around the redheads they got more comfortable discussing it. They talked about the fights they had, their worries and their dwindling sex lives – which made Harry blush slightly. After a month or so they knew everything about each other and were closer than they had ever imagined they would be. They had always been close obviously but it was a different kind now, like they had discovered a completely new person within the old image they had had for so many years. Harry now saw the confident charming woman Hermione was, not the brash bushy haired girl he had met on the train. Hermione saw the relaxed and charismatic man Harry had become and no longer thought of him as the young boy she'd bailed out of trouble so many times.

One day they were sitting at a little outdoor café in the West End having lunch. Hermione sat and was reading over some work documents and Harry watched her, taking in every movement she made. He laughed softly and she looked up.

"What?" she asked "Do I have some sauce on my face or something?"

"No." he laughed again "It's just the way you bite your lip when you don't agree with something, it's…"

"_Amazing? Beautiful? Captivating? What exactly are you trying to say man?" his mind taunted him. _

"It's what?" said Hermione also laughing now.

"Entertaining…" he said _"Idiot."_ His mind replied.

"I'm glad I amuse you so much." She said sarcastically and then sighed dropping the document on the table with a thud.

"What's wrong?" he asked

"Oh this stupid new Broom is being pushed to get approved but I'm afraid I don't understand the schematics well enough to calculate the risk factors…." She explained.

"Wow something Hermione Granger doesn't understand!" Harry teased and she stuck out her tongue "I'm kidding, let me take a look at it I know some stuff about brooms believe it or not."

She nodded and he pulled his chair round next to her. He could smell her strawberry conditioner in her curls and feel her soft skin as it brushed against his arm. Casually he slipped an arm around her waist to get more comfortable. The back of his mind noticed how easy it was, almost too easy.

""It's this part here." She said pointing to a rather long paragraph at the bottom of the page. Adjusting his glasses he began to read.

"Hmmm that is quite complicated. I think it means that the acceleration has been tested and it won't affect the magical charms..." He mused furrowing his brow in concerntration.

"That's what I thought but then it goes into how it affects the rider and it looses me." She said frustrated. He looked at her and smiled and she smiled back.

"We've not done this in years." He said "You know trying to figure something out, reading up on the subject."

"I know I've missed it…" she said softly noticing how close he was.

"Me too." He told her in almost a whisper. There was no space between them now and Harry placed a hand on her face and stroked her cheek with his thumb. He noticed the soft plump pinkness of her lips and the warm chocolate sparkle of her eyes. He wondered what it would be like to kiss Hermione Granger, to taste those lips and lock with her eyes. She was staring at him now with those brown orbs and he felt drawn in, their noses and lips were almost touching. He couldn't escape but he didn't really want to. Their breathing was becoming more and more ragged as Harry leant in to kiss her. Then the alarm bells went off in his head.

"_What are you doing mate! She's your best friend!" _ his mind screamed. He pulled away at the last second and jumped up from the chair.

"I eh, I've got to go. I mean training and stuff…really sorry 'Mione I'll catch you later." He stuttered and grabbed his jacket. A moment later he was gone. Hermione was bewildered. One minute he was leaning in to kiss her the next he was off like a bullet. She didn't want to admit it but it hurt. She hadn't planned this but she couldn't say that over the last month the thought of kissing Harry hadn't occurred to her. Sighing sadly she ate the rest of her salad and wondered if they'd ever meet up alone again.

---

Harry flopped down on the couch yet again. It hadn't been a good day. He had probably messed things up with Hermione irreparably, he then obviously hadn't taken in anything in Auror training and Ginny was two hours late. He felt physically and mentally drained. He had almost drifted off to sleep when the front door gave a soft click.

"Hey honey." Ginny called setting down her bag and her keys on the table.

"Hey…" Harry replied. Ginny walked over to him and gave him a quick peck on the cheek and sat next to him.

"How was your day?" he asked but what he really wanted to know was where she had been.

"It was alright, yours?"

"It was alright." He said flatly. An awkward silence swept over them and Harry's mind drifted into thinking how easy it was talking to Hermione. She always had something interesting to tell him or intelligent to say.

"So I was thinking…" he said breaking the silence "Next Thursday night we should have a night just you and me. What do you say?"

"Next Thursday?" she said quizzically.

"Yeah, our two year anniversary Ginny." He said sternly. How could she have forgotten?

"Oh no!" she squealed in horror but Harry didn't quite feel it was genuine.

"What?"

"It's just I- I've made plans with-"

"Don't!" Harry shouted "Don't even say that you've got plans with Dean Thomas on our anniversary!"

"It's not like I meant it Harry!" Ginny screamed back at him. "It's just the way the training schedules worked out."

"Oh bullshit!" he snapped "I just never thought id see the day when…" he stopped short his voice wracked with emotion "When Ginny Weasley – the woman I love would run so openly to another man on our anniversary."

"Stop being so overdramatic!" she spat coldly at him. Suddenly something deep inside Harry snapped. For a moment he was beyond the hurt, beyond the anger but reached a stage where he just couldn't stand it anymore.

"You know what I'm leaving." He said coolly grabbing his jacket. "This time I'm telling you – don't wait up."

He stormed out the door and slammed it roughly behind him. Irritated he trudged down the three flights of stairs and out of the apartment block. He let out a sigh of frustration and without warning slammed his fist into the wall beside him. Immediately he regretted his decision as his hand started to bleed.

"Fuck!" he cursed shaking his hand furiously. He shook his head and knew there was only one thing he could do. Get sloshed.

---

Hermione sat curled up in front of a roaring fire, glass of Rosie in one hand and a book in the other. However the book she had was not quite one of scholarly interests. She supposed she had her mother to blame. She remembered when she was a child her mother would always be reading some sort of trashy romance novel and would blush furiously whenever Hermione's father asked her why she was smiling when she read them. Now it would seem that she had passed the liking for a steamy read on to her daughter. However this particular night she couldn't really concentrate on the sizzling romance between Greta the Victorian Debutant and Jack the chimney sweep. It was all down to the days events with Harry. Hermione had felt her stomach lurch when Harry had leant in to kiss her, she thought for sure he would but then he had pulled away. She supposed it was best he hadn't, it would have just made things awkward. And yet she couldn't say she hadn't wondered, hadn't wanted it….

Slam! She closed the book with a harrumph and dropped it on to the near by coffee table. Taking another sip of her Rosie wine she tried desperately to get Harry's face out of her mind, tried to expel his intoxicating scent from her memory, tried not to be drawn in by those hypnotic green eyes every time she closed hers, she wanted to get rid of the want to kiss those delicate lips. She jumped slightly at a knock on the door.

"Who the hell can this be?" she muttered getting up and going to the door. She unlocked the dead bolt and she was surprised to see Harry at the other side.

"Harry?" she said quizzically. He looked dishevelled and agitated. His glasses were slightly squint and his hair was more messy than usual. He smiled at her softy and raised his arms revealing two long bottles.

"Tequila?" he said "Or Vodka?"

_A/n - __So….personally I'm a vodka girl Harry! This is a warning in advance, next chapter is the first of quite a few sex scenes and if you don't like them I'd suggest you either stop reading the fict now or find a way to skip by them! _

_Thanks for all the lovely reviews, keep them coming as I like to know what you all think! _

_Performanceaddict_

_x_


	5. Chapter 5

_A/n – Yeah so this chapter took a little longer to write so sorry about the wait. However I may be reduced to weekly updates now that I'm back at college after the October holidays but hopefully it will still be 2 updates a week, just depends on assessments and stuff ect…_

_Anyway just a little warning that there is sex in this chapter and if you don't like I'd say stop reading now! Hope you like the little bit of smut in here – please bare in mind that it is my first attempt. Thanks to all who reviewed!_

_**Chapter 5**_

"It's always the same!" Hermione giggled after she downed her fourth Vodka and lemonade. "I mean it's like come on Ron, really he's in he's out and that's it. Never mind what Hermione wants!"

She began to giggle even more and used hand gestures to prove her point. Harry too started to chuckle after taking a shot of tequila, his seventh shot of tequila to be exact.

"Well at least…" he stopped shaking the after affects of the tequila off "At least you're having sex." He slurred "Gin, Gin and I haven't shagged in a month!"

"Gin Gin!" Hermione squealed collapsing on the floor in yet another fit of giggles. Harry began to laugh again too and slid back against the front of the couch. At that particular point in time they were sitting leaning against Hermione's beige couch with a bottle of Tequila and a bottle of Vodka -which were half drunk- and the remainder of Hermione's Rosie wine in the middle of them along with two shot glasses. Harry gave a contented sigh. He yawned and then proceeded to watch Hermione roll on the floor as the last of her giggles subsided. She was wearing a silk red negligee and with a silk robe over the top and matching red hotpants underneath. Her fuzzy slippers had long been discarded. He felt a blush creep up his neck as he saw her breathing come back to normal as she lay on her back on the floor. His heart began to race as he gazed at her long sleek legs and flat stomach. He rather appreciated the view the silk negligee gave him of her nicely rounded breasts which filled the material out exceedingly well. She sat up and her curls bounced over her face and she swept them back in one graceful movement.

"Harry Harry Harry!" she began to say in a singsong voice "It doesn't seem fair to you, I mean no sex! Especially when Ginny is practically snogging Dean Thomas ten feet in front of my office." She told him as she downed a straight vodka shot.

"Eh?" Harry asked looking around dizzily.

"Mmmmhhhhmmmm! I saw her I did. She was draped all over him, I didn't tell you because I didn't want to hurt you dearie! Thought I should have some proof." She rambled not really knowing what she was saying. "Oops I probably shouldn't have told you that!"

"I-its al-alright." He slurred "I appreciate the se-s-snetiment?" Harry laughed.

"Snetiment? That's not a word!" Hermione exclaimed. "You big silly."

And there she went again, breaking out in a fit of giggles taking Harry with her. After they calmed down Hermione sighed and Harry copied her. She hit him playfully on the arm.

"Your pissed Harry, completely and utterly fucked, sloshed, mashed, away with it-"

"faced, juiced up, mullered, rat arsed!" Harry joined in "Well if I'm all those things your worse Miss Granger!" He waggled a finger at her and she stuck her tongue out.

"Ah Harry, when did it happen?" she said swallowing another shot of Vodka "When did our happily ever after just dis-" she hiccupped "Disappear."

Harry sighed picking up two wine glasses and pouring the rest of the Rosie wine into it.

"I don't know love. Everything was supposed to be wonderful; it shouldn't be this hard should it?" Hermione shook her head as she drained the glass of wine.

"It shouldn't!" she squealed and Harry too emptied his glass. "Ron and I shouldn't be fighting all the time, sex shouldn't be a chore and well I should actually love him."

"You don't love Ron?" Harry asked and she sighed.

"I don't know. I love him as a friend but our relationship is so rigid that I'm beginning wonder if there's anything more there." She explained.

"Oh." Was all Harry could muster.

"I shouldn't be telling you this." She said all of a sudden sounding sad. "It's because I'm drunk, very very drunk!"

"Yes you are." Harry laughed trying to lighten the mood again "So lets dance!"

"Dance?" Hermione questioned him "You don't dance."

"Well tonight I do!" he told her emptying half the remaining bottle of tequila and dragging her to her feet. He pointed to the Cd player with his wand and it burst into life. For a while it played endless up beat songs and Hermione rather enjoyed the way Harry shook his hips and Harry definitely liked the way she accidentally bumped up against him. Finally a slower song came on and Harry offered his hand.

"Milady." He said bowing gracefully even when drunk. She gave him a small curtsy and took his hand with hers and wrapped the other round his neck. After a few second the space between them had disappeared and again they found themselves locked in each others gaze as they danced. Harry felt a familiar sensation creep over him as Hermione's slender frame pressed against his chest and his heart beat so loud he swore she would hear it. He again felt the urge to taste those lips that looked so warm and pink and inviting. He put it down to the bravado the alcohol had given him but he swore he wouldn't be scared this time. Leaning ever so slightly he placed the softest of kisses on her lips. He was sure she'd reject him, ask him what the hell he thought he was doing and tell him to leave before he done something that he regretted – so imagine his surprise when she started to kiss him back.

Hermione hadn't expected it. One minute they were dancing the next he kissed her. Somewhere in the back of her mind a little box she had put away came bursting open and all her old feelings of desire and more than just platonic love were free. So obviously she kissed him back and it felt in Hermione Grangers expert opinion; damn good, almost right.

Harry slid a hand to the small of her back and pulled her closer to him as the kiss deepened. She groaned when he slipped his tongue into her mouth exploring every nook and cranny. Hermione ran a hand through his black locks and pressed herself against his muscular body as the kissing continued. She gasped a little when she felt the pulse of his erection against her thigh. Harry moved a hand up her waist and gently began to massage her breast through the thin silk negligee and smiled when she shivered in arousal.

She knew she should stop it but she'd never been kissed like this before, with such passion and devotion – it was mesmerising. He groaned when she brushed her hand over his erection on its way to his chest. Then suddenly she broke away.

"Harry…" she breathed.

"Shhh." He told her and for once in her life Hermione Granger didn't argue.

He couldn't stop himself as he began to leave a trail of kisses down her neck and collar bone, one hand still massaging her breast the other creeping up her thigh. She moaned a little when he stopped to suck on a particular sensitive spot she never knew she had.

"Bedroom…" she managed to pant out as her eyelids fluttered in pleasure. He nodded and kissed her again. This time she jumped up on him wrapping her legs around his waist as he they made their way out of the living room and into the bedroom. When they got there Harry set her down on the bed and moved on top of her. She grabbed at his shirt and ripped it open sending buttons flying everywhere and soon it was discarded on the floor. Eagerly he pulled down her shorts and she helped him still kissing passionately. With them discarded he was granted better access to her inside thigh which he began stroking gently. He moved his hand higher and higher and…

"Oh good lord." She mumbled as he skimmed his fingers over her cotton knickers. Harry pulled at the fabric of her underwear and they slid down like her shorts. He was eager to regain the 'oh good lord status' and taking her by surprise slipped a finger inside. He heard her groan and smiled.

Hermione's mind swam with dizzy pleasure as Harry's fingers moved in and out of her. It was like nothing she had ever felt before – it was like she was a virgin all over again and everything was new. Over and over his fingers worked tirelessly while the other hand snuck underneath her negligee and massaged her breasts. Harry seemed to be everywhere at once, his lips kissing her and his hands touching her, driving her senses wild. She sensed she was going to come but decided she wanted to do it with him inside her.

"Harry.." she breathed "I'm, I'm going to…" but she never finished as all of a sudden her orgasm hit her. It was like every nerve ending in her body was hit by some wonderful hammer of pleasure. She let out a louder moan than she ever had and rode the wave of her orgasm. When it was finished she decided she would very much like to have that again with Harry inside her so eagerly she began to unclasp his jeans.

Understanding where she was going he helped her and slipped down his boxers too. His erection was now painfully awaiting her and seeing how she reacted to his hands drove him wild. He was so desperate for release but knew there was a lot more he wanted to give. He still hadn't seen all of her still hadn't viewed those magnificent breasts. So without warning he pulled her negligee over her head and immediately began to leave a trail of kisses down her body. And what a gorgeous body she had. Her flat stomach, round perfectly sized breasts and slender legs made him ache even more and he couldn't stand it anymore. He had to be inside her. Positioning himself in between her he entered her groaning when he felt her tight warmth around him. He began to thrust slowly at first while fondling her breasts and taking one in his mouth. He sucked gently on it which made her squirm in delight underneath him and grind her hips against his. It took all his self control not to explode right away. Their breathing became more ragged as Harry's thrusts increased. Hermione moved with him urging him deeper and deeper inside her, she could feel another climax coming fast. Harry too was close to the edge and with one final thrust he exploded inside her taking them both to a new place of pleasure neither one had ever been.

They lay still for a few seconds, Harry pressing gently on top of Hermione and both panting. As the last wave of their orgasms subsided Harry rolled off her and with a contented smile drifted of to a satisfied drunken stupor.

Hermione lay on her back for a few minutes contemplating what had happened. She decided – in her drunkenness – that it was a good thing and that it was inevitable the way their relationship had been going. So yawning herself she leant over and kissed him on the cheek and even though she knew he wouldn't hear her now, she hoped someday he might and she whispered softly in his ear.

"I love you." And sleep overcame Hermione too.

_A/N - Well what did you all think? I wasn't completely happy with it and rewrote it like twice but I think this is about the best I can do since my characters are DRUNK! I may or may not have__ based the drunken banter on my own experiences ahem well I tend to laugh at everything when I'm sloshed so yeah…_

_Well comments/criticisms are welcome and would be especially helpful in this chapter since I did find it the hardest to write so far! So what I'm trying to say is REVIEW! Please? _

_Performanceaddict _

_xxx_

_P.s I am also in the market for a beta so if your interested add me on msn or message me or something - msn in on the profile! _


	6. Chapter 6

_Hey guys! Sorry for the delay, it was very cruel for me to keep you waiting after that last chapter! My excuse is simply life. College has been hectic, added with extra shifts from work, dancing, stage school and three Halloween parties – none of which were on Halloween :s__, I went as Tomb Raider! hehe - and a new man prospect I've not had much time to write! Hopefully that will change! Anyways enjoy and review!_

_**Chapter 6**_

Hermione snuggled closer to the warm body next to her. At that precise moment she was entangled with it; her arms were around its waist, her face buried in its chest and her legs intertwined with it but she still did not feel close enough. She was almost awake but not completely, she was hovering in between that glorious place between consciousness and sleep, the place you are before the hangover hits you. When she did rejoin the land of the living the headache hit her like a monkey driven jeep – fast painful and unexpected. She groaned pulling herself tighter to the sleeping body. Then the thought occurred to her as to who the sleeping body was. It wasn't Ron that's for sure; he never really let her lye on him or wrapped his arms around her in this way. Her eyelids fluttered open and she saw the mass of black locks. For a moment it didn't register.

"Oh shit!" she cursed as the previous nights events came back to her in flashes. The semi-lethal amount of alcohol she had consumed, talking with Harry, which had led to dancing with Harry, which had led to kissing Harry which had led to…

"Oh dear lord…" she said – for a very different reason this time – jumping from the bed and grabbing her clothes that were scattered on the floor. She ran into the bathroom hyperventilating and slid down the door closing it with a thud. She had slept with Harry. She had actually done the unthinkable and shagged her best friend. No, not just her best friend, her boyfriends best friend too. This was bad. This was very very bad indeed.

Shaking, she slowly stood up and splashed some cold water on her face. When she had lost the nausea in the pit of her stomach she re-entered the bedroom and dumped her clothes into the laundry hamper. Her eye wandered over to Harry's sleeping body. He had turned on his side in Hermione's absence and lay comfortably, snuggled close to his pillow. Hermione couldn't help but feel jealously for that pillow and wished more than anything that she could be in its place. She shook these thoughts away; she was supposed to be feeling a sickening regret and horror at her actions. Why then when she stood there gazing at his muscular body that was intertwined in her bed sheets had she felt strangely satisfied?

Sighing she wrapped a fuzzy blue housecoat round herself and wandered into the living room. She was at a loss at what to do with herself and her mind was plagued with thoughts of how Harry would react. She decided that a nice cup of coffee would help take her mind of things. But as she put the kettle on her head still buzzed. Would he take it badly? Would things be awkward? Would they go back to their old relationship before they started having lunch together? The distant one of not really knowing each other. Would he tell Ginny or worse Ron? Would he blame her? The nausea came rushing back to her as she poured the hot water into the mug creating the brown liquid. Then an interesting thought drifted into her mind. What if he didn't regret it? What if he decided it was a good thing? She pushed theses musings out. That would never happen. Even though they had become so close these past few weeks he still saw her only as a friend. She was sure he only thought of her as the bushy haired book worm that had saved his ass so many times it wasn't funny. She sipped the coffee and didn't even flinch as it burned her tongue. She hadn't even heard Harry enter the room.

"Hey…" he said groggily and she jumped slightly. He stood there shirtless but somehow his boxers had appeared on again. Hermione fought back the giddy lurch in her stomach.

"Morning." She said quietly not baring to look at him anymore. She was terrified what she would see in his eyes.

"God 'Mione how much did we drink last night? My head is fucking killing me!" he exclaimed.

"Ehh quite a lot…" she replied and he shook his head.

"Well it must have been a bloody illegal amount, I slept like a rock." He told her pouring himself a cup of coffee "Where did you sleep by the way?"

Hermione was confused. She knew she should say the obvious thing which was beside him but something kept her back. Harry was acting too calm.

"Oh and I'm sorry for anything I said last night…I probably made a complete arse of myself! Don't remember much. I hope I didn't talk crap all night and bore you to tears." He said laughing a little and Hermione's eyes widened.

So he didn't remember a thing. Everything that they had shared. The secrets they had told each other, the jokes they had cracked….the sex…

Hermione knew she should remind him. Set him straight so they both could get past what happened but she bit her tongue, perhaps it would be easier if he didn't remember.

"Eh well it was quite a night." She began blushing slightly "How much can you remember?"

"Pffft, fighting with Ginny and buying the alcohol; coming over and opening the Vodka and that's about it." He laughed.

"Yeah you were a bit distraught about your fight with Ginny but we worked it all out with large amounts of alcohol." She said trying her best to bite back tears.

"Sounds like fun, what else did we do?" he asked.

"That was about it." She told him shuffling nervously. She knew she had to get out of the room or she'd give herself away. It wouldn't take him long to figure out something wasn't right. "Well anyway love, I've got to go shower or I'm going to be late for work. Help yourself to some more coffee and the shockingly bare contents of my fridge." She said almost sickeningly brightly. "You can let yourself out yeah?"

However she didn't wait around for answer but marched straight past him and into her bathroom again. She bit her lip hard and began to take deep breaths in a desperate effort to force back tears. She turned the shower on and the hot water crashed from the high faucet into the bathtub in a deafening roar. She suddenly felt hot and sick in the housecoat and shoved it off stepping mercilessly into the almost scalding water. She let it flow over her and she couldn't stop herself from crying this time. She broke down. The water mixed with her raging tears and they wouldn't stop. She supposed out of all the outcomes this hurt the most. She felt unimportant, used and dirty. She had cheated on her boyfriend with someone who hadn't even remembered the encounter the next day. Yes he had been drunk but not to remember any of what Hermione would never forget stung. She had hurt people she loved probably irreparably and brought up long buried feelings all for nothing. The water washed away her hope and a little bit of her soul with the tears and they disappeared down the drain.

--

Harry sat on Hermione's couch with his coffee cup in one hand and his eyes closed. The headache was making him slightly dizzy and he sighed at the amount of alcohol he must have consumed last night. The previous day had been a complete blur and it was mostly black after that first shot of vodka or tequila – he wasn't sure which had came first. He wished he could remember what had happened. He had a feeling it was more than Hermione had let on, he must have said something to upset her or something that had made her awkward around him because she was defiantly acting strange. Also he was confused as to why his boxers were on backwards. He really hoped he hadn't attempted a strip tease or anything of that sort – how embarrassing would that be?

"_Well maybe if Hermione had done it too…" _he mused mischievously. He shook his head; he wasn't supposed to be thinking like that.

He heard the shower click on from her bathroom and thought he should probably finish his coffee and get to work or he was going to get an earful from Lodgeville. He gathered up his clothes from the bedroom and groaned when he saw his reflection in Hermione's mirror. There were large black circles round his eyes and he was unshaven. Not a great look in his opinion. Rubbing his eyes from tiredness he dressed himself. He had a feeling it was going to be a long long day. He had no idea.

_Well that's that? Anyone see that coming? Probably! Don't worry he will remember so please put down the tomatoes or in our more violent cases the pitchforks and just be patient. Will try to update by __Friday since I have two days of college whoooo! I love show time and messed up rehearsal schedules! But no promises so it mite be Sunday. _

_Reviews as always would be nice and appreciated I could always do with a few plot twists… and some ego building! _

_Lovins!_

_Performanceaddict _

_Xxx_

_p.s Happy Halloween! _


	7. Chapter 7

_Hey! I pleased to announce I have reached __my 50__th__ review! Whoooo! It makes me so happy! So a special mention to Ellisguy who was lucky number 50 – thanks to everyone who got me there though with your inspiring words lol!! And also to __dynonugget who hit the nail on the head with where I was going with this chapter. Her review also made me think about it more which sparked off new ideas for your reading enjoyment. Oooo and it's my longest chapter to make up for my delay:)_

_Anyway on with the chapter!_

_**Chapter 7**_

Ginny Weasley lay back in the bed with a contented smile on her face. It felt good to blow off work every now and again – especially when she would be doing this. Looking back she didn't really know how it started. One day something inside her just said 'go for it' and she had. It wasn't that Harry didn't satisfy her – Merlin knows he was good at that- but it was more that he bored her. He bored her with his love and his puppy dog eyes and his commitment. She was only twenty four after all she didn't want to settle down and be the good little housewife just yet – but then again she didn't want to get rid of the _chosen one's girlfriend_ status either.

So instead of leaving Harry she started the affair with Dean, then Cormic, then Martin who worked with her father and there was the one night with Draco Malfoy but she had used a concealing charm to change her appearance and they were both very drunk…

Still all this sex was good for a girl's ego. It didn't really matter to her or cross her mind how much it would hurt Harry if he ever found out. If being the imperative word. She supposed in a few years she'd stop all this skulking around and just bloody marry Harry like everyone expected her to do. In reality it would suit her fine, she could live out her life as the wife of the boy-who-lived and enjoy all the rewards that presented and of course his rather large fortune.

For now however there was only one boy on her mind and that was the one sucking at her neck.

"Ginny…" Dean murmured through the kisses.

"Mmmm?" she questioned.

"When are you going to leave him?" he asked her, trying to sound seductive at the same time. Immediately she pulled her neck away from his mouth. She looked at him sternly and folded her arms.

"I've told you it's not that easy." She said coldly.

"What do you mean it's not that easy?! It's not as if you two are engaged or anything." He said sitting away from her.

"Yeah well it's complicated!" Ginny snapped at him standing up and beginning to gather her clothes from the hotel floor. Dean leaned back on the bed in contempt and crossed him arms over his muscular body.

"No it's not really!" he told her hotly as she shoved on her robes "You just want to have your cake and eat it too! You want me but want the _prestige _of being Harry bloody Potters girlfriend…even at school you were the same. I swore you only dated me back then to make him jealous!"

"Dean you're being ridiculous, the thing we have is good, why ruin it?"

He harrumphed in protest and she gave him a stern look. "Well if you feel that way then find someone else to skip practice with!"

She gave him one last glare and turned, severely irritated, disheveled and whole unsatisfied on her heel.

"_Fuck!" _Harry mentally shouted at himself _"You know this!" _

He sat his wooden desk like the other twenty Aurors in his year chewing frantically on his quill. How he loathed surprise quizzes – especially when it was on the riveting subject of Merlin's battle tactics that were so out dated no one on their right mind would ever try to use them. Harry sighed. He just couldn't concentrate. The hangover had still not left him; indeed it had gotten worse as the day progressed. He yawned and dropped his quill hopelessly just as the egg timer at the front of the room ran out. He and the rest of the budding black magic fighters grudgingly gathered their things and exited the room. The consensus all round was that was an impossible test. Even without the hangover Harry doubted that he would have been able to answer much more than the half a dozen questions he had attempted. He took off his glasses and rubbed his eyes and bridge of his nose in frustration. He was sure last night must have been worth this – after all he had spent it with Hermione. He just wished he could remember more of it. And well you know the old saying; be careful what you wish for.

"Oh dear lord…" Was the phrase that brought a flash into his mind - "That was absolutely hellish!" Continued a blonde girl called Emily in front of him. At first only an echo of a voice lingered in his ears. He wasn't sure whose it was at first and was then even more puzzled when he realized he vaguely remembered Hermione say it. He was about to shrug it off when her face came sliding into his head. Her cheeks pink from the alcohol and her hazel eyes so close to his; her soft plump lips that he moved ever closer to and finally touched with his own in an electrifying moment of passion. He racked his brains trying to remember what happened next but it was still all a blur.

Harry's stomach sunk to his feet. That's why she had been acting so weird. He had kissed her and she had to refuse him and now she was too embarrassed by it to be around him. He didn't know what stung most the fact he may have messed up a fifteen year long friendship or that she had most probably rejected him.

"Idiot!" he said smacking himself on the head.

"Now, now Potter I'm sure you didn't do that bad and anyway you're still Lodgeville's golden boy!" Said Malfoy from behind him.

"What?" Harry questioned irritably.

"The test…"

"Oh right." Harry mumbled. "Tell Lodgeville I won't be in this afternoon, I'm taking a personal day."

Without any other explanation Harry apparated away. Malfoy shrugged his shoulders not even pretending he remotely understood the inner workings of Harry Potter's mind.

That was it. There was only one thing for it. He would have to face Hermione. He had to go over there with his tail between his legs and apologize for the kiss – even if he did rather enjoy it. However he felt and looked like hell so he decided that he would have to shower first. When he got back to his flat the only thing on his mind was getting cleaned up. But it wasn't to be so. Waiting for him for once was Ginny.

"Hey hun." She said kissing him on the cheek. "I didn't expect you home this early."

"Yeah wasn't feeling great…" he mumbled. Harry still hadn't forgotten last night's fight.

"Look I'm sorry about last night; I cancelled the training session with Dean on Thursday. I was being stupid; of course we can spend our anniversary together." She said sweetly draping her arms around his neck. "Forgive me?"

Harry was taken aback. He hadn't seen Ginny act this lovingly in months. He remembered this was what he loved about her. How she could turn his awful mood the other way in second and how he could never stay mad at her. All of a sudden he felt guilty for kissing Hermione and the amount of time he spent with her. He also noticed how little Ginny was wearing – but surprisingly felt nothing. She donned green satin nightdress that ended a good few inches above her knee and flat slippers. He nodded at her sheepishly. He couldn't say no to her when she acted like this, it was almost like it used to be. Almost.

"Are you sure you weren't expecting me home?" he questioned raising an eyebrow at her attire. She giggled in response and to his surprise it annoyed his slightly. Funny her laugh never used to irritate him.

"I came home early and was going to plan a better surprise but I think this will suffice don't you." Ginny said trying to put on a somewhat sexy voice. She stood on her tiptoes and began to nibble her way up Harry's neck. Normally this would have made Harry wild with lust – strangely not today.

"Ehh yeah…" he said half heartedly. He was trying to be turned on he really was but nothing was happening. He blamed it on the hangover.

Ginny left his neck and planted a rough kiss on his lips. Harry kissed her back and she moaned in response and he found himself a little irritated that she enjoyed it so much and he didn't. Ginny deepened the kiss and pressed her skinny frame against him but still Harry felt nothing – well maybe actually slightly queasy.

Then it hit him. It was like a fog had been lifted – or an obliviation spell. He suddenly remembered what had happened after Hermione had kissed him and pressed her beautiful body against his. He hadn't felt queasy or awkward. He had felt elated and she kissed back. He suddenly had visions of frantic kissing and bed sheets flying. The glorious night they spent together had come flooding back like it had never left – it was strange that his lack of attraction for Ginny had brought it all home again. Then his stomach sank. Why hadn't Hermione told him? He had a right to know! What had happened had been wonderful but it was still a mistake – a mistake that could ruin both their lives. She should have told him, should have warned him. He was overcome with a mixture of guilt, anger and a strange new yearning for Hermione. He had to see her now. Immediately he pushed Ginny away and she pouted at him in confusion.

"What's wrong?" she asked.

"Er…I…I…I've got to em go!" he sputtered out.

"What? Right this second?" Ginny said hotly.

"Sorry." Harry said to her but more out of habit than genuine feeling. "I'll be home later."

And with that he was gone and Ginny for the second time that day was left unsatisfied.

Harry banged on Hermione's door furiously. He had to see her, had to lay eyes on her beautiful face once more. Being with Hermione was so passionate, so raw it was indescribable. She had made him feel more wanted in one night than Ginny had in years. He supposed that's why his body hadn't reacted to Ginny's kissing – it had tasted Hermione and wanted more. At the same time however he was furious with her. This was a bad situation and she knew better than to keep something like this from him. He expected more from his best friend.

"Hermione!" he yelled pounding on the door again. "Open up!"

He waited a few seconds but no answer or sense of movement came from within. He sighed and flopped annoyed against the door.

"It's me Harry…" he called a little quieter. Still silence. He shook his head. She must have gone to work or maybe she was avoiding him. An icy cold feeling in the bottom of his stomach appeared. Maybe she thought he had taken advantage of her and couldn't stand the sight of him. What he had done had probably hurt her too. He acted as if nothing had happened this morning – given because he thought nothing did – maybe she had taken his confusion as rejection. It made him sick to think he had hurt her in anyway. She was his Hermione, his best friend and now for one night at least his lover. At that point he didn't know if he wanted to kiss her or scream at her. His mind was buzzing with a million different emotions. He sighed miserably and tapped his forehead lightly against the door.

"'Mione please if you're in there…"

No answer. He turned around and began to hopelessly drag himself away from her door but froze in his tracks when he heard her voice.

"Harry?"

Sitting there with the sunlight flitting through the bathroom window Hermione decided she defiantly wasn't going to work that day. She had been there every day she was supposed to for three years and she decided she deserved a day off. In reality she hadn't moved from her crouched position on the floor since she heard Harry leave. The tears had stopped but the pain was still there and she didn't know if she could move. It had been hours and her muscles had cramped up so badly everything ached. All she could think about was him. She couldn't go back to the way things were before she just couldn't!

She was lost in thought when she finally heard the pounding on the door. Slowly getting up and cursing her sore limbs she made her way to the door. She froze when she heard Harry's voice. He was back and by the sounds of it not happy. Had he remembered? He sounded angry and for a moment Hermione considered not letting him in and pretending she wasn't home. Until she heard him plead. She couldn't say no to him. It wasn't possible. His sad sounding voice was so full on need she just had to open the door. The pounding had stopped as she twisted the knob her heart racing and the door swung open.

"Harry?" she called softly to the retreating figure and he turned around slowly.

He didn't say anything but merely let his emerald eyes scan over her. His face was a mixture of emotions. She saw anger and guilt and maybe even a little lust thrown in – well she secretly hoped. He continued to stare at her for another few moments.

"So you remember…" she said softly glueing her eyes to the floor. Hermione stood aside as he walked into the apartment. His fists were tensed and his jaw clenched like he was trying to stop himself from crying or exploding. She didn't need to guess what he was feeling because she was feeling it too. She closed the door softly with a click.

Still in silence he paced up and down the small space in the hall staring at the floor. Eventually he stopped and stared transfixed at a spot on the wall. Hermione wanted went to reach out to him but thought better of it when he suddenly brought his fist hurling into the wall. He grunted in pain and finally turned round to face her. Most of the anger had gone and now he just looked helpless and disorientated. He did what instinct told him to do – look to Hermione for help. Gently she placed a hand on his cheek and he covered it with his own. They were once again locked in each others eyes and only inches apart.

He broke the gaze unable to look at her anymore. How could he have been so angry with her? He was the idiot. They shared something wonderful last night and he hadn't even remembered it. He couldn't face those loving brown eyes, he didn't deserve to in his mind. Hermione however was not having it. She placed another hand below his chin and brought his gaze back up to meet her own. He heard her sigh as they moved closer and swore he saw her smile before bringing his lips crashing down to meet hers.

_Okay it's a day later than I said it would be but damn this was a hard chapter to write! I had it finished by Saturday but re read it and totally was not happy at all with it – that and I forgot a major piece of plot! Haha… _

_Yeah so I'm still not 100 ecstatic with it but who ever is with their writing?_

_Must say that the end bit is my favourite tbh and I hope I managed to get all of what Harry was feeling in there. Look for more smut in the next chapter. Hoping for maybe fridayish? Reviews would be loverly! – sorry been watching my fairy lady! Lol_

_Performanceaddict_

_x_


	8. Chapter 8

_Again a warning! This chapter contains sex! No likey no readey! Got it?_

_Thanks so much for all the lovely reviews so far they brighten my day! _

_Here it is enjoy!_

_**Chapter 8**_

Hermione laced her fingers through Harry's black locks as they staggered once more through the threshold of her bedroom kissing passionately. The kiss was so strong, looking back she didn't really recall how her silky red negligee had again been discarded. All she could concentrate was how right it felt to be kissing Harry. When he had left that morning he had taken a part with her, the rejection had almost crushed her but now she felt like she could breathe again. She wanted to laugh and cry at the same time. It was a strange feeling.

Harry felt the same too as he undid the belt buckle of his jeans letting them drop to his ankles. All the anger he had felt towards her had disappeared the moment she had placed that hand on his cheek and looked at him with those exquisite chocolate eyes. He needed her and that was all there was to it. At that moment Harry felt he would die right there and then if he didn't have her.

They reached the bed and Hermione sat on his lap straddling him. Harry hauled his shirt off and groaned when he felt Hermione's bare skin connect with his chest. It drove him wild when she nibbled on his earlobe and giggled in a most un-Hermione-like way. Until last night he had never really seen the sexy outgoing side of her. Never in a million years would he have imagined that he would ever be doing this with his best friend. In fact if a few years ago you would have said that Hermione Granger would one day be grinding against him nibbling his earlobe he would have either smacked you or laughed at you.

Hermione turned her attention from Harry's earlobe back to his mouth. She loved the taste of him, the smoothness of his lips and the deepness of his kisses. She could feel him already hard against her thigh. Hermione had never felt this sort of connection and yearning when she was with Ron. But right this second her mind was not on Ronald Weasley at all.

In one skilful motion Harry grabbed her waist and spun them both over so he was now once again on top. She arched her hips up to meet his and he cursed the man who ever invented boxers. With a wicked grin they too were removed. He gazed at her for a moment. She had a sheepish smile on her face but there was something else there. Shyness? Embarrassment? Guilt? Harry knew how she was feeling. The previous night they could always deny as a drunken mistake, never to be repeated and they could perhaps have a chance at a normal friendship. However if they carried on, things could never be the same. He looked into her warm eyes and saw what she wanted. What she needed and it was the same as him. Kissing her deeply he spread her legs gently with his knee and entered her. She felt even better than before. Her hot wetness enveloped him and they both moaned aloud at the contact. He stopped kissing her and held her gaze as he began to thrust.

Harry started slow – feeling that as he was intoxicated he didn't give his best performance the previous night – making the thrusts in an even drawn out rhythm. Hermione looked straight into his bottle green eyes, not blinking once. Her mouth was still etched in that half smile but had lost all sense of shyness. Her face was now immersed in complete pleasure.

As Harry's thrusts became quicker and deeper Hermione arched her back and ground her hips against him. He was sure he saw a flicker of a smirk cross her face when he groaned aloud. Harry's breathing became more rapid and so did his thrusts. He wasn't sure how much longer he could hold out but he wanted to make sure Hermione came with him. He left one hand where it was for support but let the other roam around her body. Gently he traced the curves of her hips and stomach making her shiver. He did this for a few minutes making her giggle slightly due to ticklishness. Finally he let his hand cup her breast and circled her nipple with his thumb. She in return ran her hands through his hair and gripped tightly onto his back. Harry swore he would have scratch marks the next morning. He could feel her getting close now too and increased his thrusts. Harder and quicker he pounded; sweat beginning to appear on his brow from trying to hold back. Then with one final thrust he heard a loud moan escape her lips and her muscles contract around him and he too let go. With a moan of his own he let his seed spill into her once again and pressed gently down on top of her in exhaustion. He rolled off of her and lay back against the cool pillow. When they had both settled themselves underneath the covers she moved next to him and he immediately put an arm around her. He smiled to himself when his face became immersed in a bunch of brown curls underneath his nose. They smelled like strawberries. How he loved strawberries. She snuggled closer to him and entwined a smooth let with his. Just as he was about to fall asleep she spoke.

"Harry…" she began "Maybe…maybe we should talk about this."

"We probably should." He said not opening his eyes. "But not now. Sleep first, rational thought later."

"It can't even be half six yet…" she sighed.

"But we were up half the night." He said with small chuckle to himself.

"That's true. So the logical thing to do would be to sleep…." She said yawning.

"Mmmm." He murmured in agreement. If she said anything else Harry didn't hear it because he had drifted off into the best sleep of his life.

--

Harry hadn't really ever watched anyone sleep before. He'd _noticed _people sleeping of course, like when Ron used to fall asleep in lessons and then there was the numerous times he would wake up in the middle of the night with Ginny snoring and grunting away beside him. That's why he found it so strange that he would enjoy actually enjoy watching Hermione Granger sleep. He was fascinated by the way her chest moved gracefully up and down and found it adorable how her mouth was curved in a contented smile. He felt as if he could watch her for days on end.

He had been up for a while but decided it was too early to even consider moving. That's when he had noticed the beautiful sleeping woman next to him and had been not stopped studying her. Suddenly he heard her sigh.

"That's quite creepy that you're watching me sleep." Hermione said without even opening her eyes.

"Is not!" he replied in mock hurt and she gave a soft laugh and opened her eyes. After a few moments of staring back at him she propped herslef up into a sitting position. When she realised he was still staring she hit him playfully on the arm.

"What prey tell are you looking at?"

"You…" he told her and she rolled her eyes.

"Oh how exciting for you." She said sarcastically "Must be riveti-"

But she was cut off by a soft kiss.

"It is." He said and she flushed a deep shade of pink. After a moment of awkward silence Hermione finally drew her eyes away from the sheets.

"Fancy some breakfast?" she said chirpily.

"I'd love some."

She nodded at him and gave him a quick kiss on the forehead before jumping out of bed. She grabbed the nearest item of clothing she could find, which just happened to be Harry's shirt and slipped it on. Harry sighed as she walked away from him. The way her hips swayed gently from side to side was mesmerising and the fact that she was wearing his shirt made her even sexier. He lay back against the cool bedspread and smiled to himself. He knew the feelings of guilt would come but for now, right this second he was happier than he had been in a long time. Harry let a few minutes pass and listened to Hermione footer about in the kitchen before getting out of bed. When he arrived in the kitchen clad only in his boxers he slipped an arm around Hermione's waist as she was buttering toast and rested his head on her shoulder. He swore he could almost feel her grin and so gave her bum a squeeze under his shirt and she giggled.

Hermione abandoned the toast at that point and turned around to face him. Not a bone in her body regretted her decision last night or the night before and looking deep into his bottle green eyes confirmed that. He leaned forward as she draped her arms around the back of his neck and he kissed her. It stared soft and gentle at first but became deeper and Hermione groaned as Harry let his hand wander beneath the shirt.

"If you're not careful I may have to take you right here on this counter Mr Potter." She said in a sultry way and Harry raised an eyebrow. This naughty side of Hermione was completely new and he decided he loved it.

"Oh really? That sounds like an interesting proposition Miss Granger." He said almost in a whisper as he left soft kisses down her neck.

Hermione felt herself become aroused again as he lifted her effortlessly onto the top of the counter to gain better access to her chest. She shivered as he began to ever so slowly move one hand up the inside of her thigh and unbutton the shirt with the other. However he had barely undone three when there was a rap at the door. Hermione groaned in annoyance as Harry undone another button and started to caress her breast with his mouth.

"Leave it…" he said through the kisses and tightened his grip on her inner thigh.

"I…I have to get it." She panted as he brushed a finger over her entrance.

"Are you sure?" he whispered seductively and swirled his tongue around her hard nipple. She moaned aloud and desperately wanted to yell at the person at the door to fuck the hell off.

"Are you really sure?" He asked her as he left her breast and he kissed down her flat stomach going lower and lower. He pulled her to the edge of the counter to get better access and despite her fleeting protests spread her legs.

"Harry…" she said huskily trying desperately to ignore the glorious sensations going on in her nether regions. Finally her reached her core and skilfully slipped his tongue into her hot wetness.

"Oh Merlin!" she cried as his tongue darted in and out. She gripped the counter hard to stop her from squirming as he continued his delicate work. Over and over again he licked and twisted lapping up her juices. It was like nothing she had ever experienced before. Ron had never really explored oral sex with her and she was definitely sorry she had missed out. She moaned as Harry flicked his tongue over her clit and she could feel herself nearing a climax. She was so close and Harry was relentless in his attack. After only a few minutes her orgasm came crashing over her.

"Harry!" she panted breathlessly as the last waves of her climax receded. "Where on earth did you learn to do that?"

He smiled at her cockily but somehow endearingly and lifted her off the counter and into his arms once more. He then drew her in for a long kiss and she could taste herself in his mouth – she decided there was something terrible sexy about that. However her joy was disturbed by yet another louder bang on the door. She pushed him gently away.

"I really have to get that." She told him and exited from the kitchen. Harry followed closely behind and saw her tiptoe to look through the peephole giving him and exquisite view of her backside. Then her face paled and he knew something was wrong.

"Wh-what is it?" he asked shakily seeing her discomfort and was that maybe terror?

"It…it's Ron."

_So what did you all think? Tis a tad shorter than last time but I struggled at the start to write this but I love the ending for some reason! And this was mostly sex and no plot so naturally there wasn't much padding out._

_I was going to have Hermione run out on that little excursion in the middle then I though…hmm would any girl ever be able to resist? I think not! Lol_

_Hope you liked_

_Reviews are as always very much appreciated!_

_Performanceaddict_

_x_


	9. Chapter 9

Hey guys! Right well I have planned out my chapters and we've reached the half way stage! Sooo whooo! On the down side this chapter is short! I had a massive writers block on it and its another one of those filler ones. The next one will be a goodie though. Anyways hope you like!

_**Chapter 9**_

"Shit!" Hermione cursed as quietly as she could. "Harry you need to hide! Quick into the bathroom." She told him and grabbed her wand from the table.

"Materialis." She said frantically and Harry's shirt transformed into a smart blouse and skirt, well to anyone else in the room. In reality she was still only in a shirt.

"Just a minute!" she called as there was yet another knock from Ron. With another flick of her wand she levitated the rest of Harry's clothes that were scattered around and sent them flying through the bathroom door to meet him. Harry was a bit disgruntled at having a sock hit him in the face so early in the morning. From the other side of the door she could hear Ron getting impatient. With a quick look in the mirror she decided she didn't look too dishevelled if she kept this little visit short and sweet enough for him not to notice. With a final check that her bathroom door was closed she undid the deadbolt in the front door.

Ron stood awkwardly shuffling his feet in the doorway.

"Ron, what are you doing here?" Hermione asked and Ron blinked back at her.

"I erm well…I just wanted to…apologise for the other night. I was a bit of an arse and I've not…well eh heard from you in a few days…" He stuttered out and Hermione folded her arms and gave him a disapproving look.

"Well I appreciate the gesture but-"  
"I did have flowers but when I apparated over here they umm splinched." He said quickly and Hermione sighed "Please let me make it up to you?"

"Fine…" She said exasperated "But not right this second I'm in the middle of getting ready for work." She said terrified he'd try to come in.

"Have dinner with me then! Tonight!" he said taking her hands.

"I…I…don't know if I…" she stammered.

"Come on 'Mione. I know we've…" he began his voice quavering "I know we've been having some problems but I'm trying here I really am."

"I know Ron, I know…" she said gently. "It's just I may have some paper work to finish off tonight." She told him and he gave her the puppy dog eyes again. Strange they were easier to resist but not completely ineffective. "Tomorrow?"

Ron nodded enthusiastically and gave her a quick peck on the cheek. Hermione's stomach sank to her feet – yep there was that feeling of guilt.

"Well I'd better let you get ready for work. I'll pick you up tomorrow then?" he said and she nodded not really able to look at him. "Oh and did you have the T.O on?"

"TO? Oh the TV Ron." She said with a laugh "No, why?"

"I thought I heard shouting that's all." He said shaking his head.

"Eh…it…was the…the...the radio!" she stammered "Yes I had the radio on."

"Oh okay. Well I'll see you later." Ron mumbled and gave her a rough kiss and left. Hermione closed the door and slid down it in relief just as the magical charm wore off and she was once more wearing only Harry's shirt. Harry came out of the bathroom and stared at his shoes. An awkward silence drifted over them. The reality of what they were doing had hit home. Their little bubble popped.

"That was a close call…" Harry said finally.

"Yeah it was." Hermione replied quietly.

"What did he want?" he asked

"He wants to take me to dinner tomorrow night. To make up for how he's been acting. He seemed really sincere." Hermione explained looking at the floor.

A wave of jealousy came over Harry. He didn't want Hermione to be with Ron, the thought of him touching her made him sick. Harry gulped

"Are you going?" he asked and she nodded.

"He wanted it to be tonight but I gave him the paper work excuse…" Hermione said quietly.

"And do…" Harry began "Do you have any paper work."

"I don't think so." She said almost inaudible. "I just didn't know if I'd be busy with erm other things." She muttered.

"Like busy with me?" he asked finally glad to get the question out that had been hanging over them. It was almost like asking where they went from here.

"Well no...you have things and I have…" she mumbled and then shook her head and sighed "Yes with you." She said and looked him straight in the eye. He gave her a bright smile.

"Good." He said elated "Now where were we?"

She giggled and she swooped her up in his arms and once more carried her to the bedroom.

--

Harry and Hermione made love twice before finally agreeing that they had to go to work. They made plans to have dinner at Hermione's that night and well see where the night took them – and it held no surprises or disappointment, although the meal was mostly abandoned.

They had come to a silent agreement that things between them would never and could never be the same. But they hadn't discussed future plans so whenever the subject of Ron and Ginny came creeping up they pushed it aside not that there was a huge amount of conversation between them that night. But when morning arrived it seemed that there could be no avoiding the god damn redheaded family. Hermione awoke in Harry's arms to a soft clicking sound on the window. Grudgingly she removed herself from the warmth of his muscular body and grabbed another of his shirts. She opened the window and let the familiar slow form of Errol the Weasley owl into the room. Lackadaisically he flew a few feet into the room dropped the letter into Hermione's hands and fluttered rather lopsidedly back out again. Climbing back into bed she opened the seal and took out the parchment pausing only to give a small chuckle at Harry when he made a squeaking noise in his sleep. The parchment read –

_Hermione, _

_Arthur and I have decided to host a little surprise get together for Harry and Ginny on Thursday night to mark their anniversary. Nothing fancy just family. Starts at about seven, please be a dear and pass the message on to Ron. _

_Love_

_Molly x_

Hermione sighed and lay back against the headboard. She knew she wasn't looking forward to that. Going to a party with your boyfriend that's in honour of your lover's anniversary with his girlfriend, who just happens to be one of your best friend's at her parents and your boyfriend's old house with all their family there who've treated you like one of their own for over a decade – she really wasn't looking forward to that. She knew the whole evening was going to be a whirlwind of emotions. She could feel them starting to arrive now. Guilt, shame, embarrassment – yep the whole family of crappy feelings would be there. Then there'd be terror that she'd walk into that room and somehow _everyone_ would know. Then there would come the jealousy when Harry was with Ginny and it would take all her self-control not to jump him. It was making her head hurt and she knew Harry would feel the same. She had to prepare him. Shaking him gently he stirred and gave her a warm smile.

"Morning." He said and gave her a quick kiss. "You're wearing my shirt again. Did I happen to mention I find that one of the sexiest things I've ever seen?"

She gave a soft laugh and hit him playfully on the arm then she handed him the parchment.

"Just to prepare you…" she said quietly as he read it over.

"I don't think that will be a fun night." Harry said and Hermione nodded in agreement.

"We just need to keep our heads." He said "Act normal and don't do anything stupid."

"What…" Hermione began but stopped short.

"What is it?" Harry asked "Come on you know you can tell me anything." He said placing a hand over hers.

"What if they know?"

"They won't." he assured her.

"I just feel so…so guilty. Not all the time, it comes in waves and then…then I see you and it disappears."

"Well do you, do you want to stop? You know whatever you want to call this what we're doing?" Harry asked his voice shaking. Now that he had been with Hermione he couldn't imagine ever losing her. It was the big question, one that they both knew was coming, Harry held his breath waiting for an answer. He let out a sigh of relief when she shook her head and told him no.

"I promise they won't know. Just act like we've always acted okay?"

"Okay." She nodded and placed a hand on her cheek and stroked it gently.

"I…" he began but then stopped in curious way as if he wanted to say something more but bit his lip.

"What?" she asked him.

"Nothing, nothing…" he mumbled "Anyway I have to get ready for work. Mind if I use the shower?"

She shook her head and he replied with a soft kiss. She smiled as she watched him walk away and couldn't help but feel ultimately special.

--

There we go…a bit boring in my opinion but I had to get some plot in there and Harry and Hermione had to have these conversations at some point! Reviews would be nice and always make me smile and write faster hehehe

Performanceaddict

x


	10. Chapter 10

_Yeah so since my last chapter was a little short I thought I'd update a but quicker! AND to make things a even better its my longest chapter yet and also my favourite to date _

_One more quick thing before we start. After the war Ginny decided to go back to school for 7__th__ year and then after that Harry travelled for a year as part of his Auora training. Then when he came back it took a while for those two to get going so that's why they've only been together for four years and not 6. Just to clear that up! Anyway enjoy! _

_**Chapter 10**_

Hermione lay snuggled in Harry's arms as the golden sunlight warmed their bodies. She heard him sigh with happiness as he buried his nose into her soft curls and wrapped his arm tighter around her waist. Hermione let a small smirk grow on her face as she recalled last night's events.

Yesterday she and Harry had went their separate ways to work – not that either of them were particularly focused – and Hermione had pottered around floating through the day. That night she had grudgingly went dinner with Ron and had made an effort not to get in a fight. She really had. But as usual he had made one of his 'Ron comments', as Hermione was now accustomed to calling them and the whole thing had ended in a complete and utter shambles. Hermione in a flurry of annoyance had stormed out of the fancy restaurant and stomped half way across London to cool off. Then she sent Harry an owl using a code word they had come up with – 'vodka' – to let each other know to come over and he had been only too happy to oblige as he was facing yet another night without Ginny. After a ridiculously bad start Hermione's night took a turn for the better to say the least. And it just kept getting better. They spent most of the weekend together in Hermione's flat – Ginny apparently had some sort of Quidditch retreat and Ron had enough sense to let Hermione cool off – and they weren't bothered by anyone. However Thursday and Harry and Ginny's 'surprise' party loomed closer and closer and seemed to but a dent in their perfect little sex bubble as the weekend came to a close. But for the moment they were snuggled up on the Sunday in bed having lost all sense of time.

"I could just lie here forever…" Hermione said sighing.

"Me too." Harry murmured nuzzling her neck.

"We should probably move though." She said indifferently.

"Probably." He said laughing lightly.

"Come on we should grab some breakfast or lunch…or dinner. What ever time it is." She said sitting up and Harry groaned in protest and pulled her back down with a kiss. She tried to mischievously wriggle free but he roped his arm further around her waist and pulled her on top of him and she stuck out her tongue.

"Cheat." she said and with a provocative smile she straddled his hips as he stretched and yawned trying to seem nonchalant but he couldn't hide his twitching arousal from beneath her.

"Cheat? I think not, it's not my fault I'm strong." He said raising an eyebrow as she ground her hips against his.

"True you're strong but I know exactly how to get you Mr. Potter." Hermione retorted.

"Oh? And how is that?" he asked coming up to a sitting position and gripping her hips.

"Like this." She whispered seductively and then drew him in for a long kiss. Then she traced the outline of his stomach slowly and lightly with one finger and with her other hand laced it through his back locks all the while grinding against him but refusing him entry by not sitting still. When they broke the kiss Harry had to gulp back the lump of desire in his throat.

"Th-that's not doing much love." He stuttered out and she gave him a questioning look and shuffled off him.

"Oh really? Well then I'll just go for that nice hot shower I was planning all by myself." She said climbing out of bed and swinging her hips in that certain way.

"_Stay cool Harry…" _he desperately thought _"Resist that little minx!" _Then all of a sudden she stopped and leant on the frame of the bathroom doorway biting her lip in anticipation.

"Coming?" she said with a smirk knowing she'd won already.

"_Who am I kidding?" _he thought and practically jumped out of the bed.

---

Later that day they had lunch together and finally parted. But to their dismay they weren't to meet again till the night of the surprise party. Firstly because they actually had to actually go to work and function and two the damn red headed Weasley's wouldn't leave them alone. Ron had owled Hermione incessantly and seemed not to leave her alone in order to yet again make up for the disastrous dinner. Ginny too had paid some unexpected attention to Harry but only because she was looking forward to a rather lavish anniversary gift. So surprisingly he had actually managed to spend the night in his own bed.

So the next time they were able to see each other was on the Thursday night. Ron and Hermione decided to go separately and when Hermione turned up the Weasley household was as usual full of life. Molly in her own loveable way was bustling around the kitchen weaving in an out of Fred and George's (A/n – I couldn't do it! I just couldn't!) latest version of firecracker snap – like exploding snap only with a bit more kick. Tonks, Lupin, (again just couldn't do it!) Teddy who was now a bouncing six year old and the new baby Eponine were seated at the table and Tonks was amusing the toddler by changing her hair colour. Bill and the very pregnant Fluer and little Victore were curled up together in an arm chair in the corner of the kitchen and Hagrid in his massiveness was standing awkwardly in the doorway.

"Ah Hermione dear!" Said Molly as Hermione stepped out of the fireplace brushing the dust off her red cloak. She wasn't lavishly dressed but had at least made an effort. You know tamed her hair, slapped on some make-up, put on a nice simple cream dress that she happened to look fabulous in – of course she told herself this had nothing to do with Harry being there. No definitely not. She held her breath for a moment. This was it, she was in. No going back now. Hermione just prayed she wouldn't give anything away. She had a plunging feeling in her stomach those first few seconds when Molly Weasley scanned over her.

"Need any help Molly?" Hermione asked politely trying to keep the tightness and panic out of her voice.

"Oh no dear." Said Molly in her usual jovial tone and Hermione let out a small sigh of relief "Just sit down. Is Ron coming soon?"

Hermione nodded and tried to keep the frown from her face at the mention of his name and took a seat beside Tonks and Lupin and the children.

"_There we go."_ She thought _"This is easy enough, no one knows. It'll be fine." _

"You look beautiful Hermione." Said Tonks, shaking Hermione from her thoughts.

"What? Oh thanks you look lovely too." Hermione told her warmly.

"Hmmm yes it would seem that a lack of sleep suits me." Tonks laughed. "I'm up every few hours with this one." She said gesturing to the baby "Her father seems to be deaf to the world at three in the morning? Doesn't he Eponine?"

"It's called selective hearing I think every man has it." Hermione laughed and Lupin gave them both a sardonic look. Then there was another eruption of green flames from the fireplace and out came a dishevelled looking Ron.

"Almost went into the wrong fireplace." He mumbled as Molly wiped a smudge of dirt from his forehead causing Fred and George to laugh hysterically.

"Aww ikle wikle Ronniekins still getting mummy to wipe the dirt from your nose." Fred mocked.

"Even when your girlfriend's sitting there? I mean she must have wiped lots of thin-"

"Yes thank you George." Said Hermione not liking where this was going.

"Thanks…" mumbled Ron giving her a rushed peck on the cheek which she received coldly. He sat down next to her and lent in speaking quietly.

"I'm sorry about the other night." He began but Hermione cut him off.

"Now's not the time, not tonight. Harry and Ginny will be here soon." She said sternly. He nodded and looked away ashamed and right on cue Harry and Ginny appeared more gracefully than Ron from the fireplace. Ginny was flushed and Harry didn't look altogether happy.

"Okay mum me and Harry cant stay long we have dinner reservations in half-" Ginny babbled as she took off her cloak unaware of the other people in the room. She stopped short when she noticed the assembly in her old kitchen.

"SURPRISE!" Fred and George shouted simultaneously while letting off mini fireworks that spelled happy anniversary. Ginny could only gape confused and Harry feigned surprise.

"Well say something?" said Molly exasperated.

"So…so we're not going to Delmico's?" Ginny questioned Harry and he raised an eyebrow in surprise at her.

"What I think Ginny means Mrs Weasley is thank you." Harry said hugging her and Molly beamed. The next hour passed with gift openings, light conversation, Fred and George's usual antics and a lavish meal that rivalled Hogwarts feasts. It was pleasant enough and Harry and Hermione interacted just the way they always had except from the knowing smiles or looks they gave each other when no one else was watching. They were all taking a break from eating before desert and the room had split into a few groups now that Arthur Weasley, Percy and his fiancée Penelope, Neville and Luna who were also engaged and Lee Jordan had arrived. From across the room Harry saw Hermione chatting to Lupin casually and decided to take her a drink.

"Here" he said walking over to her and placing a glass of Rosie wine in her hands.

"Thanks." She said and flashed him a dazzling smile.

"Harry my boy, I hear you're making quite a splash in the Auror world." Said Lupin patting him on the shoulder "Top of your class."

"Well I wouldn't say that…" Said Harry shuffling his feet.

"He's just being modest." Hermione said beaming. "He's doing wonderfully!"

Lupin nodded and then somewhere from across the room Eponine began to cry. Lupin sighed.

"I'm afraid that's my cue, I'll be right back." He said making his way across the almost empty kitchen and took the baby outside . The room had been opened up like at Fluer and Bills wedding and led out into the garden. Now that Lupin had went ouside to give his crying toddler to Tonks Harry and Hermione were alone at the back in shadowy corner.

"You look beautiful." Harry said quietly gazing at her softly and she felt herself go red.

"You look quite dashing yourself." She replied with a smile. He brushed a hand gently over her cheek and she closed her eyes, mesmerised by his silky smooth touch.

"I've missed you these past few days." He said softly moving closer.

"Really?" she asked looking into those enchanting green eyes directly for the first time that night. She found it strange how they could still make her breathless. And Harry felt the same way. He was lost in a sea of chocolate brown and tenderness that he'd craved for the last few days. They were incredibly close, their lips almost touching, and their reason almost slipping. So excruciatingly close.

"Harry, Hermione you've to come out we're going to have some ca-" Lupin began but stopped when he saw the two jump away from each other like jackhammers. He gave them a questioning look and noticed the awkwardness in the room.

"What?" Said Harry more sharply than he meant. Lupin continued to stare at their flushed demeanour for a second.

"You guys should come out, we're about to have some cake, that's all." Said Lupin carefully giving them one more curious look before turning away. An awkward silence crept over them.

"That was close." Hermione said finally.

"It was." He replied quietly.

"We should get out there." She said and Harry nodded walking out the double doors immediately. He walked so briskly in front of her it seemed like the two hadn't really been together inside at all. As Hermione walked into the bright garden of the Burrow she could feel Lupin's eyes on her from behind but she refused to meet them cursing herself and Harry for their stupidity and weakness. A second later and they would have been kissing and they couldn't have shrugged that away. However she couldn't hide the twitch of jealousy on her face when she saw Ginny's arm wrapped tightly around Harry's as they cut a large sponge cake together laughing freely. That's when it hit her. She was _that girl. _The _other _woman. She wouldn't ever be able to do this with Harry would she? Although they hadn't talked about where this thing of theirs was going she doubted that she would ever replace Ginny in this picturesque scene with family and friends – well not ever these family and friends.She'd never be forgiven for her actions if they every found out. Nope no anniversary parties for Harry and Hermione at this house.

And yes there it was. The sinking feeling had returned. Damn. She had to look away for a second as she heard Ginny laugh girlishly as Harry placed a dollop of icing on her nose. Then there was a tinkling of glass and Molly Weasley got everyone's attention. Hermione raised her eyes again when she was sure there were no tears there.

"Well I'd just like to say a few words about our Harry and Ginny." She began her eyes glttering with proud tears "Seeing you two makes me happier than anything else in the world. Harry you're like a son to me and Arthur and we can't believe you two have been together for almost four years and I'm sure there will be many more to come. Perhaps I may even see another child married and get more than one grandchild before Fred and George give me an early grave." She said Molly causing everyone except Hermione and Harry to laugh. "Anyway to Harry and Ginny" she said holding up her glass and everyone followed holding up their glasses of wines or spirits before sipping there's – or in Hermione's case draining hers.

Then all of a sudden the jovial atmosphere was paused as a large grey owl swooped down and plopped a letter into the youngest Weasley's hands. She opened it carefully and quickly read it. Some strange emotion passed on her face but Harry couldn't quite place it. Then she folded up the letter quite business like and tucked it away in her robes.

"I'm sorry Harry but I'm afraid I have to leave…" she said not really sounding all that sorry at all, almost excited.  
"What? It's our anniversary!" he said feeling anger build up from the bottom of his stomach but keeping his voice low so as not to alert anyone.

"I have to, team emergency." She said sternly. "I'll see you later at home."

She turned and went into the kitchen but Harry followed her.

"Ginny, Ginny wait!" he called and now everyone turned round to watch as they matched back into the house.

Hermione listened more closely than anyone. They were fighting that's for sure. She could hear the agitation in Harry's voice and the coldness in Ginny's a few moments later the front door slammed and clicked. Harry re-emerged.

"Sorry everyone but Ginny had to run. It would seem that there's been a rather serious injury and they have to make some changes to the team…" he said obviously irritated. No one said anything but the silence was deafening. "Excuse me." He said before turning back into the house once again and trudging upstairs. Everyone in the garden looked around awkwardly not knowing what to say.

"I'll go talk to him." Said Hermione to no one in particular but everyone heard and thought it best. Yes safe reliable Hermione would calm him down and fix things. Just like she always did – or so everyone thought. She ignored Lupin's curious glance at her as she rushed out the room.

---

Hermione knocked softly on the bathroom door but there was no answer. She tried again but silence was still her only reply.

"Harry it's me let me in." she said tenderly and a few seconds later he opened the door and she stepped in. After an uneasy silence Hermione spoke.

"Do you want to talk about it?" she asked but he just leant against a tiled wall, arms crossed burning a hole with his eyes on the linoleum floor.

"She shouldn't have gone it wasn't right…" Hermione tried "It is your anniversary after all; you have a right to be mad."

"I'm not." Harry said sharply "I mean I'm not mad at that."

"Then what?" Hermione said quietly "Is it…is it me?"

"No of course not!" Harry said quickly "I'm mad at myself."

"What do you mean?" she asked.

"Mad that I felt so guilty…you know about us. I thought I had a girlfriend who loved me and wanted to be with me and it made me feel sick when I went home; knowing what we'd done." He spat "but there's no reason, she doesn't even want to spend our anniversary together."

He said it miserably and it stung Hermione a little but she didn't let it show. Instead she saw the pain and felt how torn he was inside. She saw hot tears form in his eyes and couldn't help but reach out.

"Hey its okay…" she said softly hugging him and letting him nuzzle at her neck and breath in her calming scent. It was so surreal. Here she was comforting her lover because his girlfriend had upset him. She sighed and petted him on the head.

"What did I do to deserve you Hermione?" he asked looking again into her chocolate eyes. And then without warning he kissed her, taking her by surprise. He put all the frustration and guilt and craving he was feeling into it and his passion made Hermione feel slightly dizzy. She responded eagerly, pressing herself against him. Harry groaned when he felt the curves of her body through his clothing and his body reacted with its usual vivacity. Kissing her deeply and exploring every nook and cranny of her mouth with his tongue he pushed her towards the door and heard her mutter a silencing charm. Hermione's deft fingers unclipped the buckle on his suit trousers while he hitched up her dress and pulled down her underwear and tights. Harry grabbed at the cotton pants with one hand and lifted her up against the door with the other as she kicked off her shoes and undergarments and wrapped her legs around his hips. Hermione moaned when he stopped to suck at a particular spot in between her breasts and thanked Merlin she remembered how to do a wandless silencing charm. In a flash Harry's boxers joined his trousers on the floor and Hermione felt his hard length at her entrance. Her body flushed with anticipation as he teased her with the tip of his member and pulled off her bra to suck on a nipple. Finally he plunged into her and groaned as her hot wetness engulfed him once again. Harry began to thrust hard and fast and Hermione's head was thrown back in pleasure as he went deeper and deeper. The friction and breathing increased and Hermione was pinned between Harry and the door. He seemed endless inside her and she didnt know how much longer she could stay there pinned in ecstasy. And all the anger and the hurt Harry had felt before disappeared the moment he kissed Hermione. When he was close to her, joined with her nothing else mattered, nothing else existed. Harry gave one more deep thrust before pushing Hermione and him over the edge. Breathless and panting they both rode out their orgasms and trembling Harry let Hermione down from the door and pulled out of her.  
"How can you do this to me?" he murmured softly into her cheek as the sweat poured form his forehead. Their bliss was interrupted by a knock on the door.

"Hey whoever's in there hurry up!" came the unmistakeable cry of Percy Weasley. Harry turned to Hermione while fastening his trousers with a blind look of panic on his face.

"It's okay he can't hear us." She assured him adjusting her dress and concealing the row of red bite marks on her collar bone. "I'll apparate into Ron's room."

Harry nodded tucking in his shirt and a moment later she was gone with a small pop. He looked in the mirror and straightened himself up some more before undoing the silencing charm and opening the door.

"Sorry Percy…" He mumbled brushing past him and Percy shook his head in annoyance. When he arrived in Ron's room Hermione was sat deep in thought looking out the window.

"Well I feel a lot better." He said chirpily and she gave him a coy smile. "We should probably get back down."

"Yeah, so we've been up here having a talk then." She said slyly.

"Yep just two friends together, working out some problems…making each other feel better." He said.

"A lot better…"

"Definitely."

He took her by the hand and gave her one quick kiss before they descended down stairs and back to their real lives.

_So guys that's that! This one just seemed to flow out a lot better and that's why its early. And Yay! I have reached over 100 reviews! WOW! That makes me so happy! Thanks guys but please keep on reviewing it makes me smile and update faster! _

_Performanceaddict_

_x_


	11. Chapter 11

_Hey all. So yeah its xmas show season right now but I'm almost done only one more to go! That means I'll be updating more recently whooooop! __I hope to get one or two in before xmas but I'm not promising since im severely behind in my Christmas shopping! Lol _

_Anyway enjoy!_

_**Chapter 11**_

"_Come on Hermione fight it. You know you can…" _ Her mind screamed at her, she was sure it was just a matter of mind over body, she could do it. Her brain couldn't let her down. _"Just a few more steps, that's it take deep breaths." _

But she wasn't sure she'd be able to hold out. She was clammy, her head was spinning and that horrible shivery feeling was travelling down the back of her neck. _"Almost there…come on. Right go through the door. Keep going." _

She paced herself she was almost there and she'd be safe. She ignored the dizzy feeling and held herself steady. _"Okay now open the cubical Hermione, lock it behind you. Yep that's it." _

She knelt on the cold tiled floor of the ladies toilet in the research centre and took long deep breaths. She rested her elbows on the toilet bowl and tried her best to shake off the nausea. It didn't take. A few minutes later and she was spewing up the piece of toast she'd rushed an hour ago and she was sure last nights lasagne was there too. It wasn't a pretty sight. When she felt better she slowly got to her feet and flushed the toilet. Then she said a quick cleaning charm – hygiene is very important after all – and conjured up a toothbrush, toothpaste and mouthwash. When she was satisfied she didn't smell like vomit and wouldn't regurgitate anything else she shook herself and made her way back to her lab.

"_Damn stomach bug." _ She thought in annoyance to herself. She'd been feeling like this since yesterday and at first thought it was just a twenty four hour bug but now she was afraid it was turning into the flu. Hermione desperately hoped she could shake it so she wouldn't have to miss work.

It had been three days since the anniversary party and she hadn't seen Harry since. He'd been so caught up with work but she missed him. However the rational part of her brain told her that they couldn't be together every day no matter how much she wanted to shag him senseless. She smiled to herself as she thought of their last encounter. She had never considered herself a thrill seeker but the danger and the passion that Harry had touched her with had added that extra edge to their love making. She sighed and wondered if it would always have to be like that.

Hermione was also concerned about Ron. He had started to notice she was acting different. He noticed she wasn't spending quite as much time with him as usual and now her lack of enthusiasm when it came to sex was more blatantly obvious. She teetered back into the laboratory and flitted about for a while and before she knew it, it was half twelve. There was a knock on the door which forced Hermione to look up from her magic microscope.

"Miss Granger?" Said her assistant Anna-bell. She was polite and hard working and passionate about the scientific properties of magic as she too was muggle born. She had been sent to Hermione a month ago from the ministry with rave reviews. Hermione made a mental note to get to know her better.

"Yes Anna-bell?" she asked.

"There's a man here to see you…" Anna-bell said shyly. For she knew how powerful and intelligent Hermione Granger was. Everyone in the wizarding world did –muggle born or pureblood she was a household name. What the golden trio did during the war was recorded and recited to every Hogwarts student and Anna-bell McCue was amazed to be working with someone so infamous yet so young.

"I…I think it's Harry Potter!" she squeaked unable to keep the excitement out of her voice. Anna-bell couldn't believe it. The hero of the Wizarding World right here in the lab!  
"Thank you, could you tell him I'll be right out." Said Hermione smiling at the young assistants thrill. Hermione sometimes forgot what she'd done. She didn't feel like the most talked about witch of the century. She was just Hermione Jane Granger. Daughter to Simon and Jill Granger well respected dentists. In fact she expected to wake up one day eleven years old and discovering it was all a dream and that she was about to start a normal Muggle secondary school. That's why she found the fame after the war a bit unnerving but she got used to it – although every now and again it would still catch her by surprise.

Quickly Hermione whipped off her lab coat patted down her hair and straightened her skirt. When she opened the office door she found Harry sipping a coffee, leaning against Hermione's desk with Anna-bell chatting excitedly buzzing around him. Hermione heard Harry give a small chuckle. A twinge of jealousy went through her as she watched Harry smile and nod at the young attractive assistant. Hermione gave a small cough.

"'Mione" Harry said sitting up from the desk smiling widely.

"Can I get you another coffee Mr. Potter." Anna-bell asked blushing.

"No thank you." Harry said politely and Anna-bell turned to go.

"I'd _love_ one." Interjected Hermione sharply.

"Yes Miss Granger." Said the assistant and quickly left the room.

"That was a bit harsh…" Harry chuckled as the door shut.

"Well she was gawking at you!" Hermione said huffily.

"Hmm Miss Granger now who's jealous." He teased and she hit him playfully on the arm.

"So to what do I owe this honour?" she asked wrapping her arms around his neck.

"I just wanted to see you." He said a wicked grin crossing his face before he gave her a soft kiss on the lips. Hermione was amazed that it still tingled when he did that. "I thought we could go to lunch."

"I wish I could but I have so much work to get d-"

"Please 'Mione." He said sucking on that particular spot on her collar bone and nuzzling her neck. He wrapped an arm round her waist and reached down to pinch her bum and she gave a girlish squeal.

"I want to Harry really I do…" she mumbled but she lost concentration as he nibbled her earlobe. "Fine!" she said knowing she had to put an end to this now or they'd be making love on her desk in about five minutes. Harry gave her a devilish smile.

"Just give me a few minutes to clear the stuff away in the lab." She said with a wink and he enveloped her in another long kiss. Then she rushed back into the lab and with a flick everything was cleared away. Then with another flick she changed her dull grey robes into smart black ones, put her back into a long neat pleat and sprinkled on some perfume. Then she re-entered the office and Harry raised an eyebrow.

"Clearing stuff away in the lab?" he questioned and she gave him a shy smile.

"I…just…well…wanted to look nice." She stammered and he gave her a quick kiss on the cheek.

"You look beautiful, as always." He told her. "Shall we?"

Hermione took his arm and walked out past Anna-bells' desk. She jumped up enthusiastically.

"Don't you want your coffee Miss Granger?" she asked. Hermione turned back for a second and then gazed at Harry. This wasn't just coffee. It was a symbol of the way her life used to be. She couldn't go back and she knew it. She knew that from now on she was hooked on Harry Potter. Nothing meant more to her.

"No…" she said to Anna-bell, almost dreamily "Most certainly not."

---

Harry and Hermione sat in the café at Diagon Alley. Apart from a few stares and whispers from passers by – which they were used to of course – nothing bothered them. But Hermione had made a decision. She didn't know exactly what was going on with her and Harry but she had realised that no matter what her future didn't lie with Ron Weasley. She had to let Harry know that.

So Hermione broke the comfortable silence that they had found themselves in as they ate their meal.

"I have to end it with him you know." She said quietly.

Harry looked up from his burger in surprise. He didn't know what to say to her. Inside his feelings were going haywire again. Most of him was ecstatic and he wanted to jump up and down but part of him felt sad as he should that his bestfriend's were breaking up. And of course he started to feel guilty that he felt happy.

"Oh." Was all he could muster.

"It…it's not because of you." She began but then shook her head. "Alright well it is because of you…us…this thing. I kept telling myself that I loved him and that I wanted to marry him and that there'd never be anyone else for me but…but deep down I knew it wasn't true and you've shown me that Harry." She said close to tears. Harry was still speechless. Some nagging voice in his head was saying the same thing to him but he pushed it away. He wasn't quite ready yet.

"Hermione…I…I don't know…I mean me and Ginny…" He mumbled but she cut him off.

"I don't expect you to leave her Harry." She said bluntly and Harry gave her a confused expression "I stopped loving Ron like that a long time ago and I think maybe deep down he feels the same but I can't be sure. But you Harry, I think you still love Ginny, I think some part of you want's to work it out with her…" she said and he could see she was biting back tears.

"But I love you too." He said before he could stop himself. In truth he really didn't want to. Part of him wanted to shout it on the roof tops day and night.

"You…you do?" Hermione asked him her voice cracking with emotion.

"Do you know what?" he asked almost laughing "I really think I do."

She smiled at him and he felt a warmth wash over him, envelope him and take him to a completely different place.

"When will you break things off with Ron?" He asked breaking their peaceful loving silence.

"I'm not sure…" she told him "I need to find out how he really feels. If he's serious and he loves me then it'll be harder and I'll need to think of how to do it. But if he's not then he might be easier to talk to."

"I'm supposed to be going for a drink with him tonight. I can have a talk with him if you'd like?" Harry offered.

"That would be great!" Hermione said enthusiastically, she would have never thought Harry would offer to help in this. They finished the rest of their meal in silence apart from the clink and clang of knives and forks. Both their minds were on those five words Harry had said earlier 'But I love you too'. Hermione couldn't believe he had said them, she knew he felt something for her but love, romantic love, passionate beautiful love! She wouldn't have guessed. Attraction yes, desire definitely but this was a whole other level. Hermione just prayed he meant it.

Harry on the other hand sat and watched her as she ate, lost in her thoughts. He hoped they'd be about him. He however felt like an idiot. She was so surprised when he said he loved her and he now realised he should have told her the very first time he kissed her. Right now he wanted to tell everyone that he loved Hermione Granger, he wanted to leave Ginny, he wanted to run away with Hermione and love her forever on some secluded island. Then he watched her stand up abruptly.

"Excuse me Harry, it's this damn flu bug it's making me feel a bit queasy again!" she said and ran off in the direction of the toilets. He smiled to himself, even nauseous she was beautiful.

---

That night Harry met Ron in Chapman's Inn a local wizard pub. They sat and talked about the usual stuff; work, Quidditch, the quality of the firewhisky. But then as Harry had hoped the conversation quickly turned to Hermione and he fought to keep an over zealous smile from his face. He listened dutifully to Ron complain about her nagging and their rapidly decreased sex life – which Harry was ecstatic about. After about half an hour Harry finally asked trying to act as normally as he could –

"Is there something wrong with you guys?" and Ron sighed.

"I don't know. We just don't seem to click anymore. And I get the feeling that she wants to move in mate. I don't know if I'm ready for that." He said shaking his head.

"Don't you love her?" Harry asked a bit sharply but Ron didn't notice.

"I…I think I do." He hesitated "But I mean moving in, marriage and commitment, I just don't think it's for me right now. I'm only twenty-five is it wrong that I want to live a little?" Ron whined.

"No it's not…" Harry told him "But it's wrong to keep leading Hermione on. You need to explain to her that you don't want a commitment this very second." Harry really thought he deserved an Oscar for this.

"But I love her; I don't want to loose her!" Ron said putting his head in his hands wearily "I'm so confused Harry."

"Well you need to work something out quick." Said Harry, before he could stop himself.

"Why?" Asked, Ron curiously "What's 'Mione been saying?"

"Nothing." Harry said but Ron shook his head.

"Tell me mate. You wouldn't keep me in the dark would you?" He whined and Harry's stomach lurched in guilt. Okay maybe not an Oscar but a Grammy at least.

"Its just…" He began wondering how to put it. "She seemed a bit frustrated…when I last talked to her. I think she might want to talk to you about a few things."

"What are you saying Harry?" Ron said nervously "Is she going to dump me?"

"Never mind, forget I said anything." Harry said quickly finishing the last of his firewhisky "Everything will be fine as long as you figure out something soon alright?"

"Okay." Said Ron miserably.

"Come on mate, let's go to a muggle pub and play some pool." Harry said chirpily.

"Pool? What like swimming?" Said Ron confused.

"Come on, you'll see." Ron told him grabbing his arm and ushering him out of the pub. Harry decided he'd play a game or two with Ron and then he was going straight to Hermione with some very good news indeed.

_There we go. That was another kind of filler for you before a very explosive chapter coming up! Hehe. And the whole Hermione at work thing was for Gilsaraforever's review in chapter 9. It sparked off that little idea in my head so thank you and that is dedicated to you! _

_Performanceaddict x_


	12. Chapter 12

_So as a special Christmas delight I have decided to update this chapter earlier. Hope you like it and thanks to everyone who reviewed! Enjoy!_

_**Chapter 12**_

"So you've really decided then?" Harry asked as he nuzzled Hermione's neck with his nose.

"Yes, as soon as he comes home from the conference. I can't leave it any longer." She said tenderly stroking his black locks. "He's back on Monday night I think so I'll get him to come over on Tuesday."

"Alright." Harry said quietly. They sat in silence in the candle light for a few more minutes letting the CD finish in the player. Both lost in their thoughts. Hermione's were about what she would say to Ron. He had been away for the last week with work but she had told herself she needed to end it. Even if Harry wasn't planning to with Ginny. However this was something Harry at that point was considering. Yet again he had fought with Ginny that night; he couldn't even remember exactly what had happened. One minute they were eating dinner, the next they were screaming at each other. And yet again he had went over to Hermione's to find comfort, understanding and love, even if she was still feeling under the weather. Now Harry wasn't an idiot. He knew that things were bad between Ginny and him and he knew for certain that he loved Hermione. How it had developed from platonic love to romantic love he didn't know but it had and he couldn't deny it.

"I'm thinking about it you know." Harry said suddenly and Hermione gave him a questioning look.  
"What?"

"Breaking things off with Ginny…just so you know." He told her.

"Oh…Harry you don't need to just because of me an-"

"I'm not!" He assured her quickly.

"But you two just had a fight and you're probably still angry and-"

"Hermione listen to me. I can't say that I don't still love her. I do. Well I still love the idea of Ginny; a loving girlfriend who I saw myself marrying someday, childhood sweethearts and all that crap. But to be honest it's fading and I can feel it. We hardly ever see each other because she's always away somewhere training or staying late organising the team…some nights she doesn't come home at all. And when we do see each other all we do is fight and I end up on the couch. We haven't even had sex since…well since you and I got together." Harry said finishing his rant trying desperately to make Hermione understand that he wasn't just using her. He wasn't going to be one of those guys who lured women away from their boyfriends or husbands, stringing them along and not even consider leaving their partner.

Hermione sat there in silence taking it all in. So this really was happening. It was a serious thing. She was breaking up with Ron Weasley who if a few years ago you would have asked her she would have said he was the love of her life. And here Harry was talking about leaving Ginny. It was all so surreal.

"Say something 'Mione please." Harry said nervously. Then she looked up at him eyes shining in the firelight and kissed him with as much passion as she could muster. Harry groaned when he felt her turn round on his lap and press her frame against his bare chest. Immediately he moved to flip her underneath him on the couch where they had made love only an hour before but she stopped him and whispered in a sultry voice –

"Why don't I take control for a while."

Harry raised an eye brow at her but didn't complain as she left a trail of kisses down his neck leaving fresh red marks. She continued to do this until she reached his boxers and stopped to take her time removing them. Then with light gentle strokes she began to fondle his rock hard member, loving the sounds he made every time she did so. She touched him slowly at first and kissed the area around his inner thigh before finally swirling her tongue around his hard length. She smiled to herself as she heard him let out a long moan. The she placed one hand firmly around him and took him in her mouth.

Harry bucked involuntarily against her in pleasure. He lay there gritting his teeth and trying not to come too quickly but Hermione was making it very difficult. Again and again she turned her tongue this way and that taking more of him in each time. Harry's breathing became ragged and he was so desperately close as she kept up her relentless glorious mission of whirling. He was just about to come when suddenly she pulled away with a mischievous grin. He gave her a pleading look and let out a passion filled growl.

"Hermione…" he whimpered trying to hold on but couldn't find any other words.

"Don't worry Potter." She said in a voice that definitely didn't sound Hermione-ish. "I'm not done with you yet."

Then without warning she pushed him back on the couch and straddled him teasing him with her entrance before thrusting onto him enveloping him in her warm. They both moaned loudly at the contact savouring the moment. But it was not to last long as Harry sat up taking one of Hermione's breasts in his hand and starting to lick her hardened nipple in the same motions she had just used on him. Hermione at the same time rocked and thrust against him, wrapping her legs around his waist, her head thrown back in pleasure. Harry held on a few more seconds before exploding inside her, a moment later he felt her tense around him and then relax against his chest putting a hand on the couch back for support. When he felt that he could talk again Harry whispered half in disbelief half in gratitude.

"Hermione, any time you want to take control again it's fine by me."

---

Ginny Weasley stepped out from the motel room at three in the morning that same night. She draped her arms around the blonde called Jamie one last time and pulled him in for a long satisfied kiss. The street lights in the estate where there was a travel lodge, garage and TGI Fridays beamed down on the embracing couple setting a seedy orange light on their faces. Ginny smiled as she pulled away.

"Do you really need to leave?" Jamie Gorgon whined – he was a Magical Public Defender and good at persuasion. He thought he'd try some on his relatively new 'conquest'.

"I stayed with you last night. I need to go." She giggled as he nibbled on her earlobe.

"Really?" He said seductively working his way down her neck "Are you sure."

She pushed him away not so gently.

"Yes, my boyfriend will be wondering where I am. I wasn't home last night." Ginny told him sternly, fixing her bra strap.

"You said you fought with him. He'll just think you've taken time to cool off." He said trying to entice her into coming back inside.

"Do you want him to come looking for me here?" she said sharply annoyed at him persistence. She hated anyone else being in control.

"Eh…" was his answer.

"Thought not." She said smiling more at herself than at him. "I'll Owl you."

And with that she left him standing half naked in the door way and walked into the car park of the hotel. She would have to walk down a little to find a safe place to Apparate. How irritating. She made a mental note not to pick a muggle hotel again or Apparate from the room. Ginny adjusted her skirt as she walked over the car park past the white lines that designated spaces. The hotel wasn't popular tonight as only a few shabby looking cars and an old truck were dotted about the place. TGI's had long closed and the place was well and truly empty. She didn't even see the headlights. After all why would a witch be looking for them?

---

The blue Volvo raced along the M2 Northbound to London, music blaring, wheels glinting and swerving all over the empty midnight road.

"Robbie mate put the tunes up!" Shouted Stuart Seggie from the back of the car. But Robbie wasn't listening. In fact at that moment Robert Green wasn't really functioning at all. He was sat behind the wheel blinking in tiredness and from the semi-lethal amounts of alcohol, cannabis and cocaine he had drank, smoked or snorted into himself that night. He was well and truly fucked.

"You say summit Seggie?" Robbie shouted back to Stuart who was getting more than a little intimate with a girl in the back of the car. She seemed to have already passed out.

"The tunes man put em up or get your bird to do it." He said impatiently and Robbie nudged a blonde girl – he couldn't remember her name, in fact he couldn't really remember his – and she grudgingly turned the stereo up.

"Aren't we going a bit fast." She said to him "And I think Ellie has passed out back there."

"Stop being such a bore. And it's not my fault your mate can't handle her smash." Robbie said shrugging off the tiny nagging feeling she was right. He must not have drunk enough.

"I really think you should stop." The girl who's name was Louise said a note of pleading in her voice. "You're swerving all over the road Rob."

"Aww shut it ya slag." Seggie said, again from the back of the car as he must have finished whatever he was doing. "He's sober enough."

"But…but…but…" she said genuinely scared now.

"Fuck it then. Pull into the car park up there Rob and I'll drive." Seggie demanded and Robbie nodded turning in past the TGI Friday's sign. But he was still going 60 miles an hour and his eyes were almost shut. An orange street light flashed sending a pain to his head – a preview of what would come tomorrow morning. And he closed his eyes just a little, just for a second and let the warm fuzzy feeling of the drugs and alcohol take him away. The screams in the background were as distant as another continent and he didn't even feel Seggie and Louise both reach over him for the wheel that second too late.

The only thing that woke him was the massive thud and blinding pain in his head as it hit against the steering wheel when the car jolted violently to a stop.

"Fuck!" Seggie swore sitting up from the bottom of the car floor where he had ended up. He was lucky he wasn't through the windscreen.

"We hit someone!" said Louise hysterically, motioning to get out of the car but Seggie pulled her back.

"Don't move." He warned her as Robbie looked around in a daze.

"But they could be dead!" she squealed as Seggie gripped her shoulder rather painfully.

"That's my point. I'm not going to jail cause some stupid bint didn't look where she was going and a fucking slag couldn't keep her mouth shut and walk away." He said dangerously tightening his grip on her. "Rob mate you alright?"

Robbie nodded lazily and started the ignition as Louise began to cry.

"Now, there's no cameras about this hotel so we should be alright. Just pull out of here nice and slow and the minute we hit the motorway floor it." Seggie said calmly and Robbie nodded not quite aware what was happening. Louise was crying harder now but desperately trying to quieten here tears.

The blue Volvo backed out of the car park so slowly and inconspicuously no one would have thought anything suspicious. The moment it was out of sight of the hotel it sped off into the night blending into the background of black asphalt sky and glittering stars leaving a broken, bleeding and unconscious Ginny Weasley in it's wake.

---

Harry was rudely awoken by a rap on his door. He had decided to go home that night and have a long talk with Ginny. Try and sort his head out. That and he doubted he would have been able to keep his hands off Hermione after their last encounter. But again Ginny wasn't there. It would seem she hadn't come home that night. He was alone in bed. He guessed she had probably went to a friends house to cool off but that morning just past six as he heard the door rap he knew something was wrong. Getting up he grabbed his glassed and pulled his jeans on over his boxers and opened the door. He opened his door and in flew an envelope. A voice very much like the witch who from the ministry that told him he was expelled from Hogwarts came floating from it.

"Is this the home of one Miss Ginerva Weasley?" it said and Harry said yes.

"And are you Mr. Harry Potter, companion and co-property owner?" it asked again and Harry said yes.

"I regret to inform you that Miss Weasley is at St. Mungo's Hospital due to an accident early this morning. Miss Weasley was found in the Car Park of The Welcome Break Inn in Essex just off the M2. She is in critical condition and it appears she is the victim of a hit and run involving a Muggle automobile. It is suggested that you come to the hospital. Please apparate to the admissions desk. Yours sincerely Mafalda Hopkirk New head of admissions and discharge St Mungo's hospital for Magical Maladies and Injuries."

_Well well well what will happen I wonder? Will Ginny survive? When will Hermione dump Ron? Oh what a tangled web! Aye so anyway expect an update quite soon because I am officially on holiday after tonight until January and even though I haven't written a word of the next chapter I know what's happening and I have plenty of time. _

_Have a great xmas everyone, hope santa is good to you! Reviews would be a great present for me _

_Performance addict x_


	13. Chapter 13

A/n- This Chapter was hard for me to write for a number of reasons. I hope I did the first part justice. I had intended to write more but I felt it was the appropriate place to stop to fully do the next chapter right. Hope you like!

_For May wherever you are; although it's not in this chapter, it seems I did manage to write something trashy__ and inappropriate after all, I hope you're proud. _

_**Chapter 13**_

The hospital smell

combs my nostrils

as they go bobbing along

green and yellow corridors.

What seems a corpse

is trundled into a lift and vanishes

heavenward.

I will not feel, I will not

feel, until

I have to.

Nurses walk lightly, swiftly,

here and up and down and there,

their slender waists miraculously

carrying their burden

of so much pain, so

many deaths, their eyes

still clear after

so many farewells.

I will not feel, I will not

feel, until

I have to.

- From Visiting Hour by Norman McCaig

Harry sat numbly waiting outside in the corridor. He distantly felt Mrs Weasley squeeze his hand tight in consolation. He was wondering what on earth was taking so long, she was in surgery for hours and they had finally brought her back to a recovery room but the Healers were still in there running tests. Harry grimaced at what kind they were to take such time. And so he continued to sit there in the corridor which smelled vaguely like disinfectant and realised that all hospitals, muggle or magical, smelled like that. He had only been to a muggle hospital once in his life and that was when Dudley went in to get his appendix removed. The bitter smell that you could almost taste came lingering back now and if his mind wasn't so numb he could have sworn that the yellow and green paint used in St. Mungo's was exactly the same as it was in St. Thomas' in Waterloo.

His mind was operating in slow motion. The sombre faces of the healers as they ran in and out told him to expect the worst and he had already begun to shut down. Shut down by silence. The main thought was that it was somehow his fault. If he had only tried harder to make things work, tried harder to stay at home that night but no he had stormed off to be with Hermione and she had went Merlin knows where. Some carpark in Essex? Harry had already condemned himself. That was it. His fault end of story, just because the war was over didn't mean he had lost his over protectiveness. He still felt like he had to save the world and everyone in it.

"Mr. Potter? Mr. and Mrs. Weasley?" said a healer in light blue robes.

"Yes?" said Arthur Weasley the only one there able to conjure up words.

"You can come in now." The healer said quietly and led them into the stuffy white room. Harry felt sick when he saw the unconscious weak figure lying so calmly on the bed, magical tubes stuck into her delicate body and a respirator over her creamy skin.

"If she makes it through the night." The healer began but a little sob from Mrs Weasley interrupted her and she gave her a knowing sorrowful look. The healer had obviously done this many times. "If her condition improves by the morning we'll take her off the Inhalation Incantation so she can breathe on her own. Her condition is very serious but if she can breathe on her own and she wakes up soon then there is a very good chance for recovery. I'm very sorry to say at this point that it's just a matter of wait and see. I know it can be very frustrating but at this moment there is nothing more we can do but bide our time and hope for the best." The healer explained but received no reply but tearful eyes. "I'll leave you alone now."

The healer left and the three sat there in silence. None moving apart from Mrs Weasley who had taken Ginny's limp hand and was stroking it gently. Hope for the best. That's what the healer said. But she was wrong it wasn't frustrating to Harry. It was infuriating. The whole situation was. How was it fair that Ginny had survived Voldemort and the war and death eaters and countless other dangers just to end up like this? A cabbage in a hospital bed. Harry's secret anger bubbled away as he thought that not once in all the years and hardships had he ever just hoped for the best! He had always done _something_. Hermione had always insisted on it. Hermione. He wondered what would happen now and how he would feel if it were her lying in this bed. Would he be this strong? Would he be a gibbering wreck? Could he bare to see her like this or would he have yelled at the healers to do something if it was Hermione?

He didn't know. He tried to push the thought out that he would be more active and more determined if it was Hermione. But he did know one thing. He couldn't leave Ginny that was for sure. He decided that his reaction to this showed him he still felt_ something_ for her, he couldn't end it; especially when she was like this too. Maybe if she pulled through things would be different. Maybe they would both have an epiphany about how much they loved each other. Maybe.

Harry ignored the voices in the back of his head that were saying no. The relationship was too far gone. It didn't matter if she pulled through things between them would never change. He blocked those thoughts out. He had to try. Wasn't that what he always did?

About a quarter of an hour went by before anyone else arrived - the two Weasley's and Harry barely speaking at all in that time. But sure enough there silence was disturbed by a gentle knock on the door. A puffy eyed Hermione and a shell shocked Ron walked through, Hermione's silent tears trickled again as she saw Ginny on the bed. Mr Weasley got up and gently led Ron to a seat assuring him in hushed words that it would be alright. Harry stood up and embraced Hermione letting her sob uncontrollably into his robes. He stroked her curls and despite himself kissed the top of her head gently. Nobody looked up. Mrs Weasley didn't move from her post by her daughters bedside and Mr Weasley was too busy consoling Ron who was looking numbly at Ginny and smoothing her tussled hair. Harry breathed in her warm strawberry scent and the pain eased a little, he wondered how on earth she did that without even realising it. There were no seats left in the small room so Hermione sat on Harry's knee and cried into his shoulder. No one seemed to notice that either. He didn't know what to feel anymore. Was it be guilt? And then if it was what guilt? Guilt over the fact he could have done something to prevent this but instead chose Hermione or guilt that now he couldn't leave Ginny. And what about grief? His girlfriend was of course lying catatonic in front of him. Was it relief that Hermione was here, sitting with him and bringing him secret comfort he knew he shouldn't be feeling? And that brought him back to guilt again. It was a vicious circle of emotions. He hadn't felt this torn up since Sirius had died.

A little while later the rest of the Weasley family arrived as well as Neville, Luna and Lupin. All shocked and with worrisome, puffy-eyed faces. No one spoke much in the cramped room and the occasional healer bustled in and out checking vital signs and trying to look positive. Before they all knew it, it was nine o'clock at night and somewhere in the hospital a bell tolled signalling the end of visiting hours. The healer in the light blue robes came back.

"I'm afraid only one direct family member can stay the night with her I'm afraid." Seeing that Harry was already going to ask to stay.

"I'm not leaving my daughters side." Said Mrs Weasley. "The rest of you all go home and get some sleep, I'm staying."

Harry motioned to protest but Mr Weasley put a firm hand on his shoulder and shook his head. Grimly they walked from the room. Harry from the other side of the corridor he saw Hermione and Ron's awkward goodbyes. Hermione clearly expecting some sort of comfort and Ron – as usual when he was upset – wanting to be alone. He watch her tense as he gave her rough hug and a barely soft word telling her it would be alright before apparating away. Harry discreetly whispered to her he'd come by later and she nodded before making her way home herself.

In truth Hermione didn't know how to feel either. Was she glad Ginny had an accident? Of course not. But there was that selfish part in her as there is in all human beings that told her if Ginny weren't to pull through – Merlin forbid – that it may be easier for her and Harry. Her own thoughts appalled her, after all Ginny had been like a sister to her since she was twelve years old. She was disgusted at herself that there was even a part of her that could be thinking it. She was just clouded by grief; that was it. She wasn't thinking straight.

A soft knock on the door awoke her from her thoughts. She opened it to Harry who immediately collapsed into her arms. He wasn't crying but she could feel his unspoken but unhidden pain. She gently shushed him and led him into the bedroom. They didn't make love that night but simply held each other, thinking things through in silence. Harry thought about where things would go now. He knew the answer for him and Hermione probably wouldn't be a good one. He knew that Ginny's accident had changed things immensely and he most probably had to stop this. However he thought if he did have to end things, he would remember this moment; Hermione sleeping gently in his arms, her wonderful smell and how she numbed the pain. He wanted to stay like this permanently. And he did stay like that – for a few hours at least while he made his decision. Then when he was sure. He gave her a lingering kiss on the cheek, scribbled her a note and left.

---

The next morning Hermione woke alone. Her first thought was that Harry would be at work and then she remembered the terrible events of the previous day. They had seemed like a horrible dream for a few moments before rushing back. Obviously Harry would be at the hospital. She leaned over to check the time and found his note. Just as she thought, he was with Ginny. Knowing Harry he probably wouldn't leave her side all day. Hermione wished she could be there for her friend but she had to work. It was what kept her mind busy – if she sat around she'd go mad with worry. She decided she'd visit once in the morning and once in the evening. That would be enough not to drive her nuts.

So she did, every morning and night without fail for almost a week – even thought her stomach was still troubling her. She made a mental note to get it checked out soon. To her disappointment Harry had argued long and hard with the healer and got his wish to camp out next to Ginny day and night. He and Hermione had barely spoken all week and it stung a little. Ginny herself had shown no more signs of improvement except coming of the Inhalation Incantation but still the healers tried to maintain a hopeful disposition saying long speeches about brain activity and muscle reflexes that only Hermione really understood.

On the sixth day after the accident Hermione was preparing to go to St. Mungos and then to work when she received an unexpected visitor. It was Ron. He appeared at the apartment jittery and dishevelled, saying he needed to talk to her. He basically barged in and for a few moments stood still before pacing back and forth in the hallway.

"Right so here goes. I love you." Ron said bluntly stopping his pacing around the room.

"I…eh love you too Ron." She said after him, it had become more of a habit now than and actual feeling for her.

"Yeah good, that's good but I…eh…well you see. I love you but that's not what I meant to say…and you know…with everything that's well-"

"Oh for gods sake Ron spit it out!" Hermione said exasperated.

"Marry me." He said and silence followed. Had she heard him right? Did he actually just ask her to marry him? Not a chance she'd have to ask.

"What?" she said giving him a confused look.

"Marry me." He said again clear as day.

'_Oh shit.' _Was her first thought.

"Ron…" she began slowly but he cut her off.

"Look just here me out okay. With everything that's happened, you know Ginny, I've realised that life's too short. I mean I don't know how Harry does it. I'd be a gibbering wreck if that was you in that bed. And I've always known deep down we'd end up together and I don't want to waste anymore time. I've been an idiot not to ask you before now. I love you Hermione and I want to spend the rest of my life with you. So please marry me." He said gazing at her with all the heart felt sincerity in the world. She couldn't say no, at least not right away. Not without thinking it through.

"Let me think about it okay?" she said sighing and to her surprise gave her a warm smile.

"You wouldn't be Hermione if you didn't." he said giving her a peck on the cheek. "Now I have to go I'm going to be late for work. Sorry this was more romantic…"

"It was lovely Ron, really." She told him. And she supposed it was in it's own Ronish way. The way he had spoke to her reminded her of the old Ron. The way he spoke to her when they first started dating. She couldn't deny Ron meant every single word of it. But the real questions in her mind were not his sincerity but for how long would it last? And what about Harry?

The moment Ron left there was a tap at the window and a tawny St. Mungo's owl flew in. For a moment she was paralysed in fear. Something might have happened to Ginny. Her relief was that it was actually an Owl from Harry. She smiled as she saw his familiar scrawl.

_Hermione, _

_There's something I need to talk to you about. Can you meet me at my place after work? _

_Yours always_

_Harry_

_xxx_

That was good. He wanted to talk and knowing Harry probably more. She had things to discuss with him too. How would he feel now that Ron had proposed? Would Harry try and talk him out of it? Would he try and influence her answer?

"_Well I'll certainly find out." _Hermione thought. She'd just have to wait till that night.

---

A/N – This story in fact everything I write is in memory of Mrs May Henderson but this chapter especially. The poem at the start is one that she taught our higher English class and I thought it truly encapsulated how Harry felt. The poem was one of 'wee hendo's' favourites and even she could appreciate the irony that it became her life. The full poem is on my bio in case you're wondering what it's really about.

Anyway hope that little Ron interlude didn't give all my HHR enthusiasts a heart attack.

Next up angst!

Performanceaddict

x


	14. Chapter 14

_Hey everyone! Sorry I skipped an update! Been stressed out of my tiny mind the past two weeks with college and auditions and what not. Good news I have a whole week off next week so I may just update twice to make up for it. _

_You never know!_

_Enjoy!_

_**Chapter 14**_

"I'm sorry." He said again after nearly a full minute of deafening silence.

"I heard you the first time." She replied sharper than she meant. Tears had begun to roll down her cheeks, making her eyes shine in the most beautiful way. Harry tried to push it to the back of his mind. He was effectively breaking up with her after all.

"I do love you, you know." He said meekly his eyes glued to the floor of his living room carpet.

"But you love her more." Hermione said bitterly, trying to catch his eye. Hoping to find some falseness there in what he was saying. But he wouldn't look at her.

"It's not about that. I can't leave her now and it's not fair to string you along, I won't do that to you, to Ron." He said desperately trying to make her understand that he didn't want to do this but he had to for both their sakes.

"Who says you know what's fair for me. Why can't I decide? What if I don't care if you never leave her? What if all I want is you?" she said taking a step towards him, tears now cascading down her face. "And as for Ron I think we've already crossed that line."

"Hermione please…" Harry said she was making this hard. He didn't want to break up with her and the last thing he wanted was for her to be in pain.

"Don't you think I want you too? Believe me there's nothing more I want than to pick you up, carry you to that bed and make love to you for the rest of my life."

"Then why don't you!" she shouted at him in between the little sniffles of pain.

"Because if I did I wouldn't be able to live with myself! And neither would you. If we were together now or if we were to just disappear somewhere it would be great. For a while…" he tried to explain. Didn't she understand he'd thought about this? He'd thought about saying to the world, to Ron, to Ginny: screw you I love Hermione Granger and run away with her somewhere. He had he really had. "Then the guilt would kill us Hermione. We would have both betrayed our best friends in their time of need, when one is catatonic in a hospital bed, one you still care about and I still love in someway. We owe it to them to give it one last go…"

He stopped trying to explain. She was so close to him. Her curls were within touching distance.

"But…I love you." She said so faintly he scarcely believed he heard it at all. Then her lips came crashing down on his. He felt her hot tears on his face and the passion of her kiss in his mouth. He kissed her back for a few seconds knowing that this would be the last time he could before gripping her shoulders tightly and pushing her away. He held warm chocolaty gaze for a few moments before she spoke.

"You really meant it don't you? It's over." She said seeing the truth in those emerald circles.

"I wish on my life it weren't." he said pushing a strand of curls back from her face. "The best thing we can do now is try to move on, try and make it work with Ron and Ginny and put this behind us."

She nodded and now it was her turn to look at the floor. Harry felt a warmth drop away from him: as if his soul was cold, now that it was away from her gaze. Hermione turned her back on him and began to walk away from him wiping her eyes with the hem of her sleeve. Then she stopped suddenly in silence for a few moments as if considering carefully what she had to say.

"He asked me to marry him you know." She said quietly without turning around.

"Ron?" Harry asked in disbelief.

"Yes. He said he was sorry for the way things have been between us. That he loves me and wants to spend the rest of his life with me." She said bitterly. "And to think I was going to give that up…silly isn't it?"

In truth she didn't think she'd marry Ron. She was just trying to prompt a reaction, unfortunately it wasn't the one she was looking for.

"It is silly." He said with equal coldness "He loves you, you should marry him."

She was stunned into silence for a few seconds. Had he actually just said that?

"Well then…" she said calling his bluff "It seems my decision is made."

Her hazel eyes were defiant and stubborn, it was this kind of recklessness and unwillingness to back down that had got them both through the war. That made Harry fall in love with her in the first place. He realised then that he supposed he had always been in love with Hermione in some way. It would seem she especially hadn't lost her fierce resolve.

Harry wanted to answer her but he gave in and broke her gaze. He had a feeling deep down she wanted him to tell her that she shouldn't marry Ron and he wished he could but maybe this would help her forget. Maybe this would let her get on with her life, just the way it should have been before him, before Ginny and before the vodka. Harry knew he'd probably be miserable for the rest of his life but he would rather have Hermione furious at him but happy with Ron than waiting for the day he would leave Ginny. A day because of this accident he knew might never come.

The fact Harry didn't answer made Hermione's mind race. Did he actually think she should marry Ron? Was he too hurt to answer? Did he not love her enough to fight for her? Did he love her at all? She shook her head half in pain, half in disbelief choking back the tears again.

"Fine." She said her voice cracking "I guess I better get home. Ron and I are going out tonight." It was a lie. She wouldn't go anywhere for a while.

Opening the door she allowed herself one last longing look before stepping outside and apparating away letting the door close with one hollow swing. Harry couldn't bare to watch her go and so gripped tightly onto his coffee table when he heard the door slam he felt himself shake. That was it, she was gone, he'd never be able to kiss her or get close enough to smell her wonderful strawberry scent again. He didn't know how he'd manage seeing her all the time and not wanting her. In a fit of frustration he pushed the table away from him causing the vase on it to shatter and break on the ground. He hadn't really liked it anyway. Then he walked over to the couch grabbed the bottle of vodka next to it and began to drink.

--

Looking back Hermione couldn't really recall the days after Harry broke her heart. They passed in a haze of pain in which she barely functioned. She took a few days off work – they owed her anyway – and was closed off to the world. She said that the stomach bug was still bothering her and indeed it was but it was the depression that really kept her in bed. The one tiny miniscule upside was that all this laying around gave her time to think, time to sort out her head and do what did she did best, _plan. _For the first time since this whole affair began she was now listening to her head and not her heart which had been severely broken into insignificant pieces and stomped upon. She thought the whole thing through: Ron, Harry, the proposal _everything. _Hermione had come to the conclusion that she wasn't going to give Harry the satisfaction of being right this time. Every since she had known him he had been right, he was the golden boy, the one who could do no wrong – well in the eyes of people who mattered – he was the fucking boy who lived to become the best Auror recruit the system had ever seen. Well she decided that he wouldn't be right about this. He would regret letting her go. She was calling his bluff.

What did it matter anyway? She said to him she was marrying Ron and she would stick by that now. If Harry was bluffing saying she was right to marry Ron he'd eventually give in and they could go from there. If he was too proud or he wasn't bluffing and it was the end then it didn't really matter to Hermione. She might as well follow Harry's advice and marry Ron. After all she knew she'd never love anyone else as much as she loved Harry so why not? Why not keep everyone happy and have Ron who loved her instead of Harry who didn't love her enough? She'd be resigned to a life of wanting someone she couldn't have anyway, if he wasn't bluffing all she could do now was keep the peace. Salvage the six year relationship she'd had with sweet loving Ron who was crazy about her and find a way to live with what she'd done.

So basically she was still praying Harry would come to his senses. She could see it now. Her wedding day, there she would be in her white gown walking down the isle Ron waiting for her when all of a sudden Harry would shout stop, confess his undying love and whisk her away to live happily every after. Yeah right Hermione. She pushed her 'heart' logic away, hadn't she learned her lesson already?

After three days in bed she decided she'd finally go and see Ginny. It would be her first step back to normality; she just prayed Harry wouldn't be there. She didn't know if she could face him just yet, if ever. Nonsense she'd have to see him soon whether she liked it or not. She wasn't sure yet which one it would be.

She couldn't deny she still loved him.

That morning she dressed and went about her routine slowly as if in a trance. She kept drifting off thinking about how to get past the next moment without it hurting. When she was finally dressed and ready she had to take a few deep breaths to stop her shaking before she apparated to the hospital.

"You can do this Hermione." She mumbled to herself. "Don't stay long, just in quick hello, quick check on Ginny and home again…nothing too stressful."

She closed her eyes and swallowed hard, it helped keep back the tears that just appeared from time to time. When she was finally steady she let the tube-like sensation whisk her away.

When she opened her eyes again she was standing in the busy lobby of St. Mungos.  
"Sign in please." Said a bored voice of the healer who on the desk behind her. Hermione dutifully singed her name on a clipboard in her usual neat flowery writing. There, fine nothing amiss: completely normal everything going good so far. She'd got through the first few seconds.

"Hermione, glad to see you're feeling better." Said the familiar cheerful voice of George Weasley from behind her.

"Thanks George, how's Ginny?" she asked turning round to face him. His face was drawn and pale, he looked incredibly tired and had a hot paper cup of coffee in his hands. He took a long gulp of it before answering.

"The healers say there's more brain activity the last few days so I think that's a good thing. Come on and I'll walk you up."

"Who's all in?" Hermione asked trying to seem nonchalant as possible as they entered the elevator.

"Just me and Fred and Ron. Dad finally got mum home for a break." He replied.

"No Harry?" She said trying to keep her voice from cracking.

"He came by last night, looked pretty bad. Poor guy, he's really a mess over this. I guess we all are but he's taking it the worst. I think he feels responsible, I think he still wants to save everyone." George said shaking his head as the doors opened on level five.

"_Yeah I bet he's taking __it real hard." _ Hermione thought bitterly when they entered the room.

Ron gave her a weak, awkward smile and Fred nodded in her direction. Wordlessly she took a seat and clasped Ginny's hand. She definitely looked better than she had a few days ago. The colour had returned to her cheeks and every now and then she would twitch.

"Hey George fancy going to entertain the kids in the children's ward again?" Fred asked.

"They seemed to get a laugh out of us didn't they?" George replied.

"Are you sure that's a good idea? That Healer had to ask you to tone it down last time." Ron piped.

"That was because we accidentally slipped one of them a Nose-bleed nugget. We'll check if any of them are haemophiliacs before we cause any unnecessary bleeding." Fred told him "Come on George."

When the twins had left, Ron and Hermione were left alone in silence. Ron couldn't even look at her; he felt he would burst waiting for her answer. Finally he couldn't take it anymore.

"Hermione..." He began sounding almost in pain.

"You don't have to worry." Hermione said putting him out of his misery "The answers yes."

Ron slid back in his chair astonished. Had she actually just said yes? He was stunned into silence but only for a few moments before he broke into a genuine smile.

"That's bloody brilliant!" he exclaimed running over to her pulling her from the seat, picking her up and swinging her round before planting the biggest kiss he had ever given her on her lips. He was blissfully happy. Too bad Hermione didn't feel the same way. She covered it well though. Right in the middle Ron's lavish kiss the door opened. Harry stood awkwardly in the entrance.

"Harry mate!" Ron said beaming "Guess what? We're engaged!"

Ron stood, his clueless stupid grin plastered all over his face as he slipped an arm around Hermione who was looking into Harry's emerald eyes.

"That's great." Harry said with a seemingly genuine smile on his face. But her never broke eye contact with Hermione. Her chocolate eyes shining only slightly, she saw through the mask he held up, she knew every detail of his emerald orbs and they told her the true story.

"Oh god I have to go tell Fred and George! They said I'd never get married! I'll be back in I bit!" he said excitedly "I love you so much 'Mione."

When he had left the room Harry and Hermione were still staring at each other. So many things said in the silence. Finally Hermione couldn't take it anymore; she looked away and brushed by him. Before she got to the door he spoke.

"Congratulations." He mumbled and she stopped in a similar fashion as she had earlier that week.

"Don't patronise me Harry." She said and swiftly left.

--

_A/n - Please don't hurt me?! Some of you may not like the fact that Hermione has moved on to Ron, you probably see it as a huge mistake on her part but hey she's only human. Remember that the one person she truly loves has broke her heart and she's looking for reassurance and stability which to her is Ron and she figures that if she cant be happy she might as well sacrifice herself for others happiness! She is a Gryffindor after all and Harry told her too. Well that's the way I see it. I understand if you are cursing me right now…but I assure you all will be resolved…well maybe. Lol _

_I also split this chapter into two, I originally had Hermione figuring the pregnancy in this chapter but it was going to be too long so I delayed it. _

_Up next, Hermione finds out and Ron and Harry have a little chat? Plus some other stuff! _

_Review Review Review! _

_Performanceaddict _

_x_


	15. Chapter 15

_A/n - __Well that last chapter certainly got you all reviewing fast eh? 200 reviews I'm so happy! Never thought I'd get that far! Some hated me, some knew it was coming and understood, some have stopped reading but alas it was planned from the start. In fact I first had the idea for the story based on not this chapter but the next I think. Any way this chapter has a lot more twists and turns in it than even I knew! And a few of you wanted Krum to show up! Great idea but the way the plot goes I'm afraid I cannot use it. Maybe another story. But dennisud I did use another of your ideas but just in a very different way! Thanks! _

_Enjoy x_

_**Chapter 15**_

Hermione ran from the room tears already flowing freely down her cheeks. She was starting to feel light headed and warm. In her opinion she was royally screwed and it was starting to make her feel ill or was that just her stomach. Either way she had to get to the toilet.

"_Oh God what if Ron sees me crying!" _ She thought frantically as she trundled down the corridor short of breath. She had to slow down she had to stop but the bathroom was so close. If she could only make it past this one corridor. Suddenly her vision blurred, her head swam and everything went black.

--

Harry was left standing speechless in the centre of the room. It was the second time Hermione had walked out on him. To be honest he was starting to get tired of it. After all he was _trying _to do what was best for her. He was _trying _to be the good guy. He was offering Hermione a life he couldn't give her and being loyal to Ginny and noble and all that other crap he'd done for years and years of his life. Didn't Hermione understand he was giving up his happiness? Didn't she know he loved her? He sighed and shook his head just as Ron came bounding back through the door.

"Why so glum mate? You're going to be a best man!" Ron said chirpily. Harry didn't answer but slumped down on the seat next to the sleeping Ginny.

"Look I know this must be difficult, with Ginny and everything. I know it's hard to be happy for me and 'Mione when all this is happening but please Harry for me, could you try?" Ron said thinking he understood everything that was going on. He had done it ever since Harry met him and it always annoyed him. But he bit his tongue. However Ron continued.

"I mean me and Hermione are happy of course but if you could just see past Ginny lying in that bed I'm sure you'll che-"

"It's not about Ginny!" Harry said in a low voice cutting him off. He had had enough.

"Then what's it about?" Ron asked sharply.

"Nothing." He replied looking away towards Ginny.

"Tell me Harry what's this really about?"

"Leave it Ron." Harry said darkly.

"No! I won't." Said Ron childishly. "I want to know why you just can't be pleased for me! Finally I do _something _before you or I have a better relationship than you and you can't stand it. You're miserable at the thought of me being happy!"

"What?" Harry said in disbelief. "I thought you got over all this stuff years ago. You and I both know that it's not about you being happy or getting married before me or anything like that!"

"What is it about then Harry?" Ron demanded.

"Well if you really want to know I just can't believe you were stupid enough to ask her." He told Ron. His tone icy cold.

"What do you mean stupid enough to ask?"

"Less than a fortnight ago you told me that you and Hermione were having serious problems. Ding dong reason one not to ask. A proposal isn't going to just make everything better." Harry explained agitated. "Secondly you told me you weren't any where near marriage. For god sake Ron you haven't even asked her to move in with you!" Harry started to yell "And really sometimes I wonder if you even pay attention to Hermione!" he was off now; there was no stopping this word vomit. "Come on Ron, what's her favourite cereal? Her favourite flower? Colour even? Why does she think Ringo was the best Beatle? Who are her friends at work? Does she get along with her secretary? Did you know that she always dog ears the middle page in her book because she read somewhere it was lucky? And always puts a piece of silver in a new purse? Or that she twists her curls when she's nervous or trying not to show she's upset? But only bites her lip when she's trying not to cry?" This was definitely going to have some bad repercussions "Do you know that she wanted to be a doctor before she discovered magic? That she loves Kate Winslet but despises Keira Knightly? That she gets seasick riding a broom? It's the little things Ron, you've known her for over a decade but you've never learned to listen. If you don't know any of these Ron then why are you marrying her? Why ask now? What has changed in two bloody weeks!?"

Ron remained silent looking at the floor, his head a buzz.

"Because of this Harry." He said gesturing to Ginny. "Because proposing is the only way she'll know how much I love her and she has to know. She has to know because if she didn't and something like this happened to her then I'd never be able to forgive myself."

"You're making a mistake." Harry spat back at him.

"You just think that because you don't think I'm good enough for her." Childish Ron appeared to be back "It's been the same since we were in school. You always were protective of her. Always took her side in a fight and you still do! You don't think I'm man enough for her, if I didn't know any better I'd think you were in love with my fiancé!"

"That's bollocks Ron!" Harry said, the words leaving a bitter taste in his mouth as they left.

"Of course it is!" Ron sneered back at him. "Because she loves _me_! She wants _me_! She said yes to _me_!"

Just then there was a knock at the door. Standing there was a very pale faced Cormic McClaggen with a bunch of flowers.

"Cormic?" Said Ron bewildered.

"Eh…hi um guys. Just dropped buy to give these to Ginny." He stuttered out shifting nervously. "Didn't think anyone would be here at lunch time. They're eh from the team…you know…to um…"

"It's a nice thought." Said Harry "But Ginny doesn't like Roses. She says they're a bit too personal."

"I well…it was the erm…team…I'm just the messenger really." Said Cormic looking at his shoes.

"Right." Ron replied raising an eye brow. He was about to continue but everyone froze as a small groan came from behind them. A small groan from Ginny.

--

"I said you're pregnant Miss Granger." Said the Healer in the light pink robes.

"I heard you the first time." She replied. _"Why does no one give me the chance to think!" _

"But…how?" Hermione asked her mind racing "Wait don't answer that, I know how."

"You're not very far along, only about five or six weeks. We'll know more after you take this potion. I take it this was not a planned pregnancy?" The healer asked and Hermione shook her head. How could she be pregnant? She was always so careful! Even with Harry she had always remembered the charm hadn't she? Five or six weeks, she racked her brain trying to remember. Then it hit her. Of course it had been almost six weeks since Harry and she got together. Six weeks since Harry and she _drunkenly _got together. She realised then why people say that drunken sex never ends well. It certainly didn't for her. She felt queasy again and wondered how she didn't figure all this out before. She supposed she just rationalised away all the signs. Like the morning sickness she put down to bad flu bug that had been going around.

"_Well everyone at the office has it…" _she thought.

And the fact that she was two weeks late she put down to the stress with Ginny and Harry. That's what her body did when she was stressed, it had happened a lot with school exams nothing to get worried about especially when she thought she was being so careful. She shook her head.

"You really should have been checked out before this. You have quite low blood pressure which I'm afraid is what caused your fainting. Now if you'd like to give me a strand of your hair Miss Granger I can find out exactly when you're due." The Healer said and Hermione nodded breaking off a little curly wisp. The Healer dropped it into a simmering small blue potion which began to swirl.

"You're due the third of February." The healer told her after a few minutes. "Would you like to know the sex?" She asked.

"No." Said Hermione. It didn't really matter anyway; she knew what she was going to do. "Where's the nearest clinic?"

"Clinic?" The Healer asked absentmindedly placing a stethoscope on Hermione's chest.

"You know _clinic._" Hermione repeated.

"Oh…" Said the Healer sadly surprised. "Well we have one here in St. Mungo's for that sort of thing but there are other options Miss Granger."

"I'm afraid there aren't for me." She said she'd made up her mind. Hermione always knew if something like this happened to her exactly what she'd do. She was very much in the way of thinking that it was her body and she'd do what she damn well liked with it.

"You only just found out why don't you give it a few days? There are other things you could do. There's adoption or keeping the baby even." The Healer urged her.

"Sorry but my minds made up. It has been for years." Hermione said firmly.

"Miss Granger I am also a councillor here why don't we have a proper talk about this. My name is Rowena by the way. Can I ask if the baby's father is around?"

"It's complicated." Hermione replied.

"I see complicated all the time Miss Granger why don't you tell me about it."

Hermione sighed. She decided what the hell maybe getting some of this off her chest would help her feel better.

"He's in the picture but not in the picture if that makes sense." Hermione said bitterly. Nope didn't make her feel better just angrier "And it just so happens I'm engaged to his best friend so alright tell me what my options are?" Hermione said hotly. "I either get rid of this baby or I wait out the next eight months praying it has brown curly hair and not jet black with green eyes! Get married with a massive bump cause I'm sure that'll go great with my wedding dress! Or how about I break it off with my fiancé? Then I'd be alone? The father has already made it perfectly clear that we can't be together! All this would do would make him feel even guiltier. And I can't do that to him because he's my best friend too and I still love him!" Hermione said tears streaming down her face. "How's that for complicated _councillor_? Now get me a bloody appointment at that clinic!"

Rowena nodded deciding it was rather dangerous to fight with a pregnant hormonal Hermione Granger even if she was just in a paper nightgown. She swiftly left the room leaving Hermione alone with her thoughts. When she returned she had a clipboard in her hand.

"Here are a list of all the possible dates Miss Granger." She said quietly.

"If I don't do it today then the next one isn't for another three weeks!" Hermione exclaimed. She knew she had to do this soon or she wouldn't be able to but she still wanted a little time to think things through didn't she?

"That's right." Said the Healer thinking she'd won.

"Fine. Today it is." Hermione said firmly and the Healer nodded sadly.

"Well if you'd like to gather up your things then we'll head along to the ward." The Healer said and Hermione did so. The walk along the quiet corridor seemed to be the longest Hermione had ever taken. Her mind was racing. Could she really do this? Could she get rid of something just like that? Could she get rid of a baby, Harry's baby? Hadn't she dreamed that she'd have his child one day? She felt like an iron ring was squeezing her heart as they arrived and Rowena left her, leaving her with a male healer in black robes.

"Now Miss Granger. It's just a simple out patient procedure, we put you under after you've taken a potion and you wont feel a thing, of course you will have to stay overnight. Now if you'll just come this wa-"

"GEORGE WEASLEY! GEORGE WEASLEY CALLING! ANSWER YOUR PHONE GEOR-" Came the ringing from her magically enhanced cell phone from inside her jeans pocket.

"Sorry, sorry wont be a minute." Hermione said hastily digging around in her clothes for her phone. Finally found it and opened it.

"Yeah what is it?" she asked.

"HERMIONE??! Can-you-hear-me!"

"I can hear you George there's no need to shout!" Hermione yelled back.

"Oh right sorry." He said.

"What is it? Is everything alright?" Hermione asked worried.

"You have to come quick it's Ginny." He told her.

"Ginny?" She said nervously.

"Yeah. She's awake."

--

_I must say this was my favourite chapter so far to write. I hadn't planned on the Ron/Harry spat__ or even considered the fact that Hermione might want to get rid of the baby! It just sort of seemed right. She's a very practical person even though she's caring and loving. Faced with all the options she won't always do the noblest thing. It's the tiny bit of Ravenclaw in her. I think she'd have very strong opinions on such a serious matter of abortion but I myself was surprised at the way she went. Just shows you that your own characters can surprise you!_

_Well anyway hopefully get another chapter up in a few days. I might even start it right now since I'm on a roll!_

_Review's as always are appreciated! _

_Performanceaddict x _


	16. Chapter 16

_A/n: I have had major computer issues and a report worth 50 percent of my college grade is due in on Friday. Still I apologise for the wait! To make up for it here is my longest chapter yet! _

_Recap: Last chapter Hermione found she was pregnant and almost aborted the baby but got a call that Ginny had woken up. _

_Here's what happens next!_

_Enjoy x_

Chapter 16

Ginny opened her eyes and groaned. Merlin what a hangover. What the hell did she do last night? She must have been ploughed to feel this bad were her first thoughts. Then she realised she wasn't in her bed, this wasn't her room or even a hotel room and why did her back hurt so badly?

"Ginny? Ginny?" Came the frantic voice she recognised as Harry's. What was going on?

"Harry is that you?" she said in a croaky voice.

"I'm here Gin don't worry." He said soothingly and she felt him take her hand.

"What happened?" she said looking around her vision coming into focus.

"You don't remember?" Said Ron from the other side of her. What was Ron doing here? She shook her head.

"There was an accident Gin. You've been asleep for nearly a fortnight." Harry explained gently all the previous anger gone.

"An accident? What kind of accident?" she said trying to sit up but found she was too weak.

"You were hit by a car…" Ron told her. "Mum and the Healers are on their way in."

"Excuse me Mr. Weasley." Said a Healer appearing at the door on cue. "I have to check her vital signs."

The brown haired Healer bustled her way past the circle of family members around the bed and placed some sort of stethoscope – or at least as far as Harry could tell – on Ginny's chest and shined a miniature torch into her pupils. Next he checked a large looking machine she was hooked up to and eventually nodded to himself.

"Miss Weasley can you hear me?" he asked and she nodded. "Do you have any pain anywhere?"

"No…" she replied weakly.

"Can you clench your fists and toes for me?" he asked and she did so after a moment.

"It's tiring." She said and he murmured something and noted it down on his chart.

"What is the last thing you remember?" he asked and Ginny hesitated.

"I…erm…not much, fighting with Harry and then it's a bit blurry flashing lights mostly." She lied. Ginny remembered almost exactly what was going on now, she remembered leaving the hotel room, the car and slipping in and out of consciousness in the Magical Ambulance. However if she said she didn't remember she didn't have to come up with an explanation as to why she was in a hotel parking lot. If she didn't know, who would? Everyone would just assume it was work related and she wouldn't need to think of a story. Even lying in the hospital bed she was crafty.

"Right. Don't worry it's not unusual after trauma." The Healer said finally. "I'll get the consultant in soon to give you a physical check up and we'll run some tests but have some time with your family just now."

As the Healer left Mr and Mrs Weasley entered the room.

"Ginny!" Molly cried running over to her daughters bedside knocking a very quiet Cormic McClaggen out of the way. Tears were had all round for the next half hour as more and more family members bustled in to see the 'miracle' as Molly Weasley had proclaimed it. Everyone was glowing in the tiny room.

Gradually Hermione made her way away from Ginny's bedside and walked out of the claustrophobic area. Outside she found McClaggen leaning on the wall.

"It was nice of you to drop by." She said to him casually, although curious as to why exactly it was he that was here. There were other people on the team that Ginny was closer to Hermione thought.

"Yeah…well…you know." He said shiftily.

"No not really." She replied sharply, there was something going on. Finally he answered.

"I should really be off." He mumbled "Tell Ginny I stopped by, I don't think she noticed I was here…quite understandable of course."

"I'll give her the message." Hermione told him and he scuffled away down the hallway.

Hermione sighed; perhaps she was just making up something strange to keep her mind off her own problems. She was so confused. In the room sometime in the last half hour she had had an epiphany. Maybe it was Ginny waking up that made her see the preciousness and the wonder of life. She realized that getting rid of the baby was not the way to go. It was hers, her child a part of her and she didn't think she could actually go through with it now. She had let her heart mull it over and it was telling her no. However this now presented more problems. How would Harry react? Should she even tell Harry? What about Ron? Surely she couldn't marry him now?

As she was lost in her thoughts a Healer walked by her going to go into the room but stopped. He was a tall handsome man with brown hair and a kind face and he gazed through the window for a second at the Weasley's and Harry.

"I think I should give them another five minutes, don't you?" he said to Hermione which jolted her from her whirling mind.

"Hmm?" she asked not really hearing them the first time.

"I said perhaps I should give them some more time to celebrate." He said with a smile.

"Oh, yes." She said quietly barely looking up. "They'd appreciate it very much."

"Wow…" He replied and she gave him a questioning glance. "I'm just amazed to see someone who's having as bad a day as me."

Hermione gave a short laugh, he didn't know the half of it.

"No, no it's a very good day." She lied. "That's one of my best friends in there. She's just woke up, I'm just a tad overwhelmed."

"Liar." He said but not in a nasty way. "You may be glad she has woken up but you're still having a bad day."

"That obvious?" she asked.

"Just to the trained eye." He said. "Consultant Healer Theodore Johnston but call me Theo."

"Hermione Granger." She moved to hold out her hand but he had turned his attention back to the room.

"You know I'll give it half an hour." Theo said. "Fancy some bad hospital coffee?"

"I'm kind of…involved." She said not knowing where this sudden defensiveness had come from.

"Well I'm rather unavailable too." He said with a chuckle. "But I'm in need of a caffeine fix and don't really want to spend my break on my own. Besides I'm a good listener."

Hermione looked him up and down. What could it hurt? Perhaps telling a complete stranger her problems would help. She let out a long sigh.

"Alright then."

---

"So you're keeping a secret from two of your best friends." Theo said running his hands through his brown hair. He levitated two paper cups, a coffee pot and milk over to the table in the empty cafeteria.

"Yes but that's all you're getting out of me." She said sternly but with a smile as the coffee pot tipped in mid air and filled her cup.

"Really?" he said and raised an eyebrow ignoring his own freshly brewed coffee.

"Well what else could I tell you?" Hermione said.

"Well you could tell me what the secret is I suppose?" he asked, but then shook his head. "Nah too personal, you could tell me about your friends, maybe I could help prepare you for how they're going to react?"

Hermione thought about this for a while as she sipped her coffee. It could help. He was a healer he knew how people ticked. A fresh look couldn't hurt.

"Fine. I've known both of them since I was 11 years old. We've been through so much together; I mean really you have no idea. I'm engaged to one…" she hesitated wondering what else she should say. "And…I'm in love with the other."

"Ah." Theo said "That's a predicament."

Hermione nodded and looked away.

"And this 'other one' does he love you back?" he asked.

"I thought he did but I realised it's not enough. There are things happening which mean we can't be together but at the same time I don't think I can get married anymore even though Harry told me to." She explained a tear rolling down her cheek. She sniffed and hastily wiped it away. "Listen to me babbling on. I must be boring you."

"Not at all." He said softly "I'm a great believer in love. It sounds cheesy but I'm one of those all you need is love, Shakespeare had the right idea – true love never dies kind of guy. It's always enough and if you try to keep yourselves apart it will only cause you pain. If I were you I'd out all the secrets and take it from there. If you're as close to your friends as you say they'll come around no matter what."

Hermione drained the rest of her coffee. She'd said this to herself so many times but if Harry was with Ginny what could she do? Still perhaps it would be helpful to come clean. She'd tell both Harry and Ron about the baby. She had to. They'd been loyal friends to her for so many years; she couldn't keep lying to them both. She sighed and nodded.

"You're right." She said "Secrets aren't the way to go. Thank you, you've been a great help."

"I have my uses." He said smiling and then his sighed as his wand started to glow. "Ah the medicine calls."

"Oh but you haven't even touched your coffee!" Hermione exclaimed disappointed.

"That's alright. I hardly ever do. Thank you for the company Miss Granger." He said turning and left. Hermione sat at the table for another ten minutes rehearsing in her mind what she was going to say to Harry and Ron. She wasn't looking forward to it. She decided she wouldn't do it today. No, she'd let everyone celebrate Ginny's miraculous recovery before dropping this particular bombshell. She then made her way back to the room full of teary eyed joyfulness and cheerfulness feeling like she did so much these days, completely out of place.

---

A week later Hermione still hadn't said anything. She kept telling herself it wasn't the right time but in reality she was chickening out. She just kept replaying it over in her head. The reactions she would get. Hermione didn't know if she could bare it. It was alright talking about telling everyone with some complete stranger but this was essentially her life as she knew it she was jeopardising. Hermione knew if she told everyone the truth things would change irrefutably. But then she realised things had changed. She was pregnant with a baby who was not her fiancé's and in love with a man who didn't love her back.

Finally she forced herself suck it up and get on with it. It was a Wednesday afternoon and she knew Harry would be the only one visiting Ginny at this time. She stood outside the door next to the assistant healer's station and waited to grab him when he went for a cup of coffee. Her knees were already shaking and she'd only been there five minutes. Perhaps she needed a pep talk? Yes that was it, she needed reassurance that she was doing the right thing and not wrecking over a decade of friendship for nothing. She looked around to see if Healer Theo was about. To her surprise she hadn't seen him all week.

"Excuse me." She said to an assistant healer who was flipping through some paperwork. She was a young efficient looking woman with red robes. "Do you know if Healer Theo is around? Or what department he works in?"

The assistant healer gave her a questioning look and furrowed her brow.

"Healer Theo?" the healer repeated and Hermione nodded. "Sorry I don't know anyone by that name."

"Are you sure?" Hermione asked confused.

"Hey Jackie is there a Healer Theo anywhere?" the woman called to another assistant healer a little way down the station.

"Not that I can recall…" the second woman said "What does he look like?"

"He's tall, rather handsome with brown hair." Hermione replied and the woman Jackie blinked.

"You don't mean Theodore Johnston?" Jackie said.

"Yes I think that's his full name." Hermione stated.

"You mean was. Healer Johnston died last year." Jackie explained "Terribly sad really, his wife worked in the department of mysteries and got hit by a nasty curse and so he tried some mystical transference spell…saved his wife but died himself." Jackie explained.

"But…but that's not possible." Hermione said astonished.

"I'm afraid it is love. Sorry, hope you didn't know him well." Said Jackie and started off along the corridor with the other Assistant Healer.

Hermione stood against the station flabbergasted. She had just talked with him the other day. He didn't even look like a ghost. He wasn't transparent and he could do magic! Hermione wracked her brain. She remembered vaguely that energies were stronger in hospitals than anywhere else, purely because of the amount of spirits that pass through. She recalled reading a phrase on ghosts that if energy was strong enough a ghost could seem almost alive and even conjure up basic spells…

She snapped out of her thought process as Harry walked out of the room. His head was bowed and he seemed not to notice her. She shook herself. Hearing Theo's story about love and self sacrifice had touched her and made her more adamant about being truthful with Harry. She called to him.

"Harry…" she said and he stopped and turned around. It was the first time she had spoken to him directly in over a week.

"Yeah?" he said not taking his eyes from the ground.

"Can we talk?"

---

Harry was roughly pulled into a supply closet. The room was full of steel instruments and there was only one light bulb illuminating the room. Still Hermione seemed to glow. His skin was still hot even though she had only touched his wrist for a second. He was resisting the urge to grab her and bury his head in her curls and break down into her arms. They were silent for a full minute until Harry felt like he would burst.

"You said you wanted to talk…" he said more harshly than he meant.

"Yeah I did…" she said quietly, biting her lower lip. How Harry had missed that. It meant she was thinking. He loved it when she thought. He unconsciously took a step towards her.

"Look I have something I have to tell you." She began, she was beginning to flush. Harry missed that too, it reminded him of the very first time they had kissed. Her cheeks were red with wine and her skin warm with passion. Harry longed kiss her just once more.

"It…it's big and I don't know how you're going to react." She continued but he was barely listening, just being alone with her again was bringing back so many memories. So many things he missed and hadn't stopped missing since the day she walked out of his apartment. He felt like there was an iron bar around his heart that was tightening. She was so close only about a meter away in the small supply room and yet he couldn't have her. Couldn't hold her, couldn't touch her, couldn't loose himself and all his problems in her warm smile. He had such an emotional rollercoaster of a week and now all he wanted was Hermione. To know he couldn't was killing him.

"I've thought long and hard about the situation but I'm still not quite sure where my life's going to go from here." She was still talking all the while edging closer to Harry. Was it possible she felt the same pull as him again? Of course it was, he knew it was. His eyes despite himself were welling up, all the pain and hurt and confusion was about to burst from him.

"Harry I don't know how to tell you this." She said almost in a whisper as they were only inches apart now. "I'm…I'm-"

But she never finished the sentence as all at once her lips were on his. Crashing and pushing in a wonderful passion Harry had longed for. His tears mixed with hers as he entered her mouth with his tongue and let a hand move up her neck run through her curls. They continued to kiss for another few moments before Harry regained control and broke apart.

"I…I cant." He said before tearing himself away and forcing himself to walk out of the closet. Hermione was left alone. She backed against a shelf full of instruments for support. That didn't go according to plan.

_Hardest chapter to write so far! Last chapter really got you guys reviewing too. Some again didn't like it; some knew where I was coming from! But as you can see I had her keep the baby…even though I am pro choice and it wouldn't be what I'd do in that situation I can tell you! Anyway enough politics talk! Oh Theo too just came out of my head from nowhere, i just felt it was important that someone was there to help her make a decision. Someone who wouldnt go running to Rita Skeeter! _

_Chapter 17 is another rollercoaster ride I think and as we near the end (only about 4-5 chapters left) all I can say is hold on tight! _

_Next up: Harry makes a decision Hermione isn't happy about, Ginny could possibly get out of hospital – not sure yet – and Hermione's conversation with Ron! _

_Looking forward to those reviews! _

_Performanceaddict x_


	17. Chapter 17

A/n – Well we've finally reached the point that gave me the catalyst for this story. I'm afraid I can't take all the credit for the Harry/Hermione interaction at the end as I saw the scene on one of my favourite TV shows and just thought omg such a Hhr scene! And thus this fict was born! Still everything else is my idea. Sorry about the long delay!

Hope you like!

Chapter 17

"Sir I need this." Harry said a note of pleading in his voice.

"But Harry you're doing great here. I don't understand this, you're top of your class." Lodgeville said shaking his head.

"I know but we all need a change of scenery from time to time and I think this is one of those times. So I'm asking you as a friend and a student, please can you make the call?" Harry pleaded and Lodgeville shook his head.

"Alright but I really wish you would change your mind." Said Lodgeville with a sigh. "Can I ask what has prompted this sudden request?"

Harry sank further into his chair. He knew exactly why he needed out. He needed to be somewhere anywhere else, somewhere far away from Hermione as much as it hurt. He couldn't be around her, couldn't keep wanting her. Besides the Healers had said a warmer climate would help Ginny recover.

"Ginny's doctors say that the on coming winter will aggravate the pins in her back and slow her recovery." Harry explained looking away.

"I see." Was Lodeville's stoic answer. "Well I'll Floo the Head office tomorrow but I wish you'd reconsider."

"So do I." He murmured. Then Harry stood and half-heartedly shook Lodgeville's hand, thanking him for everything. Lodgeville merely nodded and watched his best and brightest recruit walk out the door.

---

It had been two days since the incident. That was what Hermione was calling it. _The incident. _She couldn't believe she had been so weak, so powerless had let herself be drawn in once again. Her lips still tingled no matter how much she wished they wouldn't. No matter how much she tried to put Harry out of her head the tingling continued bringing him back.

Still she had to compose herself. Ron was due to come over any minute. She was going to drop the bomb, well try to at least. Last time she tried telling someone she was pregnant it ended in disaster, disaster that she could still taste. She didn't know how Ron would take the news that she was pregnant with someone else's child. That she had cheated on him. Maybe he would be too shocked to say anything? Maybe he would yell and scream and shout? Especially when she would refuse to tell him who the father was. Perhaps she could make it easier on him. Perhaps she could tell him that she herself didn't know, that she'd been a complete slut and slept around. She was already going to be shamed, did it really matter if she made herself look worse to protect Harry? To protect Harry and Ron's friendship. Anything was better than the truth. Ron was already going to loose her it wasn't fair he should loose Harry too.

She was woken from her thoughts by a knock at the door. Hermione's stomach gave a lurch. This was it. Taking a deep breath she got up off the couch and opened the door. Ron walked in and gave her a peck on the cheek. Her skin did not tingle.

"Hey love." He said flopping down on the couch. She stayed at the entrance to the living room for a moment. She was hovering between rooms, between existing and not existing, the point of no return.

"Now what's all this about needing to talk to me?" he said chirpily his eyes bright and attentive. He was still glowing from Ginny's recovery, everyone was and now Hermione was going to be the dark cloud of doom. "You sounded so serious in the fireplace, I hope you're not getting cold feet about marrying me." He continued jokingly. Hermione shook her head and forcibly smiled taking a seat on the chair next to him. She tried to push a flashback of Harry and her making love on that chair out of her mind. She gulped and tried to look up at Ron.

"Hermione…what is it?" he said concerned. Not really like Ron at all. "You look so sad."

And she was. She was about to end a relationship that spanned over a decade and it was all her fault. She had been weak, she'd given into Harry time and time again and all she had to show for it was a broken life and a broken heart.

"I have something to tell you Ron." She said her voice cracking. Ron leaned forward in his seat his red hair flopping in front of his face his eyes loosing a bit of their sparkle.

"Mione you're worrying me." He said but Hermione silenced him by holding up a hand.

"I'm pregnant Ron." She without further explanation. It was out now. She waited for the penny to drop and looked away. There was a long silence before she heard Ron lean back in his seat.

"Wow…" he said. Not the reaction she expected. "That's…that's amazing!"

Definitely not the reaction she expected. Hermione looked up and eyed him curiously. "I mean it's a bit soon, since we're not even married yet but we're going to have a baby."

No. Surely he didn't think…surely she didn't have to explain. Hermione saw the smile of joy break onto his face and he jumped up. Apparently she did have to explain.

"No, Ron you don't-" she began but he cut her off with a kiss, wrapping his arms around her. She was trapped as he explored her mouth with his tongue. It almost made her sick. Finally he let her go.

"You had me worried Hermione I'll give you that." He said still going a hundred miles an hour. She couldn't get a word in edge wise. "We haven't had sex in so long I thought maybe you didn't love me anymore but now I understand. I remember hearing that pregnant women don't feel sexy and they can get self-conscious in the bedroom. They loose interest in sex sometimes. It's all so clear!" he said and Hermione looked at him in disbelief. She had to put an end to this now.

"Ronald you have to listen to me-" But she was cut off again by his ramblings.

"You don't have to worry Hermione I know you might not feel in the mood or sexy but to me you're the most beautiful girl around!" he said smiling and for a moment her heart softened "And I'll be a great dad, I promise." He sounded almost childlike. "I will, I'll take care of both of you. I know it's a bit soon but I love you and everything will be fine."

Now she wanted to say something. She really did but the sincerity of his words and the joy in his eyes stopped her voice in her throat. She couldn't break his heart. She couldn't cause him pain and put him through exactly what she was going through.

"Please Hermione say something." Ron said to her.

"You'll be a brilliant dad." She choked out the false smile going back on her face. Maybe this could work. If Harry didn't say anything and she didn't say anything then maybe just maybe she'd have a chance. She'd marry Ron like everyone expected, they'd have a baby like everyone expected and they'd live on the outside at least happily ever after like everyone expected. After all who was going to know unless the child came out with curly black hair and emerald green eyes. And if it did she'd deal with that problem then. So there she was again. Right back in the same position as she was months ago. Giving up her own happiness for everyone else. The bloody self sacrificing Gryffindor, then again what did it matter she'd never be happy anyway. Ron enveloped her again in a massive hug. Hermione felt claustrophobic. This was going to be her life.

"How far along are you 'Mione?" he asked patting her belly. She inwardly sighed.

"About 7 weeks." She lied. She was only about five but that was the last time she and Ron had sex. Babies missed their due dates all the time. She would be fine. Ron nodded and looked at her dotingly.

"I'm so happy right now." Hermione didn't reply to this but just kept smiling.

"Everything's going so great right now." He continued "Ginny waking up, us planning a wedding, the baby, Harry's promotion-"

"Harry's promotion?" Hermione asked curiously.

"Yeah didn't he tell you?" Ron said and Hermione shook her head. "His boss gave him this big opportunity to go to America, California I think and take up the deputy Head Auror job over there. He's taking it to help Ginny too. You know what the Healers said."

It was like the whole world had stopped. Harry was leaving. He would be on a whole different continent from her, an ocean away. She could barely cope not seeing him for a week, how would she be able to survive now. Even if they had all their junk going on he was still there. She would still see him, be in his presence. She felt sick again.

"Hermione are you alright?"

She blinked the tears away and choked down the lump in her throat.

"That's great…" she said through gritted teeth. "When does he leave?"

"A month. He's waiting for Ginny to be well enough to travel." Ron said "Don't worry though 'Mione they're just going to be a Floo away and they'll be back for the wedding and the baby obviously. I know it'll be hard without Ginny here but I promise everything will be fine."

Of course he thought she'd miss Ginny more than Harry. They were supposed to be extremely close. What a lie. They hadn't been close in a long time.

"You're right it'll be okay, just me being a silly pregnant woman and getting emotional." She said laughingly trying not to break down hysterically and Ron patted her head like she was a dog she bit back a snappy remark.

"Well try to keep your hormones in check." He said jokingly but in a way that made Hermione feel extremely patronised. She merely nodded. "Now I think we'd best move the wedding up. I mean you don't really want to get married looking the size of a house." He said and Hermione narrowed her eyes. What a thing to say. "And we should probably keep the pregnancy quiet. Imagine what the prophet would say! They'd think the only reason I'm marrying you is because you're knocked up." Hermione wanted to say something but he placed a finger on her lips. "I mean I have an image to keep up at the Ministry. Of course some people will do the math once the babies born but we'll be married then and we can just spin it that you didn't know. I say we can get this thing over and done with in about three weeks. It'll take work but you don't mind do you? Between you and mum it'll be fine. And that way Harry and Ginny don't need to be flooing back and forth." He was going again and Hermione's head was spinning. She wanted to shout and yell and tell him where to go but it was all happening so fast.

"We can tell the family after the wedding about your condition of course and the press a bit later. You can't tell your parents though, you never know who they will talk to. Now I'll Owl to mum and see when we can throw an engagement party. The prophet can be present at that too, great photo opportunity." He said but Hermione couldn't process it all. When had he turned into such a career fanatic? Image, photo opportunities, name at the ministry. Had her affair with Harry made her miss so much?

"Ron…" she interrupted "Ron! Slow down!"

"Sorry love." He said looking her in the eye again. "It's just time is money and all that. We have to get going on this. I'm happy but your timing isn't the best in the world."

"My timing!?" she said hotly.

"Now, now we wouldn't want you getting angry." He said taking her hand and leading her to the couch. "You just sit there and don't worry your pretty little curly head. I'll get things started and you can lounge about and eat chocolate and strawberries and do what ever it is pregnant women do. Ron will take care of you."

Those words made her shudder. She didn't want him to take care of her. It was all too fast. Harry, the wedding, everything. For the first time in a long time she felt she was in control of nothing. Ron gave her a peck on the cheek.

"Now I have to get back to work. I'll be over tonight." He said turning to leave. He reached the door. "Oh and I love you 'Mione."

Then he was gone and Hermione was alone and the world was spinning.

--

Harry sat in the hospital room flipping miserably through a magazine. He was waiting for Ginny to come back from her daily physiotherapy. He barely left her side and so this was the only time he had to think by himself. He hated thinking, thinking led to thinking about her, wanting her which led to pain and guilt and a million other feelings that left him riddled with angst. After what seemed like an eternity he heard voices from the corridor. Ginny entered in a wheelchair with two female Healer. They were giggling girlishly.

"Oh Ginny you are a riot!" Exclaimed one. Harry smiled half heartedly. That was his Ginny, always the charmer.

"Ah Mr Potter." Said the other Healer looking a bit flushed. "We were just discussing Ginny's recovery process."

"They say I'll be able to go home in a few days Harry." Ginny told him.

"That's great." He replied trying to sound cheerful.

"You know I'm just dying for a coffee. Harry would you be a doll and run down to the cafeteria and grab me one?" She asked and Harry nodded. The next ten minutes passed hazily. They always did when he was alone…when he was thinking. Since he had kissed Hermione it was like he was sleep walking. He was standing in the lift on his way back up from the cafeteria, which was in the basement with the coffee when she came in and awoke him. The doors opened on the ground floor to reveal her. Her curly hair was pulled back in a ponytail and she wore a opal grey coat. Their eyes connected for a moment and the sleep left him. She strode into the lift and stood motionless as the doors closed. He could almost feel her ready to burst beside him.

"Hermione look…" he began but she cut him off.

"I don't want you to go." She said abruptly and he raised an eyebrow. This wasn't how he wanted her to find out. But then he hadn't been man enough to tell her himself. "I don't want you to go to California, I don't want you to." She said continued hotly. "It's not fair…I know we cant help all that's happened between us but and I know that we didn't…" she looked away from him for a moment. "I've stood by these past three weeks, in the hospital with Ginny and with Ron and everyone and I've smiled and I've talked and I felt like-"

"Hermione please." Harry begged her placing a hand on her elbow and moving closer.

"No, I felt like that it's not fair, it's just not fair. I don't want you to go to California because I'm losing my best friend and it's not fair!" There were tears spilling from her eyes now. "It's just not fair." Hermione croaked out. Harry wrapped an arm around her and pulled her close as she the tears spilled down and she cried into his neck. "I don't see why you need to leave." She said weakly.

Harry abruptly let go, regaining control of his senses.

"Because last time we were this close..." He said almost in a whisper "I kissed you. I can't keep kissing you in apartments or broom closets or lifts."

"I know…" she replied.

"I love you Hermione and you love me and as long as we feel that way I cant be around you." Harry barely recognised the words coming out of his own mouth barely recognising the croaky tone. Hermione turned away from him. She couldn't bare to look at him anymore. She knew what he was saying was true but she didn't want to accept it. With a ping the elevator doors opened.

"Hey guys." Said a cheerful Ron. "I was looking for you. Ready to go back up?"

Wordlessly they left the lift.

A/N – A special prize for those who can identify where this scene is from! Oh and only one more angsty part to come and it's not that bad, I'd say this was probably the angstiest!

Review and I might update before the end of the week!

Performanceaddict x


	18. Chapter 18

Chapter 18

A/n: Hey all sorry about the wait. I've had this chapter done but no internet for the past week and a half! And my college show which kind of took over my life! Anyway here it is – we're almost there.

Chapter 18

Hermione picked up the letter on her coffee table that Saturday morning. It was light and embossed with the St. Mungo's seal. She'd been so preoccupied this last week since she found out Harry was leaving she'd completely forgotten about it. She cracked open the seal and took out the thin parchment inside.

_Dear Ms Granger, _

_We at the St. Mungo's maternity department enclose in this letter the date and time for your optional first trimester check up. While it is not compulsory for you to attend during your pregnancy it is highly recommended that you are present. The appointment is essential in checking on your un-born child's health and progression and as you are a registered patient of St. Mungo's we feel it will be beneficial for you to receive your prenatal care here. Your appointment is as follows: _

_August 7__th__ 10:30 am. _

_Wishing you the best magical health,_

_St. Mungos maternity department_

Hermione sighed and dropped the letter back onto the table. The appointment was for that day; she knew she should have opened it earlier. Hermione had already planned to go wedding dress shopping with Ginny and Molly, perhaps now she could use this as a way out. She really didn't want to be around anyone right now anyway –especially Ginny. She was still in shock from Harry's announcement and her mind was constantly going at a million miles an hour hatching schemes to make him stay. Each more crazy and tiring than the last. Her pregnancy was draining her physically and her emotions were draining her mentally.

She was at first overjoyed to find that her appointment was that day but then she realised that cancelling on Molly would cause her to launch the Spanish inquisition and of course she couldn't have that.

"_Not when it could hurt Ron's political agenda." _She thought sarcastically. Still she didn't want Molly pestering her so scribbling on another piece of parchment she told Molly she'd have to push their nightmarish shopping trip back a few hours because of work. Then she grabbed a handful of clothes and headed towards the bathroom. As she passed her window she saw the sun shining brightly, the birds chirping and the world seemed to emit cheeriness. She wondered if today might be better than the last few weeks, if this was going to be the day it all turned around. Maybe just maybe it would be.

--

Harry began to cough as the dust rose from the attic floor and stung his eyes. He was milling around in the loft of Grimmauld place looking for extra boxes. He couldn't believe it but during the next week or so he'd be starting to transport his stuff over to the new flat in California. The thought alone was adding to his misery.

"Shit!" he swore as his foot collided with something wooden. "Screw this" he murmured "Lumos". All of a sudden the dingy attic was filled with a bright light. He glanced down to see with what his foot had collided against. A smile crossed his face as he recognised his old school trunk. Before he and Ginny had moved in together he'd lived at Grimmauld place for a while and forgot he left some stuff up in the attic. Bending down he undid the buckle and opened the trunk. Fond memories flittered through his mind as he pulled out the contents. His old Quidditch shirt, a cracked crystal ball, remainders of old half finished essays and a few pictures he'd forgotten were even taken. He supposed Collin must have snapped them at some time or another. He flicked through them. There was one of Ron and him stuffing their faces happily, one of him and Ginny in which she was waving and smiling at someone out of view of the camera lens and to his surprise the rest of the pile were of him and Hermione. He wondered why he hadn't noticed them before. They weren't commemorating anything special just random pictures from through out the years. There was one of him poking fun at Hermione for something in first year and the present Harry laughed as he saw and 11-year-old Hermione's cheeks flush red. There was another in which they were dancing stupidly in 4th year obviously taking the piss out of Professor McGonagall and another photograph that Harry's heart ached at. They were smiling happily at the camera. It was the day of Bill and Fluer's wedding, he knew this because he recognised the lemon dress Hermione was wearing. The young Harry was standing behind Hermione with his arms around her waist and his head resting on her shoulder. They were waving and every so often Harry would kiss the top of Hermione's head lovingly. He realised at that moment that his feelings for Hermione hadn't spurted from his loneliness or his frustration or anything else involving Ginny but that they had always been there is some way. The protectiveness he had shown years ago was more than just brotherly love. It was an undeniable sense that if anything ever happened to Hermione he wouldn't be able to cope. He sighed and tossed the photos back into the trunk and slammed it shut. He checked his watch and realised he had better get going. Ginny was coming home today and he had to pick her up. For some unfathomable reason this did not fill Harry with a warm fuzzy feeling.

--

Hermione shuffled down the corridor hands shoved in her long pea green coat. She was staring at the floor as she walked. Her mind was still buzzing. It hadn't stopped. She just had to find a way to make Harry stay. She had to say something, do something that would give him no reason to leave. She'd thought of a million ways. A memory loss spell to make him forget all that had went on between them, a de-lust spell to make him never want her again and she'd even considered blackmailing him and telling him that if he left she'd spill their little secret. But she couldn't do any of those things: they just weren't her. She couldn't curse or poison or hurt her best friend and the man she loved in that way. Then again love makes you do crazy things.

Smack! She collided with someone. She didn't really see who it was, a tall blonde blur really.

"Sorry." She mumbled and continued walking she was almost at the prenatal ward anyway. She didn't hear the reply mostly because she wasn't listening for it. Hermione was just slumping along like a zombie.

Finally she arrived at her destination. Hermione looked up for practically the first time since she'd left the house and into a young Mediwitches face. She was a brunette with the cheek bones of a model and big brown eyes the colour of chocolate.

"Good morning." She said sickeningly sweet showing a row of pearly white teeth, completely straight and proper.

"Hermione Granger, I'm here for my prenatal exam." Hermione replied dully. The chirpy witch who Hermione decided was irritating her just by being nodded and ticked her name off on a list.

"If you could just follow me Ms Granger I'll take you to the exam room." She said coming from behind her desk. This annoyed Hermione more as it showed Hermione what her figure would never look like. The Mediwitch was extremely slim with a D cup and just the right size of bum. Hermione, who had always been slim was now just starting to put on pregnancy weight and could feel it. She silently cursed the witch and her size 4 robes.

After being told to change into a paper like gown Hermione was left alone until the healer came in. When he did arrive Hermione was quite glad. He could not be described as good looking in any way shape or form which cheered Hermione up slightly. The actual exam Hermione thought was almost Muggle. The old healer but a jelly like substance on her stomach and pointed his wand. A few seconds later a tiny image came up on a black and white screen next to the exam chair. Hermione gasped. On the screen was a dot roughly the size of a jacket potato. As the image intensified she saw the beginnings of a Granger like nose and mouth as well as miniscule hands and feet on the ends of half inch limbs.

"Say hello to your baby Ms Granger." The old ugly healer said and Hermione felt a tear arrive in her eye but couldn't explain why it was there. "Excuse me while I go and get you a vitamin shot."

Hermione was alone again but this time she didn't feel it. This time she could see the tiny being growing inside her and she knew she'd never be alone ever again. She'd always be connected to something, always be close to someone even when she wasn't.

"Hi baby." She said quietly putting a hand on the screen. She was in awe. "I promise no one will ever come before you. You're the most important thing in my life now."

Almost in response she saw the jacket potato stretch out it's tiny fingers and then make a fist.

"Right Ms Granger. This is a B12 injection. It will help your immune system which is looking a little run down at the moment but that's only natural in the first stages of pregnancy." The healer said re-entering. Hermione jumped at the slight prick of the needle as he pressed it into her skin and the liquid seeped in.

After another twenty minutes of prodding and poking Hermione was finally done. She felt elated for the first time in weeks, her head was clear. She had saw that precious little life inside her and it had soothed the aching in her. She could think again. Her mind had stopped spinning. She had come up with a plan to make Harry stay and as she walked past Ginny's hospital room and saw him pack away her clothes she knew it was time to end it once and for all.

--

Harry was daydreaming as he folded clothes into a large suit bag. If you asked him what it was about he couldn't tell you. All he knew was that he was somewhere very far away. Somewhere better than this, somewhere happy. He jumped slightly as the door opened. He almost smiled when he saw it was Hermione at the door but knew by her manner that it wasn't going to be a pleasant visit.

"You're not leaving." She said abruptly and Harry moved to talk but she silenced him with by raising her hand. "Listen…we made a mistake. We had sex." The silence echoed around them. "That's all it was."

Harry's mind whirled why was she saying this.

"I think…" she started again. "We both wanted it to mean something so that we didn't throw our friendship away over nothing because you didn't want to have to feel like that guy who cheats on his girlfriend and I didn't want to have to feel like that girl who put you in that position in the first place."

"Hermione I don't understand why your saying thi-"

"Don't Harry. You need to hear this." She said strongly. He was starting to believe what she was saying. "The truth is it didn't mean anything."

The words stung Harry, how could she say what they had didn't mean anything? Hadn't she just begged him to stay because she was in love with him? Hadn't she kissed him in a broom closet? Why would she say that they didn't mean anything?

"I know you think I love you…but I don't." she said and Harry felt cold inside. If she didn't love him who did? "At least not that way Harry. You're my best friend and I love you like a brother but I was selfish, I led you on and made you think it was you I wanted but I don't. I just needed someone to show me how much I loved Ron and you were him. So you can stay. You don't need to worry about me kissing you any more. You're not leaving."

She nodded to him and turned swiftly on her heel and was back out the door again, like the powerful storm she was. Harry was stunned. He backed into a chair and sat down, for the first time ever he knew what it felt like to be heartbroken.

--

Hermione apparated from St. Mungo's back to her apartment. She kept saying over and over in her mind that she was strong, that she had done the right thing. It was what had kept her together while she lied to him but the lie was over now and she broke down. As much as she tried to keep the tears inside they just spilled out. She wasn't really crying for herself anymore. No she was long past crying over Harry's rejection. She was crying because she lied to Harry, because she'd hurt him like that, because he'd never love her or look at her the same way again, never love their child. But at least he'd be in their lives and that's all that mattered. He'd be there. Still it didn't stop her tears. No the thing that did was the knock on the door.

"Hermione dear are you in there?" Came the chirpy voice of Molly Weasley but she couldn't find the words to answer. She knew if she did right away her voice would crack and she'd be found out.

"It's Molly and Ginny. Are you there?" Mrs Weasley continued and Hermione wiped her tearstained cheeks and took a deep breath.

"I'll just be a minute." She called through the door that she had been leaning on. Hermione wiped her face again and choked down the lump in her throat and praying she didn't looked like she'd been crying she opened the door.

"Come on dear or we'll be late for your dress fitting." Molly said sharply.

"Dress fitting?" said Hermione "I thought we were just going to look at ones today."

"Oh no!" said Ginny like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"Yes the weddings much to soon for that!" Molly exclaimed. "I picked a beautiful one out the other day it just needs taken up a bit. Don't worry."

"But…but-" Hermione started.

"Come on 'Mione no time to argue." Ginny said cutting her off as Molly grabbed her by the arm and whisked her away.

--

A/n- Okay so two more chapters to go and then an epilogue. I have the next chapter almost done so that's good news for you guys. However bad news is that I'm off to London for a week on Sunday to do some much needed musical theatre therapy and partying so I don't know if I'll be able to update but I promise I'll try my best.

_Wasn't sure if I was gonna have that last bit of Harry/Hermione drama before it all goes tits up next chapter. But I first envisioned it to be in there so I decided to stay true to my original plan even if people will want to hurt me because of all the angstyness but I promise it's the last bit! Yay! _

_Hope you liked and congrats to all who got the Grey's Anatomy scene last chapter! _

_Performanceaddict x_


	19. Chapter 19

Chapter 19

A/n: Second last chapter…this is where it all goes to pot :) my favourite so far! Enjoy!

Chapter 19

It was a disaster. A disaster of unmitigated proportions. It was like a toxic chemical spill or a nuclear bomb or a massive earthquake but with frills and bows. Yes, there were more frills and bows on the dress Hermione was cocooned in than she had ever seen added together in all her life. It was quite ridiculous. A ridiculous disaster.

"Oh Hermione…" Said Molly Weasley with a tear in her eye. "You look so beautiful."

Hermione stifled a laugh.

"It's the same make of dress I got married in you know." Molly continued and Hermione's eyes widened.

"Can we go yet?" Ginny whined. She had got bored around the same time the handsome man behind the counter went on his lunch break. Thereafter she had constantly complained about her back pains even though she had taken about twenty painkillers.

"My poor baby." Said Molly lovingly. It would seem she wanted to dote upon Ginny ever since she had regained consciousness. Ginny of course played this up to no end and Hermione wondered how bad her injuries were if she could go shopping while her boyfriend packed away all her clothes at the hospital. "Don't worry Ginny, Hermione shouldn't hold us up too long." Molly said. Hermione bit her tongue.

"You can take Ginny home if you like, I'm sure I can figure out all this by myself." Said Hermione hurriedly. "I'd hate to be a burden."

"Oh no it's alright dear, I mean we shouldn't be too long. This one is perfect, don't you think?" Molly said flattening out the long lace train.

"Well…I erm…" Began Hermione but Molly waved a hand at her.

"Yes, I know what's wrong with it." She continued and Hermione saw Ginny roll her eyes. Hermione stifled a laugh; it was almost like old times. Back when she and Ginny were close and Molly would occasionally encroach upon their girly shopping days and bore them to tears with her ramblings. Now when Hermione looked at Ginny she just felt guilt.

"Yes, exactly what's wrong. The back needs to be tightened." Molly concluded.

"Tighte-?" Hermione started to say but before she could finish Molly had pulled so hard on the corset back that all wind had been knocked out of her, she thought this couldn't be good for the baby.

"We just needed to accentuate that recently springing bust and there perfect!" Molly said clapping her hands. "Well Hermione?"

Hermione again was speechless but this time it was because she wasn't sure she would have enough air to form a comprehensible sentence.

"Oh for god sakes mother! The dress is atrocious!" Ginny announced loudly, folding her arms. "Absolutely the ugliest thing I've ever seen but Hermione is too polite to say…now I'm tired and sore and bored and I want to go so can we please just get her out of that ridiculous dress so she can pick another one and we can go?" Ginny said maliciously and Molly went slightly red with shame and hurt but Ginny just rolled her eyes. "Hermione agrees with me, right?"

"I…I…the dress." Hermione said. She couldn't believe Ginny had talked that way to her mother. All nostalgic notions of their previous outings disappeared and her guilt was getting there. "I think if we just…tone it down on the bows it'll be great Molly." Hermione continued throwing Ginny a look of contempt which she brushed off. "Really, it's a…a unique style just a bit busy. How about we get this one and then you can alter it for me, because you know I'm useless with a needle and thread."

At this Hermione saw Molly's face lighten again. After all she had the promise of being useful.

"A very sensible idea Hermione." Said Molly practically beaming.

"Well you know me. Always got a logical head on my shoulders." Hermione replied. _Yeah right. _

--

Harry opened locker 315 thinking wistfully that it would be the very last time. It had actually never meant to be his locker at all but an unused one. It was aged and one side was bashed in a bit on but he had grown accustomed to it. He was supposed to get a brand spanking new one like all the other recruits of that year but someone had filled it with some everlasting purple staining gloop and thus he had been given a temporary old one which had become permanent as he said that it had a bit of character and he would like to keep it. Some thought him a bit eccentric for saying a locker had character but he liked his positions to say something about himself. The locker had been bashed about, used and abused but all the while still standing the same as him. It saddened Harry to be cleaning it out.

Now the reason the new locker had been filled with staining purple gloop was that the perpetrator – who was never found – thought that locker had been assigned to none other than fellow recruit Draco Malfoy. They could tell because as the gloop exploded out giving Harry very little time to duck it spelled 'Go home death eater scum' all over the opposite wall. It didn't take a mastermind to figure out that message was for. Still this had not made Malfoy any less determined to become an auror, though Harry had no idea why. Even with his families humiliation and half their assets being frozen pending further enquiry he didn't need to work, he had enough money for generations to come. And yet there he was fighting his way up in auror school sometimes right alongside Harry, they had changed from enemies in school to team mates and opponents so many times over the last year. It was hard to know where they stood. But then again they were men they never felt the need to talk about it. Still what Malfoy told him as he was cleaning out his locker surprised him.

"Potter." Said Malfoy in a tone of voice Harry had never heard from him. He sounded almost concerned. It's strange what can be put across in only one word.

"What is it?" Harry said looking up from his packing.

"I thought you should know." Malfoy began.

"Yeah?"

"I saw Granger today."

"And?" Said Harry sharply, any mention of Hermione stung him. Their last conversation still hung in his mind and brought tears to his eyes.

"She was at the hospital." Draco said.

"Yeah she was probably looking for Ginny. They were going dress shopping today." Harry said, trying to brush off the subject and hide his noticeable irritation.

"No she was heading towards the maternity ward. Pansy and Blaise just had a baby boy so I had to give my congratulations and I was on my out when she near enough careered right into me." Malfoy explained.

"You must have got it wrong, Hermione doesn't know anyone who had a baby and I doubt she'd be saying hello to little Blaise junior." Harry said beginning his packing again.

"Tobias the little buggers name is actually and I'm sure of it. She looked like hell too…pale, dark shadows round her eyes, carrying a bit of weight looks li-"

"Yeah whatever Malfoy she's allowed to have a bad day." Harry said hotly.

"Calm down Potter I didn't mean it like that. She just doesn't look well…and neither do you." He said a little softer than before.

"I'm touched by your concern." Harry said sarcastically.

"Look let me give you some advice Potter." Malfoy said and Harry rolled his eyes. Malfoy continued anyway. "What ever secret you two are carrying, whatever you did…and if it's what I think it is it's about bloody time and should have happened yea-"

"Is there a point to this Malfoy?" Said Harry cutting him off. Thinking it would stop him but alas no.

"Yes. I'm getting there. Anyway secrets and guilt aren't good things to keep inside you saw what it did to me in 6th year. Not exactly the same thing…but you know not healthy." Malfoy said and Harry heard actual sincerity in his voice.

"Thanks." Harry said after a minute "But I'm putting things behind me."

"Well it was bearable working with you Potter." Malfoy said with a hint of laughter in his voice and offering his hand.

"You to Malfoy." Harry replied and shook it, then closing his locker Harry gave him one last nod before the two old adversaries parted.

--

Harry sat quietly in a corner of the kitchen of the burrow the following night, thinking of what Malfoy had said. He had gone off in his head again as he found himself doing a lot these days. But he was happy he could now, he didn't think he could get through the night if he had to pay attention to what was going on.

It was Ron and Hermione's engagement party/ Ginny and Harry's farewell bash and there were tears of joy and sadness – mostly from Molly Weasley. Harry didn't know which party he was enjoying least. He didn't want to leave and he certainly didn't want to celebrate Hermione's up coming nuptials to another man, even if it was to his best friend. So yes he was very glad he could wander off in his own head. Although it did have it's disadvantages.

"What do you think Harry?" said Ginny. An alarm bell went off in his head, best to be noncommittal.

"Well its…a big…decision…so…" He babbled trying to bide time but Ginny, Ron and Hermione stared back at him with confusion on their faces.

"Yes terribly big decision whether to have sausage rolls or mini quiche at the reception Harry." Said Hermione. It was the first thing she'd said to him directly since their last conversation. Ron and Ginny laughed.

"Are you feeling ok mate? You look a bit spaced out." Said Ron.

"Eh yeah…fine. Excuse me." Harry said and left the group to go and talk to Lupin and Tonks. Ginny merely shrugged her shoulders and went on to bore Hermione to tears about how she should have dove centre pieces.

Harry was immediately enveloped in a hug from Tonks.

"I can't believe your leaving next week Harry." She said misty eyed.

"It's not going to be the same without you here." Lupin added.

"Well at least it's not forever…" Tonks said and Harry began to wonder just how long it would take for him to get over Hermione. How long would it take to forget her? The way her hair smelled, the smile she gave only for him or the feeling of her soft skin. Would he ever?

"Mmm…" Harry grunted.

"It's what's best for Ginny I suppose, although she seems to be doing remarkably well, she's not even using crutches anymore." Lupin said.

"Still popping the pain killers like sweets though I see." Said Tonks jokingly. Harry talked with them for another few minutes before Ginny clutched on to him again. It would seem that the champagne that had been opened earlier and the medicine had loosened her tongue and she was babbling nonsense in his ear. Harry saw her reach into her bag for another two pills.

"I don't think you need them right now Gin." Harry said reaching to take the vial of pills off her but she snatched her hand away.

"My back hurts." She said slurring slightly.

"I really think you've had enough." He said a little more forcefully.

"Stop telling me what to…to…do!" she said and flung another two pain killers into her mouth, flushing them down with champagne. Harry grunted annoyed in response and sat down in a near my chair.

The house was as busy as it had been that night he and Ginny had had their anniversary party. Images of what he and Hermione did in the toilet came flooding into his mind. He shook his head, he really needed to get away. Then suddenly he heard a chink of a glass. Everyone's head turned towards the red head standing in the middle of the kitchen raising her champagne flute.

"Attention! Attention every…everyone!" Ginny stammered standing up on a near by wooden chair. It would seem that the alcohol and pills had just hit her like a tone of bricks.

"Tonight is a very…a very special night. Tonight is not only Harry and-" she stopped to hiccup "Me and Harry's leaving party but a very special enga…engad…pre-marriage party for Ron and Hermione! So I proposed I toaster…I mean I toast to the happy happy couple!" she said with a giggle and everyone in good humor went along, after all Ginny meant well.

"To Ron and Hermione!" she lamented and everyone raised a glass. "The bushy haired book worm and my halfwit brother…not exactly a match made in heaven but hey…how much better could they do?" There were a few nervous laughs before she continued. "Well I suppose Hermione has done a little ency weency bit better haven't you 'Mione?"

The whole room went silent and you could feel the confusion in the air.

"Oh yes! She has lads and gentlewomen! Because" Another hiccup "She has been keeping a very biiiiiiiiiiiiiiggg secret from us. Yep and my wonderful boyfriend Harry too where are you?" she said looking dreary eyed around the room till she found him. "There you are, stand up!" she said still giggling not really any anger in her voice but you could feel the tension.

"I think that's enough Ginny." Said Lupin urging her down from her makeshift pedestal.

"No, no!" Ginny said her voice going abnormally high "I'm not done…yeah Harry there you are. How I adore you Harry and you Hermione but imagine my surprise when I come to the conclusion that you two are fucking!" she said and everyone stared open mouthed. "I know! That was my reaction too…didn't think Hermione had it in her but there you go…the book worms a bitch!"

"Hermione is this true?" Ron said flabbergasted.

"I…erm…" she said but was interrupted by Ginny.

"Every word! But it's ok….it's fine because I have a confession too Harry, my sweet adoring boyfriend. While you were fucking the bookworm I was fucking…well everyone! Seamus, Dean, a few high up people in the ministry…even had a go on Malfoy…he didn't know it though…" She counted them on her fingers and everyone was still staring at her mouths agape. "It's been going on for agggggeess it would have been easier dumping you once I realised that you and Hermione were getting it on but then all those fancy balls and publicity would go out the window. But I did realise you dimwit, you started doing everything that I had been doing for years and years and years Harry. Not coming home, not paying me any attention…and well I realised it was Hermione at our anniversary party when I caught you two looking doey eyed at each other. So I guess I should change my toast…to Harry and Hermione the biggest fucking backstabbers the wizarding world has ever seen!"

Strangely enough no one wanted to repeat the toast. Molly Weasley was in tears, Lupin was staring at Harry open mouthed, Ron had gone very pale and looked as if he was going to throw up and Ginny had plonked herself down on her chair and was looking extremely stoned. Harry doubted whether she even knew what she had said. He looked at Hermione who was close to tears and he felt a strange mix of emotions course through him. Shame, guilt, anger but also for some reason a strange relief. Suddenly the room felt extremely hot. Only a few seconds had gone by since Ginny stopped talking but it felt like an eternity. Finally the anger took over the rest of his emotions. He looked at Hermione and then at Ginny.

"I'm done." He said simply "I'm done with all of this."

Then without another word he grabbed his jacket and walked out the front door.

A/N: Told you the shit was going to hit the fan! And wow Ginny knew? Who would have thought! Not me till I wrote it anyway…hahaha…hmm what will happen now? Happy ending? Will Harry still go to America?

Review and I'll tell you!

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	20. Chapter 20

Chapter 20

A/n: Well you guys review so fast I had to post this, see I do listen!

And I'm quite sad because the story is at an end…more or less…(wicked laugh) as of 00:41 Glasgow time I have 86639 hits, 348 reviews and this story is on 107 favourites! And I'm truly AMAZED! This is really my 1st fict and I cant believe all the wonderful feed back I've been given! So to my reviewers thank you! You have been outstanding! Now on with the chapter!

Chapter 20

Every eye was now on Hermione. She could feel it, feel them, those eyes burning into her. The silence was deafening and apart from a few awkward shuffles everything was still, it was like a bomb had just dropped. Hermione supposed it had. A bomb destroys; it desolates and forces everything to change. That's what had happened. Nothing would ever be the same again. Suddenly to her left she heard a thud. Ron had punched the wall next to him.

"Ron…I-" she began but he cut her off.

"I don't want to hear it." He said angrily, his cheeks turning the colour of his hair. "How could you do this to me?"

"I'm so sorry…I didn't want you to find out like this." She said her eyes glued to the floor.

"I just don't understand why. Why him? Why Harry? Did you do it just to hurt me? You know how hard it is for me to live in his fucking shadow. Did you do it just to get back at me for not moving in with you?" he spat.

"No no it wasn't like that!" Hermione said tears running down her face.

"Damn it Hermione don't lie to me!" he said gripping her shoulders.

"That's enough Ron." Said Lupin motioning to get in between them but Hermione shook her head. This was between her and Ron.

"It's enough when I say it's enough!" he snarled. "All I tried to do was give you a good life and you repay me by doing this! Shagging another guy like some 2 knut tart! And what about the baby? Is that bastard kid his too? Cause if it is I want nothing to fucking do with it." Ron shouted tightening his grip. There was an intake of sharp breath from all across the room. Hermione wrenched herself away. Finding strength from somewhere she looked at him in disgust. She was sick of this. Sick of feeling guilty and of being ashamed, it was out in the open now and she didn't care anymore. Ron was being a self-centred prick as usual, he thought what happened with Harry was all about him when really it had been bubbling under the surface for years. But that was Ron; he had to be the centre of attention. Well Hermione decided that it was over now. Straightening herself up she looked him dead in the eye.

"I'm sorry Ronald. I truly am, no one deserves to be cheated on… but frankly you come pretty damn close. You didn't try to give me a good life you forced what you wanted on me and never let me have an opinion! But still no matter what you might think I never wanted to hurt you, I never set out to cause you pain. In fact I hurt Harry to protect you, I told him I didn't love him but I do. I love him like I loved you once." She said and took off the engagement ring he had gotten her and placed it in his hand. "But I've been out of love for a long time, you just didn't look at me close enough to see it. I hope one day we can get past this but I know you and I wont be surprised if you never want to see me again. That's fine; I'll get over it. Goodbye Ron."

Without another word she moved past him but he grabbed her arm as she went by and whirled her around to look at him.

"Where do you think you're going, we're not done yet!" he shouted and she had her wand at his throat in an instant.

"Yes we are." She said and her eyes burned with so much intensity he dared not challenge her. Immediately he let go of her arm and stared at her in hatred. Hermione shook her head, how had things ever gotten this bad between them? The Ron she used to know would have never given her that look even if she'd cheated on him, joined Voldemort and had the whole Quidditch League disbanded on the same afternoon.

The rest of the partygoers moved quickly to let her past. They all knew where she was going. They knew she was going after Harry. Some of them had expected this to happen all along, others were shocked beyond belief but they parted the way for her none the less as she walked swiftly and formidably out the door. It slammed shut and everyone seemed to awaken from his or her trance apart from Ginny Weasley who was still sitting in her chair a dazed smile on her face, blissfully unaware of the anarchy she had created.

--

Harry flung his jacket on as he stamped over one of the small hills surrounding the burrow. It was bitterly cold outside and the storm clouds had begun to gather but he didn't feel it. He didn't really feel anything, what had happened hadn't really sunk in yet. He had said he was done but what did that really mean? Clearly he wasn't _done_. What had happened had left him in no clear position. Would he leave now? Distance himself from everyone he knew? Would the even want to know him at all? He knew in his heart of hearts that the Golden Trio would never be again. Harry felt he couldn't be around Hermione without wanting her and feeling the pain she caused him when she ripped his heart in two and he knew Ron had to much pride to ever forgive them. Fifteen years of friendship down the drain. And yet, he felt if he could do it all over again, if he had the opportunity to live his life the way it had been going or have those few blissful weeks with Hermione, he'd choose Hermione every time. He found it utterly ridiculous how one person could make you feel like that.

After a good five minutes of trundling through the land surrounding the Burrow he stopped on top of a mound and threw himself down. The sky was darkening and it was going to rain soon but he didn't care.

"Let the rain come, let anything come." He murmured as a crash of thunder echoed around him. But at that moment the thing or rather the person he had been least expecting came.

"Harry? Harry?" her voice came flittering through the wind. He looked behind him and could just see her shivering form at the bottom of the hill. He looked away miserably and felt the first spatter of moisture on his face. She was bound to blame him now. To tell him how he'd ruined everything, well he'd have a few choice words for her too. He heard her footsteps come closer and felt her presence behind him.

"Harry…" she said softly.

"It was all a lie wasn't it?" he said sharply standing up to face her but he couldn't look her in the eye, he simply stared at the watery grass.

"What was?" she asked quietly.

"Everything." He replied. "What we shared, you already said you didn't love me…I thought you did." He continued the rain beginning to pour down. "That was a lie. Ginny loving me that was a lie too. Her honesty, the plans we made – all lies. I cant believe we could kid ourselves that we were best friends in the first place. Best friends wouldn't let things like this happen!" The anger was bubbling to the surface. It was just like 5th year everyone was manipulating him, lying to him, keeping secrets from him. The word vomit had started. "We've kept secrets too and not the good kind. Like why were you at the hospital Hermione? Malfoy seen you, says you looked like crap. Is there something wrong and you're not telling me? I know you don't love me but does that mean I'm not allowed to care for you? Will you deny me that too? Will you stop me caring for the woman I love…loved!" he said bitterly. They were trapped in silence, the rain thundering down round about them, the wind cutting into them on the mound like a thousand icy knives. "Well…say something!" he said in a tone of voice Hermione had never heard him use. It was half demanding have pleading in desperation. She took a deep breath.

"I'm pregnant Harry." She said and he looked at her with wide eyes. He hadn't heard that right had he?

"What…?" he said slowly.

"I said I'm pregnant…and it's yours. That's why I was at the hospital…" she said. Apparently he had. "And you're right, I have been lying to you. I said back when we first started I didn't care if you ever left Ginny. That was a lie, I want you all for myself. I said when you first ended things I loved Ron and that I would marry him. That was a lie what I feel for Ron doesn't compare to what I feel for you. And I said I didn't love you. It's the biggest lie I've ever told, I love you more than life itself, I always have…" she said and he looked at her in amazement. "But I know I hurt you and I can understand if you cant forgi-"

She was silenced by his lips and his hand around her waist. This kiss was so tender and so loving it washed everything away. It was all the reassurance she could ever need. They let the kiss take them away for a few blissful moments. For a few minutes they weren't Harry James Potter and Hermione Jane Granger, they had no worries of what was to come, of what people would think of them, no thoughts on what had just happened. They were just two people so completely in love that nothing else in the world mattered. Finally the kiss ended.

"Hermione…never leave me again." Harry said meekly and Hermione replied with a wicked smile.

"Not even if you asked me to Potter?"

"Not even if I begged and screamed and tried pull some idiotic noble stunt. All I want and all I'll ever want is you and this baby." He said nuzzling her nose with hers.

"Alright, I think I can manage that." She said close to tears and as the rain began to cease and the last rays of the sun disappeared from view she pulled him in for another kiss.

_--Finns—_

A/N: Short and sweet. And yes before you all have a heart attack and question me to no end about what happens next there will be an epilogue a very short one to wrap things up. If you're all nice I may add some smut! Anyway I hope you've all enjoyed it and look out for my next fan fiction, which is either…

1. A voldy never existed story in that: Harry is the resident Gryffindor God and lives with his parents who own a large wizarding estate bordering on Hermione's summer home. Till now he's never looked at the bookworm Hermione Granger but as fate would have it he unexpectedly rescues her in the forest that separate their homes leading to a summer friendship and more. But trouble is brewing, mysterious magical murders are being committed and could it be that someone is after Hermione?

Or

2. The dark powers that be are sick of watching from afar and seeing Harry Potter win. They decide to send back a warning through time for Voldemort and give him the key to defeating the future chosen one. Erasing Hermione Granger from the magical world. This one act makes life very different as many horrific years later Harry hides from the magical world and has run away from his responsibilities. Meanwhile Hermione Granger property lawyer tries to hide the unusual things that happen to her. Can a chance meeting between the two put destiny back on track or will they pass each other by and all will be lost?

I will post both, just don't know which one to do first… they're both about six or seven chapters in. Suggestions would be nice!

Performanceaddict x


	21. Epilogue

A/n: The finishing touch

**_Epilogue_**

Harry nuzzled the Hermione's cheek as she slept and breathed in her delicious scent. She wished she were awake so he could nuzzle other parts of her but he'd let her sleep for now. She needed all the rest she could get. It would seem however Hermione didn't know that.

"You're doing it again." She said not opening her eyes.

"So I like to watch you sleep. Is that a crime?" Harry answered playfully, slipping a hand over her stomach and drawing little circles over her skin with his finger.

"No it's just weird." She said with a smirk and he clutched his heart in mock hurt. "Oh come here!" she said with a laugh and kissed him lightly but Harry wasn't going to let her get away that easily. With one swift movement he was on top of her giving her an almost Slytherin smirk. Hermione grinned back as he began to kiss his way down her neck and shoulders, stopping to nibble on what he knew were her more sensitive spots. Supporting himself with one arm he began to gently knead one of her breasts with the other, while she pulled him for another long kiss.

"I knew those Quidditch muscles would come in handy for something." She said finally breaking the kiss.

"Liar." He said playfully, kissing her again and settling himself between her legs. The kiss deepened as he found her already ready for him and thrust into her making her gasp – even now after so many times he loved he could still do that. She bit his bottom lip gently in appreciation. They began to move into the swift, pleasurable rhythm they had mastered and groaned in unison through the thrusts and pulses. Hermione threw her arms back and ground her hips against him in ecstasy as Harry took one of her ample breasts in his mouth. Hermione cried out as she felt the swirling and coiling of his tongue and his hot breath on her skin. Harry panted and his breathing became more rapid as did his thrusts. Over and over they moved together, skin glistening with sweat both groaning in pleasure. Harry wasn't sure how much longer he could hold out until finally he felt Hermione tighten around him and he could release himself within her calling her name in pure rapture. He stayed where he was until he was completely spent and looked into those chocolate pools staring back at him. They had all the ferocity and love as they did the first time he had saw them underneath him. In fact the first time he had ever saw her on the train she looked at him the way she was looking at him now. She saw him for who he really was. Harry, just Harry, her Harry. She gave him another one of her radiant smiles before he rolled off of her and she placed her head on his bare broad chest. She closed her eyes as he played with her hair and put his arm around her. All was peaceful and silent all was well.

Harry and Hermione jumped as from the monitor beside them the faint cry of a baby came filtering through. Hermione groaned and sat up rubbing her eyes. Harry sat up too and slipped on his boxers as Hermione put on a fluffy housecoat.

"You stay in bed. I'll get the baby." She said but he shook his head.

"I'm up anyway."

Together they moved from their bedroom through the second floor of their cottage and into the gold and red nursery. Harry and Hermione approached the crib where they're lamenting child lay. Gently Hermione picked her up and cradled her in her arms.

"Shhh Lily its alright." She said softly and the baby quietened a little.

"Wonder what woke her up?" Harry murmured.

"Probably just being temperamental." Hermione said still rocking the two-month-old baby.

"Just like mummy then?" Harry said and Hermione rolled her eyes. "Come on Lily, you have to go back to sleep now." He continued "We have to go visit granny and grandpa Weasley tomorrow."

Harry noticed the frown appear on Hermione's face. She didn't like going back to the Burrow but Harry had been like a son Molly and Arthur for so long that it felt wrong to sever all ties with them. It had taken a few months for everything to die down with Ginny and Ron but Molly and Arthur couldn't stay mad at them and since Harry didn't have parents they became Lily's other set of grandparents by forfeit. As for Ron and Ginny things were still volatile. Ron as predicted was completely stubborn and refused to talk to either of them, when the baby was born he had hastily signed his name to the bottom of Molly and Arthur's congratulations card and a week later had accepted a temporary transfer to Manchester. Ginny was still around but it would seem she was well and truly over Harry. Since then she had went on a string of very public dates with various semi-celebrities but Harry couldn't care less. It had stung to know that her affairs had been going on for so long and he hadn't quite forgiven her yet but they were being civil when they were in each other's company, which thankfully wasn't very often. But Harry wasn't complaining he had Hermione.

The press however had a field day when Harry and Hermione made their relationship public, the prophet as expected blew everything way out of proportion and said that their 'elicit affair' had been going for years but that was no surprise. The Quibbler said it was destiny as the two shared the same lunar wavelength and Teenwitches Weekly said how romantic it was that after so long being friends that the two finally got together and had rated them 1st in their hottest couples of the year. Over all they were happy and they and had each other. Harry was now a fully-fledged auror and Hermione was still on maternity leave and they were starting to find a balance in their life. It wasn't the perfect fairytale ending but it was close enough.

"Look how beautiful our daughter is." Harry said proudly as Hermione lay her back in her crib. Hermione murmured in agreement and rested her head on Harry's shoulder. They stood like this for a few minutes, the perfect family picture until Harry leaned low and put his arms around her.

"Fancy trying for another?" he said picking Hermione up in his arms and carrying her to bedroom with her giggling all the way.

--

A/n: Well guys it's finally done! hope that tied up all the looseish ends...

Now im gonna take a few weeks to work on those ideas, actually do college work and revitalise those creative juices...thank you to everyone who read and reviewed, please keep doing that in the future!

Performanceaddict x


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